This is not an easy topic. I watch 16 and Pregnant- taking notes is what I say. I can imagine what it would be like be a teen Mom and I don't envy girls who have to take on this responsibility. I am an old Mom and I still have my days where I want to curl into a ball and cry...and I am an adult!
So, I think that as a Parent, I can only hope for an open relationship with my girls. When sex becomes a hot topic, birth control will not be an issue. I also want to make sure they are Educated and I might even make them watch those first episodes of 16 and Pregnant. (Not Teen Mom - those girls glorify the situation and MTV pays their asses! Yes, I still watch though!)
If a pregnancy is in our future with a teen daughter, than we calmly, rationally handle whatever path our daughter wants to move on. If she choose life, then we stress the importance of responsibility of herself and her child. I will NOT be hands off but I think that even at 3 and 5 they understand that Mom is past raising babies!
If she is for a Termination of the Pregnancy, then that is her decision as well and I will support that decision and be by her side to hold her hand and stress to her the pros of that choice at this time.
As for adoption, I am on the fence. I am really into the Family Tree and knowing your roots and I just think that Adoption is like an invisible road block to keeping your limbs of the tree growing. I know that I could get some backlash from this, but I just feel like it would be incredibly hard to give up a child, always knowing that they are out there...somewhere...just not with you. I kind of think that Termination is not the answer either, but at least with termination you can pray to God for forgiveness and hope that that child will come back to you someday when it will have a chance. I think the best option is NOT GET PREGNANT before you are ready to be a Parent!I will not be a Parent that sways her in any which direction but I think that Education about what to expect and not expect need to be a strong reality check!
This situation will be handled with my Hubby and we will co-parent the situation. I think that he might be quick to go to the irrational side of things, but I will try to remain grounded and understand that this is bigger than just a Pregnancy, this is something that our daughter is going through and it is scary and life changing. I think that is very important, to not lose sight or blame or be negative. That could leave a lasting impression on not only your Daughter but the baby in question.
The topic is hard because I could say this now- with my 3 and 5 year old girls- but what happens when the reality of a 16- 17 something comes to us with this news? I can only hope that I am able to educate them as much as I can to give them a fair shot at life- at an education and being able to enjoy travel, living, a spouse before an introduction of a HUGE responsibility. Babies change everything, after all and this is so whether you are 16, 17 or 27... It doesn't change, I promise!
On a side note, I am an avid watcher of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom and I have loved each and every one of those girls and hated them at the same time! I love Catelynn and Tyler and am so emotional about their adoption journey with Carly. I see why they did what they did, watched their struggles - I mean when they were in the hospital saying Good bye broke my heart- literally! And to think that those two would have the greatest bond and will be the BEST parents! I think this is why I am on the fence so much about Adoption. I have watched Chelsea, a spoiled brat go from being a co-dependent on Daddy with a baby, to a Mom, one that I respect. I think that she lives for Aubrey and has worked hard to show her that she is not going to be full of excuses in life.
I have watched Janelle walk away from her adorable Jace, only to have another baby and still not really "get it"! I can see her walking away from this new baby just as easily. I feel for Barbara, because yes, she is an annoying person but she has raised Janelle's kid since birth, whether Janelle wants to look past her own guilt or not.
Then there is Maci and Bentley who are just adorable and Maci portrays a really Good Mom. She is not letting her teen pregnancy stop her from getting her education, which I think is good for Bentley to see.
I think that Kale has a lot to learn still. She is trying to Co Parent - but I think that she shows how hard the struggles can be, even when you move on. It is not easy, especially when you are not with the person you are parenting with.
I think that the show shows a lot of the struggles, but it also shows the girls with new cars and new homes ALL the time- which is glorifying the situation in my personal opinion.
I think that 16 and pregnant show the raw emotion of dealing with the pregnancy and the boyfriends and the hormones and the struggles.
I will make my girls sit down and watch hours of it as birth control! LOL
Totally just kidding, but I think that it starts with Education and I am sticking to that. I will not be afraid of Sex or talking about Sex, it is important and needs to start in the home. If the girls feel comfortable discussing it, it can be monitored better and birth control can be supplied to ensure that whatever their overall decisions are, they are protected.
That is my story and I am STICKING to it!
That is all for now! Have a GREAT Tuesday! (it's going to be a LONG week!)
~Kel
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