The way time flies...
I think that it is very important to remind all the new Mom's out there that are struggling with sleep, fussy babies and the reality of their new role to remember that the work and time they are putting in now is not permanent. The late night feedings are going to end, the party in the crib at 3 a.m. will go to, the need of a Mom to kiss a boo boo or cuddle or pour more milk will be followed with "I can do it myself" and it happens fast! I saw this and wanted to share with my readers.
It is called:
The Last Time
From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same
You might long for the person you were before
When you had freedom and time
And nothing in particular to worry about
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before
And days will run into days that are exactly the same
Full of feedings and burping
Nappy changes and crying
Whining and fighting
Naps or a lack of naps
It might seem like a never-ending cycle
But don’t forget….
There is a last time for everything
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down
And never pick them up that way again
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone
They will hold your hand to cross the road
Then never reach for it again
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions
Then never sing them that song again
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.
The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realize.
So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.
I can relate to what the writer is feeling. I was wise when I had my second child, I was able to remain patient as I stayed up, hours on end, with a restless little girl. I would rock and rock and rock until she fell asleep in my arms, knowing that this was the last child that I would rock in my arms to sleep. I still take moments to "help" her do little things, like eat, brush her teeth and get dressed, but even these things are fading off into the distance as she is gaining more and more independence. It is hard, as a Mom, to let go. It is hard to stay patient when you want to scream because your children are crying as if they are infants and not letting you in on what the problems are- but you need to remember that in these moments, these are the little moments when you are still needed, because soon enough you won't be. I am unlike anyone else in the world, my life is busy. (understatement) But, I try so hard to take a few minutes with my girls, to enjoy them, to laugh with them, watch them and remember this day or moment or time. It was a flash and I already sent one off to Kindergarten and I know it will be one more flash before my second follows. I will baby my last baby a little more, with looks of annoyance from my Hubby all along the way, if only he knew what I knew. But, I am a Mom. It is different, having carried this being within myself for almost nine months and bonding with this new baby morning, noon and night. My kids are my world and my expectations as they grow are to grow with them. I will be a positive force in their lives and help them, talk to them and be a parent but also be a friend. I want to know what my kids are up to without judging them. I want to be able to listen to their adventures without putting my comments into the conversations. I want them to be opened and honest with me and their Dad and feel confident that we are here, no matter what. I think that deep down, every parent has this expectation when embarking on parenthood. I think it gets lost somehow, forgotten what it is like to be a kid, a pre-teen, a teenager and a young adult. I don't want to forget. I want to, in a sense, live these years with them, not as a unknowing parent.
As my Kindergartner left for school this morning, I realized that this is my homework. I need to not lose focus on my expectations of myself as a Parent. I have two daughters, after all. I will always remember the late nights, the frustrations that I once had and feel bad that I was even allowing myself to feel these emotions because today, with my 5 and 3 year old, I would give anything to get those little slices of heaven back, to have those moments in the dark with me and my baby and the silence of the house around us.
It goes fast, so instead of being frustrated, angry or regretful, be grateful. You get these special moments, these everlasting memories that are only you and your child's. That is something that will be with you until you die.
~Kel
