Anniversary time..so of course, let's do a QUIZ...duh.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, right!
It gets a bad rap, marriage, because most people are really bad at it. That is not Marriage's fault, per say, is it? I think it is the couples' fault for either being immature and/or not smart enough to manage Marriage.
It is hard to think of vowing your love for years down the road in one single moment. Who can do that? Make promises 10 years down the road to the partner that stands before them. Would they even be the same in that amount of time? But isn't that the point? I mean life is full of uncertainty. We never know where we will be in a year, let alone ten, right!
So what if you can't always keep your promises? I mean, as long as your are being the best, most amazing life partner, doesn't that make up for an unkempt promise?
Here I stand, eight long years later, by my best friends side, still. I love my Husband with all I have. I promised him forever, the good, the bad and the ugly. All three have shown their face, too, by the way and guess what? We are still standing, still falling in love with one another everyday and still working at our marriage.
Also, it does NOT stay the same. We have changed individually, we have changed together, we have changed parts of our lives and we aren't done yet!
So we are about to head out to dinner and remember why we fell in love, how we started our journey so long ago and I thought what would not be a better way to remember....than to take a quiz?
So, honestly answering these questions:
1) Why do you love me?
I know, sounds loaded, right! This could go two ways, and I am hoping for the better of the two! People seem to feel that this is a question that doesn't especially need answering. Most will say we love others' simply because we love them- which is a horrible answer! All people need to know exactly why it is that they love the people they love.
Loving someone is a very selfish act- it's OK! You love the person you love for what that person does for you and how he/she makes you feel.
We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we aren't able to exactly define the parameters to our love, then we're likely to struggle later on once the initial intensity dies down. If your partner can't answer why he/she loves you, it can cause uncertainty down the road.
To my Hubby, why I love you- you are amazing. You make sure that our family always has what it needs, you try hard to make us happy, you try to make the bed without being asked, you fix my car to make sure I am safe, you tell me to be careful when I leave, you listen to me go on and on and on...You look at me as if I am the only person in the world, you look into my eyes and I can feel your love for me.
2) Why did you want to spend the rest of your life with me?
"Because I love you" is not a good answer here. Life is a journey- one that is best not traveled entirely alone. However, not everyone has the same destination in mind. Wanting to take different pit stops along the route is one thing. Wanting different things out of life is another entirely.
Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he/she hoped to share with you. It is these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special.
To my Hubby, I wanted to spend my life with you because I could see it no other way. I knew from the moment i saw you, at age 14, that you were the one. We started to "date" and I knew that I could not be away from you. You held my entire heart and without you by myside I was so lonely. You were my best friend and the person that I wanted by my side to share this life with and all that it unfolded.
3) Will you do your best to continue to keep the romance alive?
Keeping the romance alive is not an easy task. Yes, it’s all mental, but keeping interest for such a long time is difficult. It takes a lot of work and creativity. It takes the other person regularly trying to please and impress you, which in itself becomes increasingly difficult with each new year.
Romantic love cannot survive on its own; both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?
To my Hubby, it has been eight years and I feel that if anything, we are like a fine wine and just keep getting better with age. Although we do have obstacles that come in our way and keep getting bigger, we still manage to try to find intimacy and find ways to spend time, just the two of us. I know that with work schedules and life in general, we still manage to connect and love and find our way and will continue to do so for years to come, as it is a vital part of our growth and our joining as a solid team.
4. Will you continue to grow with me, and not away from me?
We may not know exactly where our lives will take us and what we will learn — who we will become — along the way, but we can make a conscious effort to grow closer together and not apart.
Most people grow apart over the years because they feel like they've accomplished everything in their relationships that needs accomplishing.
This is one main reason marriages end up being so horrible — people think that there is no greater peak to climb than the one their relationship is already resting on. Marriage shouldn't be the end, it should be the beginning.
We have learned throughout our marriage that it is easy to pull away from one another. Shift work makes life together the most difficult. One is going to bed when one is getting up. It is awkward and lonely, but we do not let it kill our love. As each year passes, we still find ways to come together. I want to grow old with you and work so very hard to make sure that this is our fate!
5. Will you stick through the rough times?
The good times are a piece of cake. The difficult times, however, will destroy your relationship if you allow them to. There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. It’s a decision that, if made, is only made once. You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not.
If you decide you’re going to stick with this person then you can’t allow any tragedy or outside force to shake that decision. This is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives — or, as it often turns out, fail to make decisively. Has your lover made the decision? Have you?
Rough times happen. It is easy to say that it's over but as we have learned, it is harder to actually walk away. A fight is just that. It is a moment when things are out of order. We have always found a way to put it back and after that year we have even learned, or begun to learn, how to put the pieces back together.
6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?
The key to a successful marriage is taming your ego. No matter how competitive we are, sometimes you just need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress just aren't worth it.
What you need to understand is that 99 percent of arguments aren’t arguments over fact, but rather over opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. Sometimes you just have to let things be.
We still have not mastered this. I tend to shut my mouth and go timid. Let's call this a work in progress. ;)
7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?
Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great partner? Easy. You just decide you’re going to be. That’s it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a decision and then action.
It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved — just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.
Not just financially, but mentally. Maybe even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged.
Will your partner carry you when you can’t walk?
Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were and the start of a new you. Sure, being in a serious relationship does require a person to change in many ways.
Will your partner take care of him or herself by eating healthy and exercising? Will your partner get regular checkups and take vitamins? This may sound silly, but I've seen what letting yourself go can do to a marriage.
You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.
Life has a lot to offer. And if you’re anything like me, you have a very large appetite. We want everything life has to offer, and then some. The problem is we don’t have enough time to have it all; our lives are too short. We can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas.
The beauty of marriage is that it can be used as a base to build the rest of your life on. Your partner should be just that: your partner. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.
You have proved this time and time again, as have I. Our family is the most important thing to both of us and that makes our life that much better. Our goals are the same. Raising those beautiful girls, right!
8. Will you be a great parent?
Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great partner? Easy. You just decide you’re going to be. That’s it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a decision and then action.
Some things don’t need too much thinking involved. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be. Will your lover do the same and be a great role model for your children?
You are a great parent, I think that sometimes it is just forgotten that they are still very young kids. It is my fault as well as yours and something that we do not see eye to eye on, but we work on this and try to find the right thing for our children.
9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?
People not only want, but need to hear it. We need to be reminded you love us because we know that love doesn't always last forever. We want to hear the words and then have that reassurement reinforced with actions showing how much you love us.
It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved — just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.
I am sure that this is annoying, but sometimes I am lonely, sometimes I am cross and sometimes I just need you to come to me, hug me and tell me I am beautiful. (Im crazy)
10. Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?
Sparks don’t spark on their own. Think about how a lighter works. You have a spark that lights the fuel, which creates a flame. But how does that spark, spark? You have to create a force that will result in the energy creating a spark.
Just the same, you can’t expect sparks to keep flying if you’re not trying. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, then you need to find someone willing to devote the necessary energy.
Everything get's better with age!
11. Will you support me if I can’t support myself?
Not just financially, but mentally. Maybe even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged.
Will your partner carry you when you can’t walk?
Will your partner support you when you’re weak at the knees?
Will your partner carry the family you've created until you regain your strength?
Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?
Will your partner carry the family you've created until you regain your strength?
Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?
I would fight the greatest battle for you. I know you would do the same. Team work.
12. Will you promise to continue to pursue your personal goals and dreams?
Yet, there’s a part of us we can never, under any circumstance, let go of. The dreams, wants and hopes we have — our personal goals — must stay alive.
When we lose them, we lose ourselves and inevitably lose the person we love. Marriage isn’t just an “us.” It’s also a you and him/her. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is necessary.
I try to never lose hope for us. Dream team. I know that our work together is not done. I know that we have a love for working for ourselves, it is a shared interest and something that we were really good at. It is something that I know one day we will achieve.
13. Will you not allow yourself to let go?
Moreover, I've seen how not maintaining your health can make the lives of those closest to you incredibly difficult.
Yes, your family should take care of you when you need to be taken care of — but it’s your responsibility first and foremost to take care of yourself. No people should become a burden to those they love.
Times get tough for us and I fear that we both will sacrifice ourselves for our kids. I love you no matter what but I want you to be with me for a long time. I also need to practice what I preach!!
14. If I’m the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?
Will your partner hold your hand when you’re too weak to hold it back? Will your partner kiss your forehead and tell you he or she loves you, that you made life worth living? That, because of you, life made sense? Will your partner be there for your last breath, when you find yourself pressed betwixt fear and content?
No one should leave this world alone. It’s said that we leave it the way we come into it, but even when we come into it, there’s someone there to hold us. I understand most people don’t like to think about death, but seeing as it’s an inevitability, it’s better to plan ahead.
I speak of death as if it is knocking at my door. I want to be here to watch my girls grow up, I pray for it, but if it is not in the cards for me, I hope that you can survive my little ladies. They are the light of my life, one that I feel that I take for granted. I don't want to be alone when I dis-send to the next chapter and I hope that you will hold my hand, whisper I love you's to me and live the rest of your life to the fullest in my honor.
15. Can you promise me that if my time is cut short, you’ll continue to live on for the both of us?
You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.
That your partner will continue to do great things, continue to be happy, and — if you have children — continue to love your children and guide them through life.
The death of a loved one can ruin you. It can break you in ways that make full-recovery
impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?
impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?
To my Hubby,
You are my everything. I am actually sad that we did not start our adventure at the tender age of 14, when I first saw you. I swear I knew you were the one, even if I didn't really know. The fate that brought us together was not a coincidence, it was from a higher power and one that I will forever be grateful for.
As we grow, as we change and our life evolves, I want to say Thank you. Thank you for this life. Thank you for the ups and downs- all of which I have grown to be the person who I am today. Thank you for our two beautiful daughters, who have forever changed my world. Thank you for the bigger house and the country, the clean air that has purified my soul and allowed me to look at the world in a completely different perspective.
As we grow, as we change and our life evolves, I want to say Thank you. Thank you for this life. Thank you for the ups and downs- all of which I have grown to be the person who I am today. Thank you for our two beautiful daughters, who have forever changed my world. Thank you for the bigger house and the country, the clean air that has purified my soul and allowed me to look at the world in a completely different perspective.
At the end of the day, I am more in love with you as the time passes. We might be living in two realms right now with work, but we connect, we love and we share. I miss you terribly, I love you more and I want you by my side.
Happy 8th Anniversary. Happy 12 years together total and Happy Life . I am truly blessed by the gifts I have been given from God and will continue to try to not take these gifts for granted.
You are my world and I love you more than I would ever be able to share. Happy Anniversary and here is to 8 more and then some! (Red Velvet Cupcakes have already sealed the deal!)
You are my world and I love you more than I would ever be able to share. Happy Anniversary and here is to 8 more and then some! (Red Velvet Cupcakes have already sealed the deal!)
~Kel
