IN OUR MEDIA-RICH, OVER-STIMULATING SOCIETY, IT'S HARD NOT TO BE EXHAUSTED. THE PRACTICE OF STILLNESS CAN BRING MORE MEANING AND FOCUS TO YOUR WRITER'S LIFE.
MORE CLARITY AND MEANING THROUGH STILLNESS
By: Kel AmstutzFriday, March 13, 2020
We live in a world that is noisier and busier than ever, right now. Social media, a nearly constant stream of notifications from our phones... the 24-hour news cycle (which right now is all about COVID-19), instant access to everyone through text messaging and messenger apps.
Recent studies are showing that, on average, Americans check their phones every 12 minutes (that is nearly 100 times per day!), and we are spending more than three hours each day staring at those tiny screens...
This sounds crazy, right? But, it's facts people. I have triple check those numbers, which are growing daily.
So, what does this mean?
Well, it means that it is harder than it has ever been to turn off your mind and just be still... be quiet.
But, without that much needed down time, it is absolutely impossible for you to be at your very best.
If you find yourself longing for a more peaceful and meaningful life... it you have a desire to unlock your maximum potential, but you just can't seem to figure out how to get to where you want to be... the answer might lie in that stillness.
In our media-rich, always-on, over-stimulated, over-scheduled, often-lonely society, it's harder than ever not to be exhausted - emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally. And, doing those great things you want to do... you feel like you need to do... well, there rare when you are just down right exhausted!
So... What can you do about it?
A few year ago, I discovered a disciplined practice, in one form or another, derived from all the greatest, wisest creatives, thinkers, and religious philosophers in our history - from the Stoics to the Buddhists, from Confucianism to Christianity.
It's an ancient art... of slowing things down and quieting the mind, so you can be still... and, in that stillness, "see" clearly...
Stillness is the practice of simply being.
The idea is rather simple, but it takes great discipline to achieve it.
I have found that the practice of Stillness come from routine and rituals. To dig deeper, you must fight temptations... and strengthen your soul from such temptations. This is the key to being about to be better at whatever and anything you do.
Think about it. Too often being still is confused with being idle or ambivalent. But, I've found that being still is actually a key skill on the path of self-mastery, discipline, and focus. Being still helps you stay on the path.
Stillness is what fuels creativity and inspires new and fresh ideas. It is the foundation for becoming the master of one's own life. Stillness makes space for presence and gratitude. It allows you to succeed at your main thing. It is... the key.
The key to being better... a better writer... a better human... a better parent... a better artist and helps unlock your full, true potential.
I am a little hesitate to "tell" you how to practice Stillness. It is something that I am still learning. It is the practice of just be yourself. But, perhaps that is the value I can bring to you... as someone on the same journey of learning to find Stillness, to find the focus to be present... to find clarity.
The techniques that I have found and use to practice my 20 minutes of Stillness each day come from tips and tricks I have read about, even blogged about previously in my posts. They are to:
- Set a Time Each Day. Schedule this time. I put my Stillness time on my calendar as an appointment to ensure that nothing else can invade that time slot. My time for Stillness is previous to me, it is a time that I schedule before I go to sleep at night, to quiet my soul and set my intentions, finding my clarity to ensure that I am able to keep the main thing... the main thing.
I end my day with my Stillness, after I have completed my habits... my journaling, my creative writing... my stretching.
I very briefly quiet my mind and find a few moments of Stillness before I lay my head on my pillow. Then, I am able to end my day with peace.
- Find a Place to Connect Your Mind, Body, and Spirit. To be truly still, you must be physically still, your mind must be quiet, and you must feel at ease with yourself and the world.
For me, that is the easiest to achieve when I am getting ready for bed. I simply get comfortable. I connect with my surroundings by using my Himalayan salt lamp, my calm oil simmering, surrounded by nothing but quiet. This allows my mind to become quiet just before I end my day. This has the wonderful effect of connecting my energy with the energy of the sleep that I am about to embark upon. This is my quiet spot that has the right vibe that I am seeking. The main thing for me is to be in a place where I am not interrupted.
For your Stillness practice, you just need to find a spot where you won't be interrupted, at a time when you can really focus and connect with yourself.
- Set a Time. At this point, some advocate setting aside 15 minutes a day. Early in my practice, I didn't have an extra 15 minutes, especially when my kids were younger. I started with just five minute stretches. That was enough to get me in my zone. Now a-days, I have some extra free time before I go to sleep, with my girls being a bit older and less needy and I can be still for 20 minutes. That is a good fit for me at this point in my life, but what is right for you will undoubtedly be different.
One factor to keep in mind... it is surprising how the perception of this time can change from day to day. Some days 20 minutes seems like forever, but on other days, it goes by almost too quickly.
I set a time to make sure I spend the intended amount of time in Stillness... and to make sure I don't get lost in being still and end up missing my bedtime altogether.
- Relax Your Body. As I noted above, I prefer to sit in my bedroom, closing my eyes, I have even incorporated crystals to help myself have a physical connect to Earth. You might prefer to sit in nature, or in a soft, comfortable chair with your eyes closed. To each their own. The most important thing is to be in a place where you can truly relax.
Relax your body deliberately. Pay attention to your muscle tension and it's release. Then, become physically and mentally quiet. If being still is difficult at first, try to engage in any mindless physical activity, like rocking in a chair or watching something in its natural motion- like a fire or perhaps running water.
To assist with the physical relaxation and mental quiet, I have used a recording of the ocean. Listening to the natural sounds has helped to aid in finding mental Stillness in me. Try falling rain, a thunderstorm... whatever helps you attain a state of relaxation.
- Quiet Your Mind. This will likely be the biggest of your challenges. It was for me. It is very common for me to achieve a moment of mental Stillness and then I have some random thought (or several...) and get off track. Don't worry about it when this happens. Just recognize it and then return to your Stillness. The more that you practice... the longer you will be able to hold your mind in a place of Stillness.
- Be Present. I don't mean just physically present. When I say, "Be Present," I mean be aware, mindful, in the moment. Don't think about the past regrets you might have. Don't think about your hopes and dreams in the future. Instead, collect your thoughts and be present - in the current moment. It is the most important time that you have. In fact, it is the only time you have.
- Learn to Focus You Mind and Feel the Moments (to Return). This might be the most helpful component of being still. What I am talking about here is learning to recall a "place or time of peace." To recall a mental picture of experience where you achieved a particularly vivid experience of peace and stillness.
For me, I go back to the time I spent lying on the beach in Oahu and being in a perfect state of Stillness as the sun beat down on me, warming my soul and the sound of the ocean surrounded my whole being.
These profound moments give you a way to bring peace and calm forward, during your Stillness practice, or at any time you need to, really.
I resisted Stillness for the longest time, sticking to my belief that being Still was just a waste of time. I was so wrong.
The busier, noisier, more hectic my life became, the most I realized how important it is that you make the time to just be still. It will help you rest better. It will help you stave off that dreadful burnout. It will help you focus on the things you want to achieve and help you put your best effort into whatever you are doing at any given moment.
Even if you can only start off with five minutes a day - DO IT!
You will soon see the difference it will make on your life and you will be so glad that you did.
With a Stillness practice, it will not matter how tough yesterday was, or how difficult today is looking to be. When you are at peace, full peace with yourself, you will find focus, clarity, and the meaning behind the tasks before you. And, everything you do will be that much easier, that much better, that much more joyful... because of it!
