Marriage Monday.. is he marriage material?

He tells her that he is NOT that guy who settles down.

He tells her that he is NOT looking for a wife.

He tells her that ANY guy who tells you he wants the same woman for the next 50 years is lying.

Sure signs that he MAY still have some "growing" up to do!

I was recently talking with a friend of mine, who, like a lot of women, (including myself), has had a guy who has been in and out of her life for the past ten years. I have been in her life for the past five years of those and have watched this guy come back in and out, breaking a piece of her heart each time. 

Their story is like every story you hear about when you hear about "the guy who is in and out of her life" - she "loved" him at one point, still does in fact and think that he keeps coming in and out for a reason.  She is holding onto the hope that this time is "IT" - unfortunately, thus far, it has been anything BUT.

Her guy was married around the time they started, whatever you want to call it, their love affair. This broke her heart. He ended up with a kid and a divorce and since has been closed on the subject of commitment or labels, as far as she is concerned. At one point he even went so far to have something going on with her and then told her that he had a girlfriend. 

To be fair, this stuff is all in the past. He has reverted to the line that it isn't her, it is him. He has told her that he is not the kind of guy that settles down and she deserves better. I, for one, have heard this line a few times in my early dating years. I think, at one point, I even heard this from Hubby. (long story- maybe next weeks topic)

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So, they had a break, but started a "friendship" back in March of last year. They really didn't see each other until September/ October-ish of last year. It sounded to me, as an outsider, friends with benefits, but then, something happened. He started to let her in a little at a time. I told her to have fun, don't get attached and for God's sake, don't change who she was for him! (He harps on her for emotions, craziness and blah blah blah!) 

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Well, a few weeks ago, they are still re-kindling a romance she finally got to meet his son (he is 6 and yes, this was the first time she EVER met him- kind of strange, right!)  But, before that, he told her about one of his friends and asked her to look him up on Facebook. Something about them all going out  together. Well, this friend starts to call her, and her guys relays the message that his friend thinks she is cute. WTH?  I got weirded out by this! I guess said friend has a committed woman who is super young, playing Wife/Mommy and all that but he goes outside of their relationship to maintain happiness. RED FLAGS!!

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So, she had mentioned all this to me and I was like- HUH? People do this, yes, but not everyone. What is the point? I find this one hard to pinpoint because that is part of the zero-tolerance that my marriage lives by. (This went even before marriage- commitment is commitment.) 

Well, I was just curious as to why he told her friend said she was cute- it seems to me like a swapping of some sort was in question- ewww.. 

I guess that over the past weekend something happened and the topic of the friend was once again rehashed. The Guy went off on my Friend about how he was not marriage material and how any guy who says they want to be married to the same woman for 50+ years is a liar.  Guys like that don't exist. He was so rude to her, pushing her away and breaking her down. 

I was told all this today. My first take is that he is scared.  He is having feelings for my Friend and is pushing her away because he doesn't know how to handle it all. He knows that the open relationship is a hot trigger for my friend and is using it to his advantage. The problem is that he hurt her by the words he spewed at her and really cut into her self esteem. 

I told her that he is messed up and shame on him. If it were me, crazy would have been unleashed. I don't like guys who want to tell you how YOU feel, how they think THEY are or anything else for that matter. I would have told him that I was stopping at the damn store to pick up some Midol for his cranky ass. She just took it. Poor thing. 

I told her that she needs to realize that she is better than him and until she pushes him away, he is going to continue to use her for a door mat and God Damn it- for her not to dare be a place he wipes his dirty feet. I also told him that he goes back to her all the damn time because none of his other hoes will put up with his shit, but she does, so she is an easy target. 

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The biggest problem with this whole picture is, this guy here, he is almost 40 years old. I think I would be a little more sympathetic and even open minded had she told me he was in his mid twenties- right!

I just hope she can pick herself up and get herself out there, but I am worried, as a friend, that she is going to be blind to anyone who comes along because she is really hung up on the thoughts that he keeps coming back into her life because God is trying to tell her something.  I keep telling her that God is just trying to get her some. Period.

I think that I can kind of relate to her because I was one of those girls who had the on again/off again relationship that seemed to drag on forever.  We had a lot of road blocks because we were 14 when we started "dating" - and were each others first true loves.  The kicker was that our families were close. 

It lasted for far too long and went NO WHERE, every time.  I would be heart broken or pissed.  But I never let his sweet talking break me. I always kept myself out there and kept dating and if he came back during those times he was S O L.

It wasn't until right before Hubby that I met up with him, saw a side that disgusted me and left him at the bar around the corner from his house. We had a fight because he said he could NEVER be with me because of my Mom. He said he hated my Mom, his Mom hated her and his Step Dad did too.  I couldn't handle that and walked away, never looking back. 

Who knew he was onto something.. (shame on me)

But, while I loved him, he was my first true love and all that good stuff, I am SO glad I didn't end up as his Wife. I am one luck Bitch! I have a superb Hubby and couldn't ask for anything better. And look at my children- BAM! 

Life has a funny way of turning out. Hind sight always plays a big role, somewhere or another!

Hubby, I and our first born

I just hope that Mr. One liner, I am not Husband Material would get a clue that he has a great girl wanting him- not anyone but him, and the reality of it all is that his stubborn, selfish ass should be ALONE!

Ugh, Marriage Material.  When do guys get it- or does it just have to be the right person? 

Kind of interesting...

Until next week- that is a Marriage Material wrap! And by the way, you don't get to have your cake and eat it too! It doesn't work like that. That is the dumbest shit ever - why even be committed? 

Until Next Time...

~KEL~ 

 

Say Whatttt..Sunday...Gossip, Gossip, Gossip..about the Stars, of course!

This week I wanted to switch it up a little bit. I know everyone is all about the Oscar Buzzz.. well, honestly, I don't watch the Oscars. My reason is simple, The Walking Dead- duh!

But, while there is a lot of buzz, I won't be discussing, today at least.  Instead, I am just going to discuss some things in Hollywood and on TV that are interesting me.

That 70's Show, Married..

Well, for starters, did you hear that Ashton and Mila are finally engaged! C'mon Jackie and Kalso, took your L O N G enough! I am super excited about this, I think it is because I grew up on That 70's Show and watched them on the screen, even if they were actors, who knew it was an insight into the future?

Mila Kunis- Happily Engaged!- from People.com

If you see the picture above (which I snagged from People.com) - look at her face- she is so happy! Plus, she looks a little preggers. (sorry, just saying- her loose clothes and puffy face)- but Ashton did a good job with her bling bling.  Can't wait for them to walk down the isle!!!


How about the Bachelor, anyone?
Well, truth be told, I have not watched the Bachelor, I don't really think, ever. Honestly. I don't even know how it happened. I mean, I was sitting there one night, after getting my children to bed and BAM, there it was on the TV, playing and all I could do was WATCH.  So, now I seem to be hooked. WOW.
I have not followed closely, so I have no idea who all those ladies on the upcoming Reunion? show are, but I have watched, solidly, for 2 weeks now.
The HOT TOPIC seems to be Andi. I am glad she left. She was shady! Sorry, my thoughts. I think that she forgot that she was on TV and that this guy had/has a pool of women fighting for his attention. Her story kept changing too.  One minute she was riding on the fact that he talked about himself, next minute she was declaring that she doesn't really know him. I was confused and happy to see her go!
When it comes to the two ladies left, I don't see him with Nikki. She seems to young. Sorry, but she was almost immature to me. But, Clare seems to smile and pose for the cameras, like she is trying to be a breakout reality TV star.  I hope that my read on her is wrong, because it seems like they might be able to make it work, I just think she is looking at Juan Pueblo as a stepping stone into the industry. (again, just my take on it)

Juan Pueblo Galavis, Bachelor- People.com

Good Luck Juan Pueblo!


Its a Rossdale Son.. again..
It's another boy for Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani.  They welcomed baby #3 on Feb. 28th- Appolo Bowie Flynn. Congrats to them, for sure. Poor Gwen, I feel her pain, although my Girl Pack is at 2 and stable. It is tough with all of one sex but I am sure they are awesome parents. 
The article I read said that Bowie and Flynn are each of their mother's maiden names. I was a little thrown back with the double middle name- I think that is pretty common in Hollywood now a days, but this time, i get it - it has meaning and that rocks!

Gwen Stefani showing off Baby Bump- People.com

Enjoy- wonder if they will have baby #4? hmmm..
 
Real World - Ex-plosion
Because at this point, it is a self indulgence that I even tune in. I can't help myself. Again, another one of those shows that I honestly have not watched since, my senior year in high school. I can't stop watching it now. I am hooked. I tuned into the last episode and totally went into it thinking Cory is a douche-bag and ended up thinking that he is just hurt and a dude and that is how he wanted to deal with it, even if it wasn't kind. 

Real World Ex-Plosion cast- 2014 - from MTV.com

I feel for Jamie too though.  No one expects that to happen, unless your planning, and for Cory to berate her did SUCK! I am happy she "told" her story but wished she would be used it as a chance to inform America. I am assuming from the "after" show that she had an abortion or it was just a "scare" - but she could have used it as a teaching moment, if she had an abortion, use that time to say, look, it was not the right time for me and I would not have been able to properly care for another being and I chose the best option for me at this time in my life. I wish that people could shed some kind of positive light on the option that is out there. Instead it is always negative, and I know, I am still on the fence, but I think that EVERY situation is different. If you are a woman who has had multiple abortions, I lack sympathy for you. If you made a huge mistake and know that you are not ready for a baby, I give you props for being brave and unselfish for that baby and the world it could of potentially been brought into. I also believe that if you take the proper measure to ensure it does not happen again, you are a smart person, if a baby is not in your thoughts at that time of your life.

OK, get off your soapbox Kel!  I just had my moment, but other than that missing key, which was kept a secret by Jamie, I think that this show is fully of TV drama- but they do seem to be getting along better than expected...until next week, from the looks of it!
BAM!
 
Well, that is all I have for today!

Enjoy your Sunday... 

~KEL~ 

Blog break..um, wait..

I just found some stuff to share. Nothing *serious. .

Blog Makeover..dreaming of S P R I N G

Sorry everyone- had to change it up!  I am over the dramatic and moving away from snow and gloom and wishing/hoping/praying for Sunshine, blue skies and green grass- well maybe not the grass, this year at least, but a girl can dream.  So we are heavenly and happy and bright and cheery at Life at Gray Gables!
Enjoy!

~KEL~

T G I F F F F... (you fill in the F's!) - Oh Yea, February is OVER! C-ya...

Have you ever wanted something so bad? 

I feel like I have waited for this DAY all week, anybody with me? It didn't seem like it would EVER get here and it has been an exceptionally eventful day for sure.  Going out with a BANG. 

Friday, February 28th, 2014

March is upon us. (Actually I am blogging so late- and I will get to that- that it is officially March 1st!) 

I don't know about you but February has been a hmm..dingger in my opinion!  Cold, Snowy, Ice, Dry Skin, the Sickness (which won't leave...) and it just has seemed to drag on and on and on....

Today was no exception for my family.  Did you know.. 

                                    *that I have been to the Doctor's office 5 times since Thursday, 2/21.

                                    *that both my girls are down and out

I hate this sickness. Thursday, we headed to the doctor's for my 5yo's horrible cough, which turned into an upper respiratory infection.  They put her on antibiotics and she seemed to be on the mend.  But, here is the kicker, that was Thursday, she already had her scheduled wellness check for Kindergarten set for Monday, 2/24- so not only did we have to go in on Thursday, but again on Monday.  And let me tell you, that Kindergarten check is nothing short of military training! Ears, eyes, skills, shoe tying and peeing in a cup- which my Diva was NOT having! So, we had to take the cup home and bring it back. So Tuesday, after we got her to pee in her little sisters training potty and put it in the cup (ugh!) we ran BACK to the doctors for a drop off. 

Side note: OK, as a parent, when you see a certain, bold typed sign all around the office, taped to the door to enter and all that says that the office has had a Whooping Cough outbreak, are you freaked out? I am a Mom who is totally terrified that my girls will get this disease. (insert the controversial subject of VACCINATIONS here and my personal beliefs- Vaccinate your kids people- your only hurting them- but again, another topic for another time!)

So, we drop off the pee and make our 30 minute trip back to the other side of the frickin world, or so it seems. 

Wednesday, I get a phone call (at work) that my 2yo has the same kind of cough going on. Mind you, Monday evening when we got home my 2yo had a little, normal sounding cough at this point, but was doubled over with a stomach ache- so something was obviously going on at that point.  So, Momma is back to the doctors. She has fluid on her lungs and in her ear and we are introduced to the nebulizer. Oh Joy! 

Finally get home- and we had a stint at the pharmacy too, with one kid. My parents ended up keeping 5yo overnight. Which brings us to Thursday, get a phone call (at work because I have had a week and forgot my cell phone) to 5yo work up with red hives everywhere.  I am thinking, OK, heat rash.  We have been battling fevers. Well, my Mom thinks it is Measles- really? I call Doctors, I really didn't want to go back in for a rash.. So we agreed, Calamine bath with Hydrocortizon cream after. I used 1/2 a tube! True Story!

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So, that brings us to today, Friday.  I get a phone call from Hubby that the dots have multiplied and are now covering inside of hands, all of back and all the way up to her ears. Ugh!  So, appointment time. Our Doc. is out till Monday so we schedule with another Doc.  I am super aggravated at Hubby because I could've scheduled an 11am but heaven forbid he has to take them anywhere, let alone call the doctor. I am so frustrated.  (kind of still a heated topic for me.. weird!)

So, I had to get off work, drive to my old house, pick up rent, drive to gas station because my red light was on and poppin', stop off at bank for night deposit, run to my Parents to pick up my ladies, run to Doctors, to find out kiddo has Penicillin allergy like her Dad! We finally got home a little late and had to rush a breathing treatment on 2yo, rush back out of the house for a trip to the grocery store and of course, ended our evening with a shamrock shake from McDonald's. What a frickin' day! I guess the best part is, I was putting girls to bed, felt so tired, came in my room, laid on bed and crashed. Missed Hubby's calls (which phone was on ring) and text messages and ended up with kid in our bed and have no idea how that happened. Crazy!  I think exhaust-en is an understatement?

My Girls

Have you had a day like this recently or is it just me? I need a break! This darn sickness can move on now cause we have had more than our fill at this point. 

So, needless to say, I have waited so long for  you Friday, and wanted you so bad, I am so glad your here, but let's take it nice and slow to get to Monday, deal?

Thanks for letting me share!

Until next time...

~KEL~

Throwback Thursday- Flash Mob Style... What is the earliest childhood memory you have...and go..

What is your Earliest Childhood Memory?

Now, don't relieve events from those millions of pictures your Mom has in the old shoebox stuffed in the hall closet. (well, you probably only have millions if you were a first born, right!)

Try to remember, really remember your first memories. I mean, don't just see a picture, be part of the picture, look for that memory that you can smell your surroundings, see the details and relive the experience.

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The other day, I was sitting around discussing kids with my Hubby and I said that old cliche, "Remember what it was like to be a kid." Well, this simple statement seemed to light up a memory in his mind and resulted in 45 minutes of a walk down memory lane of an experience he had as a kid and how he could remember his room at a house he lived in from 1-2 years old. He could remember the carpet, the door that squeaked, the color of the walls, how his room was set up and what kinds of toys he had.  Then that question I was dreading was flipped onto me, "What is the earliest memory you have?" 

This is where I think.  It is so hard because I have pictures, tons and tons of pictures from when I was born, on up, and movie also! I have looked at those pictures a billion times, watched the old movies just as much as find myself teetering on the line of, is that a real memory or a picture memory? 

So, I just started pulling stuff, I remembered my dog, he was my first dog and I guess (not a memory for me) I begged for him and my Dad finally caved and we ended up with Cujo.  Obviously, I had nothing to do with naming said dog!

[Me with "Cujo" as a puppy]

[Me with "Cujo" getting bigger]

I remember riding my "Big Wheel" up and down the driveway and having my Dad's big red, ugly van (we're talking 80's here people) blocking the street. I had a cabbage patch Big Wheel and it had mint green wheels and I literally rode that thing until the wheels fell off!  I can remember just riding it and screaming and having a blast. The big problem I have, this was on the videos- so I am not sure how accurate my visions of the past really are, as I was under age 5 during this time.

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I have concrete memories of Kindergarten. I know those are real because there is not a picture or video to contradict my memory.  I remember my Teacher, Ms. Forker and my cubbie and the toys we played with and the kids and the Blue Carpet Square that I just had to have, luckily she had more than one because I know the boys always wanted blue ones too!

I remember playing in the pretend kitchen with the other girls, and having to always be the "Mom." 

So, for me, Kindergarten is my earliest, genuine, memory.  I know this because I can still smell the crayons!

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So, what is your earliest memory on this Throwback Thursday?  I'd love to hear from you!

Until next week...

~Kel~

 

It's Wacky Wednesday.. Everyone- Ready for some RANDOM-NESS?

Wacky Wednesday is here!

Are you ready? Well, let's get started. 

Its time to see what we can dig up on some random facts that we didn't/shouldn't know 

(or care about for that matter!)

 

Did you know?

~ Women need NINE 8-ounce glasses of water a day.

~ Men need TWELVE 8-ounce glasses of water a day.   

 And Coffee & Tea COUNT!

Bedtime is the BEST time to take your daily aspirin!

~When you get burned you should crack an egg and you won't get a scar. 

COMPLETE RANDOM-NESS!!! 

An Ostrich's egg is bigger than its brain!

Lightning strikes the earth about 8 million times a day.

Hippophobia is the fear of horses.  

Christmas trees have been sold in the U.S. since 1850.

Totally Disgusting!

On average, people swallow 1.5 liters of urine when swimming in a public pool.
  (now that, my friend, is GROSS!)

Have anything you want to share to the blog for next Wednesday? Feel free to email me @: kel.amstutz@gmail.com.  I would LOVE to hear from you and be able to add your own random facts to the page!

Until next week, watch out for "Pee Pools" - yuck!

~KEL~