Day 10...I wish this dream would end

I have put down this writing challenge for a few days. 

Yes, I am still writing, I just left this one behind for a few days to get my mind cleared out and get back on track!  

Sometimes, that is needed. 

Are we ready to pick it back up? 

We are going to have our Challenge Words M-F and break on Saturday and Sundays to regroup- due to the fact that I have 130 days worth of Writing Challenge words.  

Are we excited? 

Day 10- Writing Challenge Word of the Day:

It has been a blessing in disguise that I have been able to see, first hand, how solitude and boredom manifests within a soul.  Due to the fact that I have nothing but time, I have the time to write, to document what is happening around me, within me. Our world is not as it once was, all within ten days or so. I am working hard to try to keep a system on what day it is, whether it is day or night and trying to figure out time, since I failed to wear my watch prior to the panic and the isolation.  If I could go back above ground, I would be sure to grab my watch, along with a book, as I have read ten of the fifteen that I decided, a week before we would enter our underground safe haven, to add to our supplies. Now, I wish I had been stocking up on books, as I had been on general supplies, as it is the solitude that is sure to do me in. 

We have made the best of our time trying to occupy ourselves with cards, playing with the girls, cleaning and cooking, but our supplies are separated into rations, so even cooking is moderate.  My Mom is idle, or as idle as she can be. We were working on learning knitting and crocheting, which has been keeping her mind, and hands steady. That can be said about my Grandma also. She has doily's all around the safe haven that are beautiful and intricate. 

I steady my own self with writing, or cuddling my girls, who have been adjusting fine with lack of TV or cable.  I was smart enough to bring a piano down for them, as it has been helping with keeping the music alive around us and keeping spirits a bit brighter than they might be. 

The men busy themselves with talk of dreams for when we get out of here, although, I can see it in everyone's face that there is fear we might never, again.  

I have tried to stay positive, but this last week has been brutal on everyone. We are tired, but rested. We are busy in the mind without actual duties. We are running out of hope, but we all knew that this could happen. We all knew that we could be held underground for a time. 

Resources are still strong, as Johnie and I had calculated, time and time again, how much, what rations, and how to make this work.  This piece made me feel good. We had held up our end, and because of our calculations, our dedication to the unknown, we are all still alive. 

I am eager, however, to adventure back to the surface. After talking, quietly to Johnie, I learned that my Dad, his own and himself are planning to try to re-dig the tunnel to the surface in a few weeks time. We are going to hole up down here for a few more weeks, a month total, and see if anything above has changed. 

Those images of what we left behind chase me, regularly.  I feel as if I have died. It sounds ridiculous, unless you were in my own shoes. I am here, with my family, and feel tremendously thankful for this, but at the same token, I feel so alone, as if the realms of reality have shifted and I am stuck in some other dimension, much like I feel would happen in death. But, I am not dead. I am very much alive.  I am working hard to keep myself, and my family alive, which was our goal, Johnie and me, right? 

The loneliness brings thoughts to the forefront of my girls, living out the rest of their lives, growing old, underground. Growing up with the light of the sun. I have to refrain from these thoughts, as they bring on a great depression. How meaningless the sun may seem, how much we have taken that one bright light for granted. 

It is late. I am trying to keep the girls on a schedule, as best I can. I try to keep everyone on a schedule so that we all sleep, rest.  I don't know what is to come. I don't know what tomorrow will bring. All I know is that for tonight, as I am getting ready to tuck myself in, cozy in the blankets of the air mattress that I share with my husband, the man that I have, that I get to hold and love, no matter what happens next, I am safe. We have food and water for tomorrow. We have a dry place to lay our heads and we are together as a family. I can not be greedy. I can not ask God for more.  I am thankful for what I have in this moment, even if the not knowing what is happening on the surface is slowly killing me.  I will make sure that my girls survive this, if it takes all I have. 

Until tomorrow...I bid you farewell. 

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The depression is starting to come out in Kasey, that we can see. 

I am writing this in her perspective, as her eyes only. I feel that I am gaining more emotion by doing so. She is my main character, feeling the burdens that this new world has brought forth onto her and dealing with taking on the responsibility to tell everyone's story. 

Stop on by tomorrow for Day 11- and an interesting word of the day. It might be a challenge to fit this one into your story scheme but I have faith in us all! 

~Kelley

Confessions: from a Six Year Olds' Soccer MOM

Like so many Moms out there, I have joined the "CLUB" of Soccer Moms and boy, have I been enlightened! 

Let's start off by a little background, shall we?   So, a lovely BRIGHT ORANGE form comes home from school back in January with big letters stating that it is:

Time to sign your student up for Soccer. 

I mean, my kid was jumping up and down with excitement! It was time for Soccer to enter our world. Truth be told, Mom was pretty excited too!  We wrote out the check, filled out the form, crossed all our T's and mailed it out to the organization with hopes of starting soccer in late March, early April. 

Then, it was silence for a few months.  Still, my kid had some chatter about soccer here and there, but it was a mute subject for the most part. 

But that all changed in Mid-March when the phone calls started that they were looking for a coach for our daughters team.  Ut oh...  Of course, my Hubby would have done coaching in a heartbeat, if he did not work nights!  And, Mom is a cheer-section only and given the fact that I know nothing...let me reiterate...NOTHING...about Soccer, it was a fat chance for me!

Word started traveling home from school about other kids, mostly the boys, starting soccer and then came the question for this Mom, "Will we have a team?"

Hail to one Dad who stepped up to the plate.   He was honest...he knew nothing about Soccer, other than the fact that his daughter was on the team. 

Here we go...

Practice was the very next day after I received this phone call. Off to the happy face store we went to pick out shorts, shin guards and shoes. 

That next day...it was windy...cold...but we, (as in myself and my four year old) packed up the kid, in her newly acquired ensemble and we have been going strong ever since. 

Game one followed the day after practice and it was painful to watch, as our six year olds, who knew nothing and were one practice in, got stomped. 

Game two followed bright and early Saturday morning and was another painful rendition of what is supposed to be soccer, fully equipped with tears...on the field...and yes, my kid contributed to those tears...and not much else! 

Practice didn't happen the week following, which was a disappointment.

Then came a COLD...COLD game. I mean, fleece blankets were not even helping the frostbite! 

Yes, we lost again!

Suddenly, something incredible happened following that game. It was still a bright and early Saturday...cold, just as cold as the last game played...and the wind was relentless.  

Our kids went out there, excited! 

The coaches were in the game...Pep talks were happening...names were being called for guidance...and...to our surprise...lots of cheering was happening as our girls WON, 5-0.  

Wait...What?  What had just happened?  

My kid was super into the game, finding her spot in Defense.  I think the Coach is learning what works for the girls and the Asst. Coach was all in. It was great to see the sheer excitement on the girls faces....They were having FUN!

So, we froze our butts off...but it has been worth it.  

As a Mom, I can't write this stuff...these new life experiences...teamwork...that has come with our oldest daughter joining Soccer.  To say that I am proud, is an understatement.  I am seeing changes within my girl that are amazing. She is learning to have a back bone, which is a good thing to have in life.  She is having fun, loving soccer and working on helping to keep that ball AWAY from her goalie!

So, I have been officially  introduced to the Soccer Mom life.  I am hoping it lasts for a bit of time and so proud of my girl for getting out there and NOT GIVING UP...even when they were losing every day- I mean...we are talking ZERO...

Our lives are busier...we are a little more worn out...it takes us a little bit to get moving in the mornings for school after soccer, but I think we are better for it! I am embracing this craziness and this time with my kids. We are rooting on our girl as a family- Nana and Papa are there at every game too! 

Go Jets!

~Kel

Off the AIR.... (Saturday, 4/18/2015)

Join me tomorrow for 

regularly scheduled posts!

and

Thanks all!

 

Day Two...How I MISS You

Another writing day challenge WORD is ready for all the writers who are BRAVE enough to challenge their skills!

Writing Challenge WORD OF THE DAY:

DAY #9

Tooth/Teeth

Day 2-Underground

I feel into a sleepless slumber as soon as my exhausted head hit the pillow on the comfy air-mattress. It was early when I dozed off after having a day to settle myself in our new surroundings. It was a bit more tight down here than it had been in the basement, but we were all adjusting well.  The air was thicker down here, as we were twelve people sharing the same space within maybe five hundred square feet of safe shelter. 

The girls were settled by my side and Johnie was settled next to theirs. Our family was settled, which had not been a word spoken in nearly six, seven days. We had two working watches which let us all know what time of day it was and if it was day or night at present. We were embarking on day two and it was time for me to stop my mopping and perk up, accepting the circumstances which I could not change.  This was the way it was to be and the sooner I accepted this monumental fact, the sooner that I could join in on the fun that was being had by the rest of the family, Johnie included. 

I scrambled to my feet from the floor mattress and gathered my things to finally get a chance to take a nice, somewhat hot, shower. All the water was recycled into a tank and filtered by the pump and the wall mount tank, also run by our pocket of gas. It was awkward at first, getting used to my new bathroom surrounding. I managed just fine, showering off the filth that had settled over the days past. I was drying off when I first looked in the mirror. The person looking back out at me was not meat all. This woman was tired. Skinny. To skinny and had dark circle under her eyes and her skin was to yellow. I also shrieked at the horror of that reflection. 

It was only then that I noticed my teeth and the disgusting plague that had formed over the past seven days. I had been prepared here as well, pulling open the vanity drawer to find an extra toothbrush, well fifteen of them anyways. I started brushing, brushing, brushing until I felt I could no longer. I spit, rinse, spit again until I was satisfied that I had cleaned my mouth. 

I finished, feeling refreshed, feeling better. I felt somehow reborn, all with cleaning off the excess rubble, the excess dirt of the life I had once lived. My mind was somehow more positive. It was a new day. I felt it energizing our new world. 

I met some of the family in the common area.  Boredom had yet to set in, but I could see that it would in the days to come, the months that would follow.  I needed a few minutes to myself before words were spoken from my mouth. I needed to stop and thank the heavens for keeping my family, all that were here and whoever was still out there safe, healthy and alive. I knew I would be thankful for these reasons for more in the time that came, but for today, I was thankful, truly thankful for my life, for our lives. It was almost a bittersweet moment and as off guard as it had caught me, I could not help but wonder for how long this new outlook would survive. 

The day turned to afternoon. The time spent inside, spent in here, was close and uncomfortable. The girls were adjusting as if it were wintertime and the cold was keeping them hostage inside the warm house we kept, but I was losing sight of reality by dinner time. I missed my now none-working-phone, I missed my internet, my emails. I missed leaving the house and escaping to the outdoors, or running that errand that I know I used to dread, to the grocery store. My bright day was turning cloudy and I knew the rain would start to fall soon, whether I could physically see it or not. 

By night, as our clocks informed us, I had picked up some knitting needles and was busing myself, along with my Mom and Grandma, at making, perhaps a dishcloth. I was once again thankful for my family, which was a relief as far as I could see.  We were occupying our minds. The girls were playing with Johnie, running all around. Day two was unwinding and I was mental drained by the highs and lows I was internally experiencing. Tomorrow, I would awake, refreshed and try to fight off the conflicts with a stick and focus solely on the good that could come out of this, if it was possible. 

We were still surviving.

Day One beneath the Sun....

It is yet another day, and we are well into our writing challenge quest!  

How are we all feeling about our word of the day?

Hopefully, you are eager to get started with another challenge for another day ... let's get started!

 of our writing challenge:

con·cert

noun

ˈkänˌsərt/

1. 1.

   a musical performance given in public, typically by several performers or of several separate compositions.

   "symphony concerts"

   synonyms:

   musical performance, show, production, presentation; More
2. 2.

   formal

   agreement, accordance, or harmony.

   "critics' inability to describe with any precision and concert the characteristics of literature"

verb

formal

kənˈsərt/

1. 1.

   arrange (something) by mutual agreement or coordination.

   "they started meeting regularly to concert their tactics"

Day 1

We made our way quietly to the safe haven. I lead the group of us through the long, dark, damp tunnel and unlocked the strong, steel door that lead us inside of the compound. I felt as if I was outside of my own body. I stepped into the space that Johnie and I had created. A space that we had dug, curated, cultured, decorated, established. It was a space I knew, well.  Maybe not as well as I would from here on out, but it was a space that I had created and implemented, from the coir doormat that boldly, happily spelled Welcome to the brown leather sectional that was placed in a common area with the brown shag rug to rest your feel. The floors has been lined with cheap linoleum that Johnie and I had picked up on sale. The kitchenette area was big enough to allow our entire group of twelve to stand in with ease. The rooms off of the common area were set up with more air-mattresses that needed to be inflated. The floors had been done in carpets that were left over from the house remodel. There were five bedrooms, or rooms of sorts. A shower had been set up with a sink and gas lamps that ran off of natural gas pockets that Johnie had dug for on the property.  A unit was regulating the natural gas in the far end of the compound with a line that lead from the underground tunnel in the carriage house. 

The horror of the loud bangs from the nuclear explosions outside, above ground were causing me some anxiety. What is they hit the natural gas pockets? What if they hit the pumping station?  All of which Johnie had reassured me would not reach us or the pumps, as he had taken precautions for just this type of emergency. 

How prepared had we really been?  

We were thought of as wackos with friends and family, some of which are setting foot in our crazy world as I write this. It had been a means to an end, although one that I could not have expected to happened quite so soon in my lifetime. We were bunker-ed down, whether I liked it or not. I knew this is what had to be. I knew that if we had any chance of survival, this was it. 

I asked Johnie, shortly after we had all settled and my Mom, Grandma and Aunt had settled in the kitchen to prepare a celebratory feast of tuna noodle casserole, heated by our gas powered counter oven, what would happen if someone was looking for us, for survivors, and found us? 

I find it odd now that he deflected my questioning. At the time I was not sure if it was a purposeful act, but thinking back, I am for certain it was a ploy to not answer my questions. Why? This made me think that something had happened to the cave that we entered in. I am starting to hyperventilate at this thought. The thought of being trapped. Trapped, alive, underneath the ground. 

It had only been about half a day and I was already missing the blue sky, the sunlight that would shine through that little window we had just a day before. The concerts would be heard of the birds singing their tranquil songs was now far away and the deafness of it was almost as if it were to much to bare.

The girls were settled in one of the room, presumably the one that they had now laid claim on, the one that I unknowingly had sought out as theirs but placing toys of different sorts in the room. They were deep in play with Lego building and farm animals lined up all around either side of their buildings. Unphased by all that was happening around them. They seemed oblivious. I, of course, knew better, but it was a weight off of my shoulders to see them behaving so normally. 

My Mom's brother, my Uncle and Father-in-law were playing cards with Johnie at the card table that was set up along the wall of the common room. 

I stood in the doorway for a moment, taking in the scene that surrounded me. I was inhaling the normalcy that was our safe haven. No birds were chirping.  The sunshine could not be seen, but here were eleven people who were making the best of this situation. They were living. We were living. That had to be enough for now.

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How did you use the word, CONCERT within your story? 

Was it difficult to affix it in the writing? 

I hope that everyone is finding their writing groove and having as much fun as possible!  This is about learning how to take a word and challenge yourself to turning that word into a piece of your story...your art. 

Until Tomorrow!

~Kel

When the day turns to night... (#7)

It is writing challenge DAY #7 and I am eager to hear how everyone is doing? 

How is the WORD OF THE DAY? 

Is it sparking enough creativity for you to write your heart out?

Well, as the saying goes..."The show must go on..."

Writing Challenge- Day #7- 

WORD OF THE DAY:

It was a shock to my system. I know that I laid in the dark, the quiet surrounding me for a long while. I finally allowed myself to fall asleep, only to toss and turn as the thoughts rumbled inside my head. My dreams were an illusion of what once was, tainted with my new knowledge. 

"Kasey." a voice in the distance said.

It was Johnie. He was waking me up, startling me out of the horror.  "Was I thrashing?" I asked confused.

"No. It's sunrise. We need to start preparing."

His words were so short. His mouth lacking love. I knew he loved me, of course, but this had changed him.  This had hardened him.  I don't think he even noticed the girls, not for the five, wait, now six days were had been living in this terrible nightmare.  Was I to turn hard as well?  

I got up. My girls were up already, watching my Mom make eggs on the single burner. This was an adventure all right and it was only beginning. 

I heard a boom coming from outside. The sound crashing into the windows of our house. It caused the house to shake. Everyone looked up. Horrified by what that could be. 

My initial thought was survivors. There were more of us...left...in what was our new world.  Johnie saw my pep.  He grabbed my hand and lead me into the other room, the room that was somehow becoming a meeting room with that single window and the only light. 

"This is not hope." was all that left his lips.

"What is it then? Survivors, like us." I said a tad bit more matter-of-factually than I had intended. 

"No. This is the government. This is total annihilation, don't you see that?  Of course there are survivors, those who were meant to. I know that we do not fit into that category. You know it too. This is our time to go, before the house settling happens again, or worse, the foundation folds and we became rubble, or are exposed to the gases that are just outside these walls. It's time, Kasey, we need to hurry and get to the Safe Haven."  

He hugged me hard, kissing me before turning and gathering our things, or what was now our things.

It was time.

We all had a part, girls included. Everyone had their hands full as we pulled open the entrance to the safe haven. One trip was all we had, so we were loaded down pretty well. It was dark, damp and a long way down before we made it. We used one flashlight in the front and one in the back, to conserve our resources and followed one another in a line, as that is all the space we had. There was no turning back. 

Johnie pulled the rear of the group, as I was the guide. I approached the steel door, the door to our destiny, the door that we would be trapped within for who knew how long.  I pulled the key from my necklace chain around my neck, where it had been for the past two years. 

Preparation is key, even if you thought you would never have to use it. 

I put the key into the steel lock, twisted, pulled, tugged, struggling with the weight of the door. We were not taking any chances.

Something was happening above ground as a vibration was moving the dirt and clay that made the walls of our underground cave. 

I led us inside, everyone piling in until we were all safe. It was time to get acquainted with our new homestead.

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Could you imagine having to go deep into the Earth to escape death? I think that is a hard pill to swallow. 

I can not imagine what Kasey is going through, especially as she knows the outcome could be less than desirable. 

I also want to note that Johnie made a great point:

only those who were meant to survive, will. 

That is apparent. I have some ideas on what is going on above ground, they are being worked on as we speak in my head.  

This is my favorite part, putting those pieces into action!

I am curious to know how Mom and Dad are taking the big change. I am thinking of working their minds into the story as well. After all, they are all going through this change, and it is a big one. They are essentially locking themselves in an underground cave of sorts, one that has been equipped to handle the worst of conditions above the surface, but one that takes away that window that was providing them with sunlight, with the sense of day and night.  

Interesting!

I hope you all are having a blast writing with our word of the day.

Remember, feedback is always welcome!

Happy Hump-Day!

Until Tomorrow!

~Kel

Writing Challenge Day #6- READY OR NOT....

Today it is all about {Just Write}.  Let's stop the small talk and jump right to it!  I am excited to put my words on the paper, and I hope you are too!

Our WORD of the DAY is:

The walls were closing in on me.  I was having trouble breathing.  I felt as if I were outside of my body, looking down in horror at the picture of myself, in the dark, with the only light coming from that single light bulb. 

The rest of my family were sound asleep in the other room. They were sound and comfortable, given the circumstances.  

Johnie was standing in front of me. He saw the sicken state I had taken, all too quickly. He knew that it was to much for me to handle, yet he had to tell me or I would find out on my own and it would result in something far worse than just the knowledge of what our World now was. 

"Kas, are you OK." he spoke softly, as he held me tightly, cutting off the only breathe that I could now take.  I could not speak. I could not think. I was numb. I felt foreign, sitting there.  It was time for me to take the news that I had just learned and go to my Journal.  I needed to write. I needed to decompress the feelings, the thoughts that were roaming freely throughout my body.  I felt as if I had just received the ultimate blow. I knew what it all meant. I knew that there was no escaping the fate that we now faced. 

"When do we go underground?" I said in a voice that I hardly recognized.  Fear was embedded thick in my words.

"At Dawn would be my guess." 

I knew it was what had to be, as much as I wanted to believe, to trust, that this was temporary. That I would be in my kitchen making a homemade chicken noodle soup in no time flat.  Now, I had no idea if I would even see the daylight again.  I had no idea if we would survive.  This internal pull was causing me to choke.  Johnie held me tighter. He took my hand in his and kissed my head. I now knew what was keeping him so quiet. So still.  

April 22nd, - day #5 underground. 

Today I was taken above ground, for the first time since this whole ordeal started. I saw a vast emptiness surround our home.  Beyond the windows and doors, the earth stood still. The sun still set and the moon still shines, but what was left of the people who inhabited the earth I had known for my life was gone.  Cars were not a part of the road, lights were burned out. 

I stood in my attic, of a home that we had built with our blood, sweat and tears and I saw nothing all around me. The things that inhabit our home are useless in the world that now exists. 

It had been a vibrant world when we had made the decision to start planning for the unthinkable. We gave our all, extra money, extra time to creating a safe haven, deep underground, away from civilization. A place where we would not only be safe, but live, thrive. It had been a dream we built, one that was as much imagination as survival.  I had never, in my wildest dreams, thought that this safe haven would be our home. I never thought this could be our reality. Yet, here I stand, in the now, in the know of what had happened, having been blind for five whole days to facts that should have been instinct. 

We were survivors. I can say that now. We survived. Why? I shouldn't question it, but I am left with a need to ask this simple question. Had this been God's plan? Were we chosen to live? Had we fulfilled God's duty when we created our safe haven? 

These questions, I fear, will forever haunt me, as I have learned what epidemic, if I may, has invaded our mankind. It had been an attack against people. It had stemmed from Government actions and a country that was on the downfall. It had caused one man to lose sight of reality and create a gas that turned the world inside out, taking all of those who had not sought shelter into something alien. People were still among the living, yet, they were now hollow, for a twenty four hour stretch, then they would meet the fact of the nuclear effects and the mission of that one person was complete. 

Would we survive this? Can this gas reach our still living bodies?  I had so many questions, but yet, in the shock, horror of this knowledge I felt numb. I now knew our fate. It was not to live. It was to suffer until death knocked. 

Tomorrow we will descend further down into the Earth. Into the pure ground. When will it be safe to come above again?  I know that we have prepared for such an occasion. Such a silly word for a devastation. This was not a Birthday. This was a death.  Our air down here and further yet had been on the filtration system that we had purchased a year prior. It had been a fluke, which I believe is the irony of this whole situation. We created an underworld that should not exist, one that we created for a chance, not dreaming ever in our lifetime, that we would be relying on this for survival. 

Survival. 

This one word will haunt my existence. I am preparing to put up a fight, as good as any, to keep my children safe, to keep them alive, to keep them healthy and thriving. My family as well. We will survive. One way or another. 

I put down my pen, set my journal aside and knew that it was time to rest. I had been given a lot to digest and knew that tomorrow would be a busy day, as we once again settled into confines that were not usual.  Tomorrow, I would talk with my girls and let them know that the world is not safe, and paint pretty pictures of the adventure underground that they were about to experience. 

I kissed Johnie before settling in next to my family on the blow up mattress. 

Hopefully we are all enjoying the writing words and making the most out of them. It is an adventure with our keyboard, finding a way to make these words fit into a story-line, in a way you might not have thought could fit before.

Again, please leave feedback! If you have Word of the Day ideas, please share! I am always open to improv.

~Kelley~