They let it free, to wreck it's own havoc on all...

And everything went still....all around...

I recently started writing again.  I put together a story that I had been working on last year and brought it to life in two days.  I did not even know I had it in me, but it was like the words were flowing from something other than my body. I was typing in auto-pilot. 

I seem to have uncapped something within myself that is causing somewhat of an overload in my system because words, stories, ideas are shooting like a colorful rainbow out of my soul. 

With the recent hit of Ebola, it has almost lifted from the typed pages of my story to real life. I should preface with the fact that I am an avid Walking Dead fan.  I think that the show is nothing short of amazing, as each week I sit there and think about what it would be like?  I mean, have you ever stopped and asked yourself this very question?  What would happen if something took over the population and killed off everyone, not necessarily bringing walkers back from death, but what if you were one of the last ones here? 

What would you do?  How prepared are you?  What would be your goal?  If you had some lasting family members, what would you do to protect them? 

I think that this has become real with all these things that are hitting our people now, as far as Ebola, the virus that is hitting children causing paralysis and the respiratory infections that was also hitting children causing them to turn blue and blocking their airways.  As a parent, it is terrifying.  I question everyday whether or not I want my kid in school, being so susceptible to such diseases.  It has been a time when I do not go near the television, afraid that the news will shovel out another heaping, steaming pile of population reducing news. 

Have you gone to social media since this Cleveland to Chicago Ebola outbreak?  It has been blowing up with this and that, causing a panic to all who reside within that radius.  It makes you question why is the Government being so irresponsible?  I mean, if there was contact with the first Ebola patient why in the world was there not better precautions taken, as far as a quarantine?  I feel that this should not have been taken so lightly.  Should all personnel who were in contact in Texas not been separated from society until the duration of when symptoms can come forth?  I am spouting off, but I feel very strongly that Ebola was leaked to the United States for a reason, then care has not been given as far as handling it as the deadly disease that it is. Irresponsibility! 

So, here we stand, America the Great (and yes, I say this very loosely) fighting Ebola, fighting other rare and new diseases, fighting a war and recently fighting an impeding crash of our stock markets.  Does anyone else feel worried? 

I have said for years now that I wonder daily why?  Why did I bring two beautiful girls into this world?  I mean, this world is going to hell in a handbag with each year passing and by the time they are my age, if the world is still around, what the hell will come of them?  It is damn scary, as a Mother. 

What would happen if I woke up tomorrow and everyone was dead from Ebola?  What if all that was left were the four people in my family, us four, living in our home but all the rest of the world had expired to the disease.  Would it be a waiting game for us to pass?  What made us different? What helped us to survive? 

So we woke from our beds to a quiet world.  Outside of the house the wolves were all around, running in packs, free, feeding on the dead. We were locked in our house.  But, for how long?  Our air was still our own.  Would the air bring the death?  Preparing for a apocalypse, we had lined our cellar shelves with food.  Our electricity was still blazing.  Without anyone to control, how long would that last?  The propane tank was full, with the last fill up, but that would be all that we would have.  It kind of feel like immortality is not an option. Our life would not longer hold any type of certainty.  It would be only us for however long we would last. 

How would you feel if you were in this same scenario?  I have been thinking of this before Ebola presented itself.  I am drawn to thinking about the end of civilization.  I am not even sure that a mutation needs to happen.  I mean what if you are just, simply, alone.

I guess the question that I would ask, the longer my life lasted in my empty world, would be who was responsible for unleashing such a maddened killer?  I mean, after all, it is a killer no matter which way you want to look at the picture.

What are you feelings about Ebola?  How will it affect your life?  Things that you do within your life?  

I am not as strongly concerned with Ebola, for the simple fact that at this point it is only transmitted through bodily fluids.  I am worried that it could progress further, but it can not affect our air, our water and so forth. I do, however, think I will be investing in some toilet seat covers, as I have a three year old who has to sample all the public bathrooms whenever we go anywhere. 

As long as I am here tomorrow, I shall return....

~Kel

Motivational Monday...Get MOVING

Get up and Get Moving...

How much more Motivational can I get, right!  I am not trying to get H A R S H at you all, but if I were talking to myself, in some crazy way that is weird and, did I mention... crazy, this is what I would say!  No excuses today- GET MOVING! 

I guess the first step is getting out of bed, right!  Then get moving. Yes, I mean more than just that awesome "Wake Up Shower" or the movements you do with the blow drying by flipping your hair... Pop in a DVD, T25 perhaps and put on your "best" workout clothes and sweat!  

If mornings are hard for you, I know the feeling too!  I mean, you have to go to work perhaps, or get your kids off to school...morning can be downright hectic- but no excuses right! So, you don't make this happen in the morning, fine...but MAKE IT HAPPEN! If that means on a lunch hour, or in the early evening when you have dinner finished and kids are winding down...perhaps you are a late night-er- whatever works for you. Maybe you get some time to run to the gym...I am jealous!  This is not an option in my current life with Hubby, Kids, work and trying to stay on top of schedules! But, the no gym time does NOT mean that I don't have to work out- it just means that I get to be more creative about my workout- right! 


I think that we all have things that we want to change about ourselves. I think this is a fair statement. Maybe some people don't think that we do maybe sometimes those people are our inner voices- but is it a terrible thing to want to be healthy? Ask yourself this one question...Are you looking for a life style change or a quick fix?  That is so important when it comes to setting your goals, long term.  I think you all know why... A quick fix can be for the moment.  I mean setting that goal of fitting into a dress for a wedding (yours or someone else's) is great, but when you reach that goal, is that it?  Or do you keep going? What is your next finish line? 

Maybe you have a really great pair of pants that you are dying to get back into...what are you going to do about it?  Well...Get moving, right! 



Today is Monday and a great day to START the road to a NEW you... (Plus, You get me on your journey too, because it is time for me to buckle down!)  The best part is, if you have kids, they are going to want to get moving too! They are excellent motivation and will definitely keep you in check (if they are anything like my own) because they think that moving and grooving is so much fun!

So, do ME a favor today- I promise it won't take much of your time...baby steps here- it's OUR first day of working out, we are taking this seriously, to the extreme and we are going to improve our lives, our selves, the way we look, feel and most of all...live!  Are you ready!  I just need 20 minutes, three times a day- that is all!  That is 1 hour and it is NOT even all at once.  

We are going to start with a quick 20 minute workout in the morning or at lunch time or when you can fit it in, then another quick 20 minute workout later in the day and then another quick 20 minute workout before bed- which is the best because it clears your mind and will help you get a good night sleep as well!

Can you commit to that?  I am here too!  I am going to be doing the same workout, pushing myself to make these workouts happen and sharing the motivation with you each and every day.  We are going to set a small goal for this workout- we are going to go this 20 minute workout three times a day (that 60 minutes total commitment from you) and only for 1 week.  We are going to meet back here on Monday, 10/13 and see where we are at, how we feel and what we should move onto.  Deal?  

I have a Comment Box at the bottom of my page and if you are planning on participating, please fill it out.  Be accountable to me, as I will be to you and I promise we will see results! Share how you feel about the workout. Share how you are eating?  Share your numbers on the scale- I know it is hard, but it is accountability, right!

So, today is DAY #1.  I am standing on the scale at #130.  I am going to start my first 20 at 11:00 a.m. today, followed by another push at 7:00 p.m. and the last push at 10:00 p.m.  I am here with you, pushing you - but don't forget to push me back!

Let's do this!

Ready.  Set.  Go.

Our WORKOUT:

Warm-Up  (do this for 20 seconds/each)
 Jog in Place
Windmills
Cross Toe-touches
Jumping Jacks
Sidebends

Workout  (do three times a day)
10 pushups
20 sit ups
25 squats
20 lunges (10 each leg)
80 Jumping Jacks
60 Second Wall Sit

We got this!  Let's DO IT!

~Kel

Disclaimer:

P.S. I am a Beachbody Coach.  I will be using Shakeology in my plan. Does this mean you have to?  Heck No!  But, to be fair and HONEST, I need to make this known.  This Shako gives me energy and helps me get through my day and my workouts feeling great.  I also want to incorporate some Beachbody programs later in our goal setting.  I just have a hard time pinning down 1 program because I have quite a few and mix and match to how I feel on a particular day.  I will do my best to pick one plan down the road and stick with it for my readers sake!

Feel free to comment, please, and share your experiences, thoughts and ideas!  

They are ALWAYS welcome and encouraged!

Free for all Friday!

I can tell you one thing- after this week I am it is FINALLY Friday!  

I figured that after such a busy, stressful, down right week from HELL, I should share some tips on how I survive my BUSY weeks!

What made my week so BUSY.. Well October 1st of course!  I work from home for a company that builds portals for a part of the medical world.  Well, with government involvement, that is this thing called Meaningful Use where practices need to meet their Meaningful Use requirements by certain deadlines for attestation- well that is where our portal comes in to help them meet. 

So, with October 1st as the big day, that has meant a BIG PUSH with our company. Needless to say, it has been a week of 10+ hour days and a lot of back and forth, customer service and accountability on my own part! And to top it all off, I am 5 months into this job and still trying to find my *groove!

Plus, my little brother moved back to Ohio from California to take on a (Mad) Scientist job in Columbus and came to our neck of the woods for a visit and to take some stuff back to the new home. (including my kitchen table that has been replaced by the huge Island!)

I am trying to juggle, literally- work, kids, Hubby, and work in some time with my Little Bro and his BF, Cliff. It has been wild!  And to top off my stresses, I am on a fitness journey, that I am not so ON yet...and trying to work it into my routine- unfortunately at the end of my day I am SO tired that I crash in the girls beds after story time, so these workouts are getting later and later. (pulled directly from the pages of "Life of a Working Mom", right!) 

We ALL have weeks like this, but there are things that we can all do to help make these kinds of week easier to survive so that we can thrive when these hellish weeks do happen.

8 Tips on How to Survive a Busy Week

1. Sleep.  I know that I just said I was so tired that I was catching the ZZZ's in the girls bed after story time- and that is NO JOKE!  It's hard to get rest when you week is on hyper drive, but being well-rested will help you get a handle on everything that still lies ahead of you.

2. Eat Healthy.  It is kind of common sense, but I know that when I am rushed around, my meal plans get rushed as well! It is no good. It is so important to continue to be healthy so that your body has enough energy to get you through the day. 

3. Exercise.  Yes, I know, let's squeeze this in while my day is already packed full, but moderate exercise will give you more energy, help you feel better about YOU, relieve stresses and help to support your immune system.

4. Give yourself a little Room to Breathe.  You think you can do it all, but when your week is allowing no breathing room, make some!  You need to go easy on yourself and postpone or cut out activities that do not have to get done right now and take that time to let yourself unwind and relax. Maybe you don't make dinner, but simply order out, or you don't fold the laundry tonight so you can read. Those errands will still be there next week, when, hopefully you are less frantic!

5. Ask for help. I have the hardest time with this one! I am learning that it is NOT admitting weakness when I ask for a little extra help. In the end it does ease my mind and cuts the number of things down from my list for the day.

6. Laugh.  Ask yourself how often you laugh?  Find reasons to laugh.  If your in a stressful situation, seek it out.  There are a lot of outlets to help you laugh, TV, things your kids say, something your pets do, YouTube, a joke website. There are tons of reasons to laught but sometimes we just need to be watching for them or we miss them entirely. This is true when we are busy!

7. Learn.  If you are busy because of your own faults, learn from these mistakes and find out what you can do to ensure that this doesn't happen again.  If it is not your own fault, then you need to remember that life happens, don't blame anyone and find peace in knowing that you can cope and make it through, alive!

8. Enjoy.  I think that is the the most important thing to do, try to find something to enjoy in each day- no matter how hectic or crazy it is.  This day will never come again, so try to find the beauty in it, a reason to be grateful!

These are just some of my tips to help me get through my insane weeks.  They don't happen often, but when they do I look back on my simple steps to help me find my way through without taking out my own frustrations on my Hubby or Kids or anyone around me. I find it in myself to stay calm, understand within myself that I am not Super Woman, and that tomorrow is another day and remain hopeful about the simple fact that Friday is almost here!

~KEL

Thankful Thursday....

Thankful Thursday

A reflection of what I am grateful for.

Today, I am thankful for a lot of things in my life.  Yesterday we had our island delivered and although it is not *perfect, it is just what I imaged it to be. I guess that is a two part-er because, due to that island, I am Thankful for my Dad, my Brother, his bf Cliff, my Father-in-law and of course my Hubby. They all helped moved this huge, 10 foot long, heavy island into my kitchen, taking time out of their days to make that happen for me. 

I am thankful for my girls, who continue to grow and shine as each day passes. We are reading every night before bed- individually (I spend time with my 3 year old and time with my 5 year old with just me) and we are really close to unleashing our 5 year old reader, as she is starting to really recognize her sight words in books.  I am so thankful for that because she has wanted to read for such a long time, to see her doing it is amazing!

I am thankful for my English Bulldog, Otis.  He is such a good boy and is so loved by our family. We are lucky to have such a calm, loving dog who is also a great guard dog.

I am thankful for my Mom. She get's her own shout out. We don't always see eye to eye, but her heart is big and I definitely need her in my life. 

I am grateful for my job, which allows me to work at home.  The hours might be long and I feel like I make more mistakes than anything, but I am learning, I take it seriously and I really like being able to be home, so that if my kids need me, I am always here.

I am thankful for this old house we call Gray Gables. It once had the life sucked out of it and was literally gray and we have added color and life and made it new again.  It is because of this house that I feel at my most creative, I feel grateful to have been the ones to own it and although we have a lot of work ahead of us still, I know that one day it will be worth every bit of what we have put into it. 

Life is not simple. There is always something to be thankful for and I hope to remember those things weekly, instead of just when it is the right time to be thankful. 

I am starting a new challenge for myself in regards to fitness and I am grateful to have this opportunity to stay healthy and show my kids what it means to be determined and set goals for yourself and meet those goals. 

I hope you all have some time to reflect on what you are thankful for also. Time is short, I think it is important to remember these little things that can slip past us without another thought!

And of course, I should end by saying that I am thankful for my followers and readers! I am grateful to be able to have my blog to share my feelings and my life, even if no one listens, I think that my kids can look back on this and see what kind of Mom, Wife and Woman that I was while they were growing up!

Thanks ALL!

~Kel

If your teenage daughter came to you and told you she was Pregnant, how would you react?

This is not an easy topic. I watch 16 and Pregnant- taking notes is what I say. I can imagine what it would be like be a teen Mom and I don't envy girls who have to take on this responsibility.  I am an old Mom and I still have my days where I want to curl into a ball and cry...and I am an adult!

So, I think that as a Parent, I can only hope for an open relationship with my girls. When sex becomes a hot topic, birth control will not be an issue.  I also want to make sure they are Educated and I might even make them watch those first episodes of 16 and Pregnant. (Not Teen Mom - those girls glorify the situation and MTV pays their asses! Yes, I still watch though!)

If a pregnancy is in our future with a teen daughter, than we calmly, rationally handle whatever path our daughter wants to move on.  If she choose life, then we stress the importance of responsibility of herself and her child.  I will NOT be hands off but I think that even at 3 and 5 they understand that Mom is past raising babies!  

If she is for a Termination of the Pregnancy, then that is her decision as well and I will support that decision and be by her side to hold her hand and stress to her the pros of that choice at this time. 

As for adoption, I am on the fence. I am really into the Family Tree and knowing your roots and I just think that Adoption is like an invisible road block to keeping your limbs of the tree growing.  I know that I could get some backlash from this, but I just feel like it would be incredibly hard to give up a child, always knowing that they are out there...somewhere...just not with you.  I kind of think that Termination is not the answer either, but at least with termination you can pray to God for forgiveness and hope that that child will come back to you someday when it will have a chance.  I think the best option is NOT GET PREGNANT before you are ready to be a Parent!


I will not be a Parent that sways her in any which direction but I think that Education about what to expect and not expect need to be a strong reality check! 

This situation will be handled with my Hubby and we will co-parent the situation. I think that he might be quick to go to the irrational side of things, but I will try to remain grounded and understand that this is bigger than just a Pregnancy, this is something that our daughter is going through and it is scary and life changing.  I think that is very important, to not lose sight or blame or be negative. That could leave a lasting impression on not only your Daughter but the baby in question.



The topic is hard because I could say this now- with my 3 and 5 year old girls- but what happens when the reality of a 16- 17 something comes to us with this news?  I can only hope that I am able to educate them as much as I can to give them a fair shot at life- at an education and being able to enjoy travel, living, a spouse before an introduction of a HUGE responsibility.  Babies change everything, after all and this is so whether you are 16, 17 or 27... It doesn't change, I promise!

On a side note, I am an avid watcher of 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom and I have loved each and every one of those girls and hated them at the same time!  I love Catelynn and Tyler and am so emotional about their adoption journey with Carly. I see why they did what they did, watched their struggles - I mean when they were in the hospital saying Good bye broke my heart- literally!  And to think that those two would have the greatest bond and will be the BEST parents!  I think this is why I am on the fence so much about Adoption.  

I have watched Chelsea, a spoiled brat go from being a co-dependent on Daddy with a baby, to a Mom, one that I respect. I think that she lives for Aubrey and has worked hard to show her that she is not going to be full of excuses in life. 

I have watched Janelle walk away from her adorable Jace, only to have another baby and still not really "get it"!  I can see her walking away from this new baby just as easily. I feel for Barbara, because yes, she is an annoying person but she has raised Janelle's kid since birth, whether Janelle wants to look past her own guilt or not.

Then there is Maci and Bentley who are just adorable and Maci portrays a really Good Mom.  She is not letting her teen pregnancy stop her from getting her education, which I think is good for Bentley to see.

I think that Kale has a lot to learn still.  She is trying to Co Parent - but I think that she shows how hard the struggles can be, even when you move on.  It is not easy, especially when you are not with the person you are parenting with.

I think that the show shows a lot of the struggles, but it also shows the girls with new cars and new homes ALL the time- which is glorifying the situation in my personal opinion.

I think that 16 and pregnant show the raw emotion of dealing with the pregnancy and the boyfriends and the hormones and the struggles.

I will make my girls sit down and watch hours of it as birth control! LOL

Totally just kidding, but I think that it starts with Education and I am sticking to that.  I will not be afraid of Sex or talking about Sex, it is important and needs to start in the home.  If the girls feel comfortable discussing it, it can be monitored better and birth control can be supplied to ensure that whatever their overall decisions are, they are protected. 

That is my story and I am STICKING to it!

That is all for now! Have  a GREAT Tuesday! (it's going to be a LONG week!)

~Kel

WHY I stay Married...

Hubby & I on our wedding day- November 11th 2006

I started this blog because I really love to write and I  think that I give good perspective on things that happen in and around my own life.

That being said, I made it known that I was taking my blog back! I recently got a little lost with my thoughts and was having a hard time sitting down to write. It is sad because I loved my blog when I first started and I do not feel like it lost that luster, I just lost my mind!

But, I am getting back to finding myself and with that, it is redefining what I want from my blog and while I am doing that, I need to "keep it real" and uncensored myself!  

With that, I would like say give a big shout out to those of you who read my blog and give me the drive to keep writing...A huge Thank you!!!

So, I guess it is time to take out the censor and let my words flow...

Why I stay Married.

Engagement Pictures 2006

I know a lot of you are like, what!  It is a taboo topic and one that could get me in deep doo-doo, but it is what it is, right!

Yesterday I was right snack dab in the middle of a "Classy Fight" with my Hubby.  After almost nine years of marriage and we are well into thirteen L O N G years today- you would think that we would be past these type of knock down, drag out arguments...well, they still happen.  I would not say they are typical, especially in our household, but sometimes...I have just had enough of the sucking it up which has become my role as we get older.  Sometimes I want to scream and shout and ...oh wait... sorry, breaking out into song!  

But it is SO true!

Anyways, it was high stress times for Hubby dealing with our whiny three year old while he was cooking breakfast and apparently I was supposed to be doing the monitoring but I was busy stripping beds for Sheet Sunday (yup, I really just said THAT!) and getting ALL the beds remade.  Let me point out that I am one of those 24-7 Moms. I don't get a day off unless my Parents take my girls- and that is the truth.  I don't get a minute to sit back and relax or just a break from the daily routine when Hubby is around until I get my girls to bed and I have brought this up time and time again, and am always met with Deaf ears...apparently!

I rejoined the Family (mind you, I did have the five year old with me, helping) and we ate a nice breakfast. (yes, I really mean that!)  Then, the girls finished and my oldest excused herself but my youngest was a little more resistant to the idea of going off by herself and we were met with the awesome three year old response..."I Can't!"

Well, we finally got her to leave the kitchen and I was slapped in the face with a conversation about: 

"Everyone lets her have everything she wants and does everything for her so now she can't do anything for herself." 

Um, hello..she is three!  I kept my mouth shut and just asked him to "Stop." This is where he jumped up from the table and had a temper tantrum- which I have been seeing a lot from him lately.

Baby Girl- how can you not just LOVE this little face! Whiner or not!

It pissed me off...to be frank!  I calmly asked him why he is acting this way all the time and of course it was reversed and all of a sudden I was the one flipping out - which I was still not at that point.  But that was the straw that broke the camels back for me!  I just said that I am not stupid and I know he is talking about me when he says *Everyone and she is three and we are going through the same motions we went through with our oldest. 

Guess it just pisses me off that he has ZERO patience and he is only a part-time parent. (in no means am I trying to be mean by this statement, he is just always busy with stuff around the house or should I say in the yard/garage/pole barn and with work)  I do this job everyday!  I deal with the whining, crying, talking back, temper tantrums, clean ups, wiping butts, hugs, kisses, talks, boo boos, laughs- this is my JOB.  I don't like it when I am always knocked down about my parenting when I think that my kids are great kids and the only people that seem to ever have a problem with them are those who have NO PATIENCE and are hardly ever around. Sorry for my vent but those girls are my life.  I eat, sleep and breathe them and would not change that for anything in the world. (I say this still even after my three year old woke up screaming last night and when I picked her up she literally pee'd on me- TRUE STORY!)

So, on top of trying to be a Good Mom and make sure that my girls look back on their childhood and have positive thoughts, I am also trying to balance being a Good Wife and from his perspective, I must suck at that too. 

After his tantrum and my walking away- because if I don't it will not ever end - I was screamed at "Pack your shit and leave!"  The best part...my poor kids heard it ALL.

Bad parenting MOMENT!

  

I know what you are thinking...Why do I stay MARRIED- right! (Please remember that there are always 3 sides of a story, Mine, His and what actually happened! ;) 

Well, I got my *chores done around the house and grabbed my girly's and ran a crossed town to the bank. (cool down time)

I decided that if I did not break the ice, we would not talk- so I text-ed Hubby and asked him if he needed food. (the way to a Man's heart is through his stomach, right?)  He had a friend over helping him work on his pole barn- so lunch it was.  



Sure, I was still icy.  I brought them their food with little conversation. I might forgive but I don't forget so easily.  We went about our day, separately.  Then, around dinner time he asked me to go to Lowe's (romantic, right!) - so away our family went.  I guess this old house is what brings us back to reality. Everything was right again. (well, don't mind my rant above- that is going to happen no matter what because sometimes I just need to get that stuff O U T!)

So, the reason WHY I stay MARRIED is because at the end of the day he is my best friend.  I need a reset now and again and to be able to remember the why and although no one ever wants to admit this, it is with honesty that I am able to say that it is needed at times.



I kissed him goodnight and gave him my I Love You's and went to bed knowing that tomorrow is a new day. Sometimes that is what is needed.  If I sat here and said that I/We never had a bad day I would be nothing more than a straight up LIAR. We do and some times those days are worse than others, arguments are rougher than they should be but sometimes it is those words that are said out of anger that can help put life back into 
perspective. 

Realign our reality, so to speak!

Today I know that he is my Husband because of the bond that is strong between us, even when we might think it is waiver-ing.  I know that I am his wife because I am the glue of our family and I know that we both hold the key to each other's hearts and to our home.  That is the most important thing.  I also think that it is important to let my children know that we aren't perfect but by the time the sun sets we are on a better path- not that I like arguing in front of them, or them hearing the things that sometimes do come from our mouths.  We are not perfect but we try to be together and hopefully tempers are reset as well and we can find calm, patience and some type of understanding! (yes, after ALL this time, we are still seeking this!)

And that, my friends, is a bit of Life at Gray Gables! (a little bit of Gray...right- and not 50 shades...)

Thanks for listening and please feel free to share your own thoughts or stories, I would love to get other perspectives!

#lovestinks

#itainteasy

#thisismylife

#livingformykids

~Kel