Should you...or shouldn't you : that is the question

We all have faced the Great Big Decisions Ahead signs within our lives.  Some decisions are good, great even.  But, we have all made bad decisions.  

What do we do when we make a bad decision?  

Move on, right. We learn from those bad decisions, we pick ourselves back up and try again. 

Sometimes we make irrational decisions, impulsive, which lead us astray.  Could a bit of procrastination help us to make better decisions? 

Bad decisions can come from not seeing the WHOLE picture.  If you are not bouncing your path in front of others, paying attention, or seeing the road that lies ahead, it could leave to a blind spot. 

So, the art of making is decision is what you would call "practical science."  Basically, you find out how to make the decisions through complicated feats of the mind.  If we took some time, procrastinate, we would make better decisions by observations of the problem that lies ahead and how we respond and those around us respond.  If we make a fast decision to important, life changing circumstances, we can end up with regret, remorse and even a negative attitude.

But, what happens when we do nothing for a tiny amount of time: we give our brains an opportunity to process and execute.  We can look at our situation and decide our next action. 

Many things which cannot be overcome when they stand together yield themselves up when taken little by little.

I have faced a few tough decisions in the past two months. Life changing decisions.  I have been opened and honest about my work situation.  I was demoted to part-time with company set backs and it has been devastating to say the least.  I was an equal earner in my household, able to hold us above water in an event that something happened to my Hubby's job and then: BAM!  I barely bring home half. 

This brought on a more determined ME.  I started hunting for a career.  I wanted more than what I have now, but with this has brought on sacrifices that are, to be frank, heart wrenching!  I must go from working at home, being here for my kids... to working outside of the home, having less-than-flexible hours and having to depend on others. 

I have been marketing myself, successfully.  I could not be more proud. I have been on several interviews. I have done well, and have been offered four positions. The turmoil comes from making the decisions to accept or decline. That is a difficult road to walk, one that I am grateful for, but it does not make it any easier. 

Decision #1: I had a great offer on the table a week ago, big money, a position close to home, long term career type position. I had to think, I had to talk it through, I had to make a decision.  

Decision #2: I had another position on the table, less money, more stability, an opportunity to take back some time I had vested, a great retirement plan and really good benefits. 

The heat was ON!

I feel blessed, that needs to be said. I know that it is not easy to find a job in Ohio right now. I see others struggling. Especially in the Admin. field. I have found some gems and acted. 

I had the interview with Decision #2 and thought I failed miserably, and that is no lie. The interview was a series of questions and I honestly did not leave feeling confident. Especially when the gentleman walking me out posed the comment of continuing to look through this entity for positions due to a lot of retirements taking place. EEK!  

After this interview, it was my Mom who said that I probably got the job, because it is usually the ones that you don't think you did well on that you are most impressive.

Lone Behold...Moms know everything!

So, I pose to you this question...What would you do?

I took my time in my decision making.  

I made a list. 

A very impressive list of my Pros and Cons, naturally! 

And here is where you can see what made my decision for me!  I took the time to really think it through, to talk to my family, to figure out what is truly important to me! (My Kids! My Hubby! My Family!) 

I am excited to move into this new position, this new role and a little excited to be able to get out of the house, which is incredibly scary, and giving me intense anxiety.  

I am fortunate to have my family, who are willing to be here for the girls and able to work with us to work this all out! 

Making a decision is nothing short of exhausting! 

We are moving onto another chapter in our lives. It is scary, but with the help of understanding if I should...or shouldn't, I was able to make an educated decision, one that has left me feeling peaceful, excited and eager to find my way. It will be complicated, tough and stressful, that much I am sure of, but with the help of my supportive family, I think it will be a step in the right direction for a long term career, leading to...hopefully: Retirement!  (if I don't croak first!)

To happy decisions, well thought out plans and taking the road less traveled!

[Personal Post] May 3rd...a special day

I would love to take a post here and dedicate it to my Hubby, who is having a Big #36th Birthday today.  I can not believe that I have had the honor of sharing 14 of your birthdays with you in our lifetime together so far and want to let you know how much you mean to me. 

Have you ever met someone and knew they were the one for you. It sounds so silly, especially to think back on our Love Story, but in the first moment that I saw you, I knew that you were the one for me. 

It was a long wait until we would meet, and as the saying goes...First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the babies in the baby carriage!

Fast forward...and here we are, celebrating your 36th birthday on this amazing, gorgeous Sunday, with 80 degree weather, which we have not seen since last year, and the sun shining from the heavens!

I am so thankful for you, for being by my side through out the years. I am still, as much, if not more, in love with you today than I was so many years ago. We have created life together and worked hard and keeping it safe and sound and steady.  It has not always been easy, the path has definitely been a weeded one with new career paths, houses, children, cars, bills and businesses, but we are still standing, taller, happier and more in love than we could have ever imagined. 

Today, I hope you had a great day, with presents, cake and family. We all love you so much and want this to be the most special day for you to show how much we care!

Happy Birthday Baby.  You are my world and I am so glad that I get to be your Co-Pilot in this life, you best friend in this world and your Wifey in this love.  

To our co-Hobby and all that life and the future brings our way and 36 more years to come!

Love~

Day 10...I wish this dream would end

I have put down this writing challenge for a few days. 

Yes, I am still writing, I just left this one behind for a few days to get my mind cleared out and get back on track!  

Sometimes, that is needed. 

Are we ready to pick it back up? 

We are going to have our Challenge Words M-F and break on Saturday and Sundays to regroup- due to the fact that I have 130 days worth of Writing Challenge words.  

Are we excited? 

Day 10- Writing Challenge Word of the Day:

It has been a blessing in disguise that I have been able to see, first hand, how solitude and boredom manifests within a soul.  Due to the fact that I have nothing but time, I have the time to write, to document what is happening around me, within me. Our world is not as it once was, all within ten days or so. I am working hard to try to keep a system on what day it is, whether it is day or night and trying to figure out time, since I failed to wear my watch prior to the panic and the isolation.  If I could go back above ground, I would be sure to grab my watch, along with a book, as I have read ten of the fifteen that I decided, a week before we would enter our underground safe haven, to add to our supplies. Now, I wish I had been stocking up on books, as I had been on general supplies, as it is the solitude that is sure to do me in. 

We have made the best of our time trying to occupy ourselves with cards, playing with the girls, cleaning and cooking, but our supplies are separated into rations, so even cooking is moderate.  My Mom is idle, or as idle as she can be. We were working on learning knitting and crocheting, which has been keeping her mind, and hands steady. That can be said about my Grandma also. She has doily's all around the safe haven that are beautiful and intricate. 

I steady my own self with writing, or cuddling my girls, who have been adjusting fine with lack of TV or cable.  I was smart enough to bring a piano down for them, as it has been helping with keeping the music alive around us and keeping spirits a bit brighter than they might be. 

The men busy themselves with talk of dreams for when we get out of here, although, I can see it in everyone's face that there is fear we might never, again.  

I have tried to stay positive, but this last week has been brutal on everyone. We are tired, but rested. We are busy in the mind without actual duties. We are running out of hope, but we all knew that this could happen. We all knew that we could be held underground for a time. 

Resources are still strong, as Johnie and I had calculated, time and time again, how much, what rations, and how to make this work.  This piece made me feel good. We had held up our end, and because of our calculations, our dedication to the unknown, we are all still alive. 

I am eager, however, to adventure back to the surface. After talking, quietly to Johnie, I learned that my Dad, his own and himself are planning to try to re-dig the tunnel to the surface in a few weeks time. We are going to hole up down here for a few more weeks, a month total, and see if anything above has changed. 

Those images of what we left behind chase me, regularly.  I feel as if I have died. It sounds ridiculous, unless you were in my own shoes. I am here, with my family, and feel tremendously thankful for this, but at the same token, I feel so alone, as if the realms of reality have shifted and I am stuck in some other dimension, much like I feel would happen in death. But, I am not dead. I am very much alive.  I am working hard to keep myself, and my family alive, which was our goal, Johnie and me, right? 

The loneliness brings thoughts to the forefront of my girls, living out the rest of their lives, growing old, underground. Growing up with the light of the sun. I have to refrain from these thoughts, as they bring on a great depression. How meaningless the sun may seem, how much we have taken that one bright light for granted. 

It is late. I am trying to keep the girls on a schedule, as best I can. I try to keep everyone on a schedule so that we all sleep, rest.  I don't know what is to come. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that for tonight, as I am getting ready to tuck myself in, cozy in the blankets of the air mattress that I share with my husband, the man that I have, that I get to hold and love, no matter what happens next, I am safe. We have food and water for tomorrow. We have a dry place to lay our heads and we are together as a family. I can not be greedy. I can not ask God for more.  I am thankful for what I have in this moment, even if the not knowing what is happening on the surface is slowly killing me.  I will make sure that my girls survive this, if it takes all I have. 

Until tomorrow...I bid you farewell. 

------------------------------------------

The depression is starting to come out in Kasey, that we can see. 

I am writing this in her perspective, as her eyes only. I feel that I am gaining more emotion by doing so. She is my main character, feeling the burdens that this new world has brought forth onto her and dealing with taking on the responsibility to tell everyone's story. 

Stop on by tomorrow for Day 11- and an interesting word of the day. It might be a challenge to fit this one into your story scheme but I have faith in us all! 

~Kelley

Confessions: from a Six Year Olds' Soccer MOM

Like so many Moms out there, I have joined the "CLUB" of Soccer Moms and boy, have I been enlightened! 

Let's start off by a little background, shall we?   So, a lovely BRIGHT ORANGE form comes home from school back in January with big letters stating that it is:

Time to sign your student up for Soccer. 

I mean, my kid was jumping up and down with excitement! It was time for Soccer to enter our world. Truth be told, Mom was pretty excited too!  We wrote out the check, filled out the form, crossed all our T's and mailed it out to the organization with hopes of starting soccer in late March, early April. 

Then, it was silence for a few months.  Still, my kid had some chatter about soccer here and there, but it was a mute subject for the most part. 

But that all changed in Mid-March when the phone calls started that they were looking for a coach for our daughters team.  Ut oh...  Of course, my Hubby would have done coaching in a heartbeat, if he did not work nights!  And, Mom is a cheer-section only and given the fact that I know nothing...let me reiterate...NOTHING...about Soccer, it was a fat chance for me!

Word started traveling home from school about other kids, mostly the boys, starting soccer and then came the question for this Mom, "Will we have a team?"

Hail to one Dad who stepped up to the plate.   He was honest...he knew nothing about Soccer, other than the fact that his daughter was on the team. 

Here we go...

Practice was the very next day after I received this phone call. Off to the happy face store we went to pick out shorts, shin guards and shoes. 

That next day...it was windy...cold...but we, (as in myself and my four year old) packed up the kid, in her newly acquired ensemble and we have been going strong ever since. 

Game one followed the day after practice and it was painful to watch, as our six year olds, who knew nothing and were one practice in, got stomped. 

Game two followed bright and early Saturday morning and was another painful rendition of what is supposed to be soccer, fully equipped with tears...on the field...and yes, my kid contributed to those tears...and not much else! 

Practice didn't happen the week following, which was a disappointment.

Then came a COLD...COLD game. I mean, fleece blankets were not even helping the frostbite! 

Yes, we lost again!

Suddenly, something incredible happened following that game. It was still a bright and early Saturday...cold, just as cold as the last game played...and the wind was relentless.  

Our kids went out there, excited! 

The coaches were in the game...Pep talks were happening...names were being called for guidance...and...to our surprise...lots of cheering was happening as our girls WON, 5-0.  

Wait...What?  What had just happened?  

My kid was super into the game, finding her spot in Defense.  I think the Coach is learning what works for the girls and the Asst. Coach was all in. It was great to see the sheer excitement on the girls faces....They were having FUN!

So, we froze our butts off...but it has been worth it.  

As a Mom, I can't write this stuff...these new life experiences...teamwork...that has come with our oldest daughter joining Soccer.  To say that I am proud, is an understatement.  I am seeing changes within my girl that are amazing. She is learning to have a back bone, which is a good thing to have in life.  She is having fun, loving soccer and working on helping to keep that ball AWAY from her goalie!

So, I have been officially  introduced to the Soccer Mom life.  I am hoping it lasts for a bit of time and so proud of my girl for getting out there and NOT GIVING UP...even when they were losing every day- I mean...we are talking ZERO...

Our lives are busier...we are a little more worn out...it takes us a little bit to get moving in the mornings for school after soccer, but I think we are better for it! I am embracing this craziness and this time with my kids. We are rooting on our girl as a family- Nana and Papa are there at every game too! 

Go Jets!

~Kel

Off the AIR.... (Saturday, 4/18/2015)

Join me tomorrow for 

regularly scheduled posts!

and

Thanks all!

 

Day Two...How I MISS You

Another writing day challenge WORD is ready for all the writers who are BRAVE enough to challenge their skills!

Writing Challenge WORD OF THE DAY:

DAY #9

Tooth/Teeth

Day 2-Underground

I feel into a sleepless slumber as soon as my exhausted head hit the pillow on the comfy air-mattress. It was early when I dozed off after having a day to settle myself in our new surroundings. It was a bit more tight down here than it had been in the basement, but we were all adjusting well.  The air was thicker down here, as we were twelve people sharing the same space within maybe five hundred square feet of safe shelter. 

The girls were settled by my side and Johnie was settled next to theirs. Our family was settled, which had not been a word spoken in nearly six, seven days. We had two working watches which let us all know what time of day it was and if it was day or night at present. We were embarking on day two and it was time for me to stop my mopping and perk up, accepting the circumstances which I could not change.  This was the way it was to be and the sooner I accepted this monumental fact, the sooner that I could join in on the fun that was being had by the rest of the family, Johnie included. 

I scrambled to my feet from the floor mattress and gathered my things to finally get a chance to take a nice, somewhat hot, shower. All the water was recycled into a tank and filtered by the pump and the wall mount tank, also run by our pocket of gas. It was awkward at first, getting used to my new bathroom surrounding. I managed just fine, showering off the filth that had settled over the days past. I was drying off when I first looked in the mirror. The person looking back out at me was not meat all. This woman was tired. Skinny. To skinny and had dark circle under her eyes and her skin was to yellow. I also shrieked at the horror of that reflection. 

It was only then that I noticed my teeth and the disgusting plague that had formed over the past seven days. I had been prepared here as well, pulling open the vanity drawer to find an extra toothbrush, well fifteen of them anyways. I started brushing, brushing, brushing until I felt I could no longer. I spit, rinse, spit again until I was satisfied that I had cleaned my mouth. 

I finished, feeling refreshed, feeling better. I felt somehow reborn, all with cleaning off the excess rubble, the excess dirt of the life I had once lived. My mind was somehow more positive. It was a new day. I felt it energizing our new world. 

I met some of the family in the common area.  Boredom had yet to set in, but I could see that it would in the days to come, the months that would follow.  I needed a few minutes to myself before words were spoken from my mouth. I needed to stop and thank the heavens for keeping my family, all that were here and whoever was still out there safe, healthy and alive. I knew I would be thankful for these reasons for more in the time that came, but for today, I was thankful, truly thankful for my life, for our lives. It was almost a bittersweet moment and as off guard as it had caught me, I could not help but wonder for how long this new outlook would survive. 

The day turned to afternoon. The time spent inside, spent in here, was close and uncomfortable. The girls were adjusting as if it were wintertime and the cold was keeping them hostage inside the warm house we kept, but I was losing sight of reality by dinner time. I missed my now none-working-phone, I missed my internet, my emails. I missed leaving the house and escaping to the outdoors, or running that errand that I know I used to dread, to the grocery store. My bright day was turning cloudy and I knew the rain would start to fall soon, whether I could physically see it or not. 

By night, as our clocks informed us, I had picked up some knitting needles and was busing myself, along with my Mom and Grandma, at making, perhaps a dishcloth. I was once again thankful for my family, which was a relief as far as I could see.  We were occupying our minds. The girls were playing with Johnie, running all around. Day two was unwinding and I was mental drained by the highs and lows I was internally experiencing. Tomorrow, I would awake, refreshed and try to fight off the conflicts with a stick and focus solely on the good that could come out of this, if it was possible. 

We were still surviving.