Marriage Monday...Husband Vs. Kids...

Do you ever find yourself torn between spending time with your Husband versus your Kids? 

My Hubby and I started our relationship as just the two of us. We spent years like this, until we welcomed our third party, then our fourth. During our journey, it has become more and more complicated and finding time for one another is sometimes non-existent. 

Life is funny.  I say this because over the course of twelve long, beautiful years with my Hubby, I am still amazed when I just can't find time for him. I know what you are thinking, "Did she really just say 'find time for him'?"  It sounds terrible, I know.  I know.  We have two amazing little girls, who occupy more than their share, let me tell you. At the end of the day though, it just seems like we never get time together. 

I can say that it has been getting a little easier. My girls have been playing on their own a lot lately, which is wonderful! But, then comes the complicated life of an Automotive worker!  He is on that odd ball shift from dinner time to early morning and I am on the other odd ball shift of early morning to early afternoon. He is sleeping when I get home, I am sleeping or getting ready for my day when he gets home, that leaves a chat or two and that is about all!

How do we find time for one another? 

I have been seeking this answer since he started this shift and I am still not coming up with a solid solution. I moved my hours back a little in the morning, but he wants to chill and unwind instead of waking me up. I try to get home after work by a certain time, but he is getting up later and later because he is dealing with the girls and coming back home and having a hard time sleeping.  All this, does not make life any easier!

I want to say it is this new schedule, but the reality is that what once was, is no longer. Does that mean I stop trying, hell no! I keep trying, I will find a way to make that time, but it does create lulls and loneliness within me because essentially, I am a single parent most of the time, which means that when he is around, our girls fight for both of our attention, leaving little to none for ourselves.

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I keep a reminder that there is a bigger picture here! He is working for our family and I am eternally grateful and amazingly proud! We have been crawling out of debt since he started this job and that is a feat that has been a battle for over six years. We knew coming into this house, that ultimate goal was to get ourselves debt free and we are so close. But the price has been tough. Does that mean we won't get through it? No. We have and will continue, finding a way somehow to keep our connection strong. 

I feel like the ultimate solution is to do what I am doing, and find a way to be a stay at home Mom. I will be working, but remotely. I will make this happen because the benefits are so great for my family. This will allow the time we are not getting to be there, the income to remain the same and I will be able to participate more in my children's lives.

I don't know the answers or solution to our issues. I don't even know if anyone else is suffering the same kind of struggles that we are, but I know that we are remaining patient and with our eye on the prize, eliminating our debt, and paying our dues to get to the end of that road. Life is good. We are not struggling, we have everything we need and want right now.  We are just learning all over again how to connect with one another. 

So, what are we actually doing?  I think that they key to any relationship is communication. Try that when you are opposite schedules! We manage though. There are text messages that come through all day long, we talk before I leave for work and before he leaves for work and we definitely do not waste any time fighting or arguing (well most of the time!)

We also have found a way to get some *couple time in, on early mornings.  It is a little tricky, since our children have a 4 a.m. built in alarm clock, but that is why God allowed us to have a lock on our door!

Hubby and I also find something funny each day to laugh about. It could be the stupidest thing ever but as long as it makes the other person laugh, it gets put on the table and this seems to help with our connections! 

Life is about having FUN and it is amazing to see how we were living our life before our crazy schedules and how serious we once were, to now, we don't have a lot of time together and are still figuring it all out, we truly seem to be happier people. We laugh more around each other and smile a lot, kissing and hugging is a plus too!  

I think it is crazy how much we can take those little things for granted until we realize that we don't have all the time in the world!  To think back to the days before kids, it was just us. We could talk when we wanted, have sex when we wanted, walk around the house with zero clothes on, scream, yell, laugh, watch movies really Loud, come and go as we please, no matter what time..man I miss those 2 a.m. Walmart or Meijer trips!  I hate thinking back to that better place, when we have so much less responsibilities but an grateful for what I have been given in its place. But those gifts from God also come with a price, they are little time suckers!!!

At the end of the day, when I am going to bed alone, I send him a quick text message, asking about his night and letting him know how much I love him and it warms my heart when he text back that he loves me more...

Quote: Audrey Hepburn *Fav

~KEL~

 

"Say WHAAT...Sunday" hot topic: Do you ever find that you are NEVER invited to anything?

So, you got hitched, had some kids, work full time and are living a pretty full life, one thing, you are NEVER invited to anything going on with your friends and family.. What is up with that? 

Our Wedding Cake

Life has been weird since Hubby and I got hitched. We have lost a lot of friends, for no apparent reason. Maybe I should retract that statement, I think that we have lost ALL our friends.  Yes, they have drifted in and out through the years, but only a small few have remained somewhat present. I have always just let it roll off my back or put it in the back of my mind, but lately, our kids are getting older and it just seems weird! 

We got married seven years ago. We were the only ones doing it, so I think that pushed a lot of people out of our lives, because in a sense, we were growing up and they wanted to remain single and we were taking our relationship to the next step. 

I think that they drifting started when we got our house. The boys that would come for dinner all the time or just stop by, suddenly stopped! 

The Wedding Pary...

But, we had one of those buddies as Hubby's Best Man, and since that day, he just fizzled into space. I totally get that people are in different stages in their lives, but it just makes me so sad to know that I am the type of person who would have made them an Uncle to our kids, loving to have them in our lives. 

But, the other day, our friends, kind of at an acquaintance level, had a party for their kid, who is only a year older than our oldest and everyone and their Mama gets an invite, except us. It is crazy! I would love to introduce our kids, which is sad because they really should already know one another! 

But, I get it, we hear the same old excuses, well we thought Hubby was working, or you live to far and we didn't think you would come.. Blah, Blah, Blah. 

Yes, we are busy, but we are so open to widening our social circles. This goes for Hubby's Family too, they have kid birthdays and parties and such and NEVER invite us. Those are the only "cousins" that my girls are going to have. It just sucks sometimes!

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Does anyone else feel this way?  I have said for years that we need to find couple friends who are like us, with kids, and a couple and all that- but so far, it is still just us, in this bubble with babies!

Hopefully life will change somewhat, to allow us to throw these big parties and get together's that we both dream about! As soon as Good Old Gray's gets a little more together we are having a BASH and inviting everyone who has isolated us to open the door and start fresh!

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Hopefully it works in our favor and brings out people to party for years down the road!

(sounds great anyhow!)

Well, that is my say what Sunday, hopefully we are not the only ones feeling like this, and if anyone else is, your not alone!  

Time for a change!

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~KEL~

New Blog Hours..

Well, Family coming first is what I preach and lately, I have been so Amped up to get my blog posts on, I have kind of been neglecting my kiddos. (Mom, why can't we play candy land before bed...Not now, Mommy has to blog..- oops!)

My Little Ladies

So, I will continue my M-F spots but take off on Saturday and Sunday. I promise to still bring lots of energy and hot topics but just on a Monday thru Friday basis.

Thank you to everyone who follows or is watching. If you have a topic you want me to dissect, feel free to email, I am always open to new ideas/content or viewpoints!

Thanks!

Me- being ME!

KelAmstutz@gmail.com

~KEL~

Schedule Break Down:

Mondays are all about Marriage - MARRIAGE MONDAYS

Tuesdays are all about Books I am reading or have read- BOOK REVIEW TUESDAYS

Wednesdays are WACKY... (plus, it's HUMP day!)

Thursdays are Throw Back Thursdays... Come with me as we dive into memories..

Fridays are FUN or FUMING..depending on my Mood.. 

**Everyone once in a while I plan on switching up with Parenting Topics, Family, Crafts, Gossip and of course Recipes, because we all know I love to cook.. 

Its Friday People, and I'm Fuming!!!

Yesterday, we blog about Ex-Boyfriends,today we blog about Husbands we love...and hate...

 Today is Friday.  It is supposed to be a Great Frickin' Day.. Right?  Well, I guess someone else had something else in mind for me because what was an OK Friday (while I was working,of course) turned into a TERRIBLE Friday... Thank you Hubby...

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Relationships are hard.  Anyone who says they are easy, is Lying! We just had the calm, before the storm. (his words, not mine!) He informed me, at 5 a.m. this morning, that he has a potluck at work and needed to get some Meat Balls from Gordon's to take with him, but he needed to get some sleep. 

Now, I know that he was not implying for me to get the meatballs, but I knew there would be a catch... 

So, this morning, around 9:30 a.m. I get a text from Hubby saying that he is picking up the meatballs and I can test them when I get home from work.  OK.  So, I get off work, Thank God! I cruise over to get my girly's! It was a great drive to get them too, sun was shining, it was 51 degrees and it made my Mood Happy! 

My Girls had a good day. My oldest had school and got her first ever report card. It said that she is stubborn when it comes to trying new foods, she can't hop on 1 foot and she can't skip. Otherwise, it actually says that she loves to learn- Sorry, Proud Mama moment!

We had to make a stop at McDonald's- Shamrock Shakes, of course! Then homeward bound. So, we walk in the door at 3:30 p.m. and of course, I have a mess to clean up.  Our Bulldog decided to EAT his darn bed and pee on it! Oh what fun.  So, I had to clean all that up and them wash the dang dog, because he knew he was bad and went in pee ridden kennel- thanks Otis! 

Then it is 4:00 p.m. or a little after. Yes, I smell meatballs. Hubby wakes up and says that I burnt the meatballs because I didn't tend to them. Say What? I just worked, picked up kids, got them Shakes, cleaned up after dog and bathed him and I was supposed to deal with HIS frickin' meatballs too! I was kind of BUSY! HELLO.

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So, I said something about I didn't know that was my responsibility and he said that he asked me to deal with them. WTF. I was pissed at this point.  So, I dealt with his meatballs, and yes, some of them were burnt -  but guess what, they would have been even with me getting home at 3:30 p.m. so {stick my tongue out here}.

Anyways, he left with a "Good Bye" and spinned his tires on his way out of our gravel driveway. 

I cooled down, slowed my roll and texted him that I didn't want to fight, nothing was going to change the situation but fighting wasn't the answer and wasn't going to fix it. I said I was SORRY.  Instead of him saying OK, I get a spiel about my suckey attitude and blah blah blah.  Then he says that because of this effin' shtuff.. he forgot him headphones.. Really. 

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Whatever.  He is Lucky I love him, because right now I have a list a mile long of everything that is "MY RESPONSIBILITY" that I am on my own with, PLUS I work full time.  Yes, I am acting like a baby, but it has me fuming! 

{deep breath}

I am honestly ready for a weekend, could use a glass of Asti and some sleep! I will get a weekend and sleep but have to for-go the Asti.. (boo) 

Hopefully we can make up because it is stupid and I was acting childish, but I just feel like I have to handle everything, all the time. I am doing this single Mom thing too and I totally get that he has to work and he is making money for our family, I am so proud of him, but at the same time, I wish I was appreciated a little more without have to toot my own horn all the time. All I want to do is stay home. It is so sad. I think that might be the root to my temper! I could have made the meatballs and handled all this and that, he could get sleep and get up way before the thirty minutes he is pushing now to get to work on time. I could be taking 5 YO to school and picking her up and handling my Mommy Business. Hopefully this will happen. Better yet, I am making this happen!

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But for now, I am breathing in and out and trying to move past my anger for the situation, in which I just spoke, and find peace and happiness. 

Marriage is full of silly little fights. Then, we move on, together! 

P.S. The Dog Is Sparkling White!

OTIS Amstutz- Our Bulldog

Throw Back Thursday.. Bringing it back to Old Boyfriends this week...

Are you ready for my Throw Back Thursday? 

It's Throw Back Thursday and I wanted to take it back to a few of your Old Boyfriends who left a impact in your life? How about an imprint in your heart? Where are they now and was it a good decision that you did not end up with them? 

Today is Thursday. (I am doing a GIGANTIC HAPPY DANCE)  It was also a day that proved to be *funny!  I picked up my Kiddo's from my Mom's today and we were talking about my girls.  (on a side note, I came acrossed Hubby's half sister - who does not live here, nor does she have contact with my Hubby or his Dad) and I was taken back because her eyes are identical to my Daughters. I mean shape/color and it was like looking in a mirror, eye wise that is. They are not similar in ANY other way.  I mentioned this to my Mom, who had mentioned something about her looking just like my Hubby more and more everyday.  She said that my Daughter's eyes are like my Dad's or like Hubby's Dad's - then (sorry Mom) she says that her eyes are just like my Ex's and his Mom's eyes. I was like "WHAT?" I seriously could not believe she just said that. 

Top is my Youngest's Eyes/ Bottom is my Oldest's Eyes.

So what is the big deal with my Daughter's eyes, well they started off Purple when she was first born, then they were bright blue and since have turned a Hazel/Green color with a half ring of Blue (like Hubby) and Brown (like me) and they change all the time. She is very mood oriented! And yes, they are BRIGHT Green when she is a wild one!!!
 

Well, obviously they are not the same color as Hubby's eyes. We always say that she looks just like Hubby's Mom, who passed away. She really does look just like her! But, Hubby's Dad has Green eyes and Kiddo's mimic's them sometimes also! 

But, my Ex. Really? I was speechless and laughing at the same time.  Then she tells me to look up said Ex. I was like, "Um, NO!"  I have no desire to see how "Big" he has gotten over the 13 -14 years it has been since I last was in contact with him. But, I do find it comical to think that he has changed so much. And no, I am totally NOT curious. 

So, that brings me to my Throwback Thursday- Damn it took me a minute to get here!  Here is the back story, I was fourteen and just getting back from Hawaii. My Brother was spending a lot of time with Ex's brothers over that summer. I came home, just off the plane and my Mom was determined to take me out to pick up my brother from his house and yes, she had been telling me all about him every time I called home from Hawaii. 

So, we meet.  Yes, he is cute. I am shy. It is awkward.  He asks me for my phone number and later that night we start "talking".  I am fourteen after all! 

Oahu, Hawaii

We talked throughout the entire summer, everyday.  Then, it was back to school and although the love word was tossed around, we both agreed to take it a step back over the school year because we didn't drive and knew we would barely see one another.  

I have no idea, nor do I remember, but we kept picking it up when we'd see each other, totally innocent. We started driving at sixteen and would hang out here and there, but still remained casual and innocent. Feelings were there, but we both weren't ready to take the next steps. 

Then, I got older, as did he, and on drunk nights, he would be my drunk-dial.  He would come over to my BFF's and hang out or take me back to his house, bringing me home the next morning. (totally awkward - his parents were my parents Friends..)

Stuff did happen. The Love word was tossed around a few more times, but it just never seemed to be the right time.  After ten years, we finally met up again. I have no idea what happened but I was fed up. I think I had exhausted my waiting patience.  He took me to a bar, wanted to get drunk, as usual, and tell me that I was better than him and could do so much better.  We argued because I absolutely hate it when people tell me how to feel or what I feel and it finally came out that he wouldn't be with me because he hated my Mom, he always had and always would and couldn't get past it.

I walked away.  I never looked back.  

When I do look back, like today, it is funny because as much as I thought he was the one, I met Hubby and I knew that he really was The One. Now, to know that my Ex has a girlfriend, who he has three little girls with and still lives in the same house he was living in, in not such a great neighborhood, I know that I choose the right path. I let it go. 

I find it funny because I was so in love with his ass for ten years of my life. I let him go and not very long after, Hubby came into my life. He had been my crush the summer after I was with the Ex. 

I would like to say that my Ex did leave an imprint on my heart. I loved him so naturally and honestly that it set a standard for those who came into my life after. He also showed me everything I did not want in my love and future.  It didn't make sense then, but looking back, it all makes perfect sense.

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I love the path I chose, I love my Hubby and could not image my life with anyone else. And, my oldest is a child between my Hubby and I, and although I know my Mom didn't mean otherwise, it is still funny to look at her and try to see my Ex because she is so much her Daddy, my Hubby, at that same age. 

I might not work at home or be a full time Mommy, yet... but I have a great life, a wonderful Hubby and two beautiful children that we made together. I would never want anything else. 

I also am lucky because Hubby understands, as do I, that there is always a past, a learning experience, that is a part of my make-up and encourages me to remember and share with my girls, instead of hiding it and acting like it has always been just Him and Me. Those people before one another helped up grow and develop into the people we are today towards one another. 

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So, did you choose wisely? Regrets? Or Relief? 

Happy Thursday everyone.. Gotta dash- Gray's is on!!

~KEL~  

Wacky Wednesday. ..Snow day..

Boy do I have WACKY for ya!  Yesterday, good old Ohio was 51° with sunshine and blue skies.  Today its 26° and the snow is falling. We currently have a Level 3 snow emergency and I was sent home from work. The roads are crazy!! 
How do we flip from spring like conditions to a blizzard?

I feel like setting out Middle for Mother Nature because she is seriously PMS - IN it!!

My 5 yo asked me if we can "seriously move now" since it won't get warm!!  I think Ohioians are SO over it!

This is just down right Wacky!!!

Book Review Tuesday... Complete Me by J. Kenner (much awaited)

 Complete Me 

by J. Kenner

A Book Review by Kel - for the final trilogy of the Stark Trilogy Books.

Book Cover from Randomhouse.com

 

 

Title: Complete Me (Stark Trilogy #3)

By: J. Kenner

Genre: Romance, Billionaire, Steamy, BDSM, Adult Fiction.

Published: July 30, 2013

SYNOPSIS: This sexy, emotionally charged romance continues the story of Damien Stark, the powerful multimillionaire who’s never had to take “no” for an answer, and Nikki Fairchild, the Southern belle who only says “yes” on her own terms.
Our desire runs deep. But our secrets cut close.
Beautiful, strong, and commanding, Damien Stark fills a void in me that no other man can touch. His fierce cravings push me beyond the brink of bliss—and unleash a wild passion that utterly consumes us both.
 Yet beneath his need for dominance, he carries the wounds of a painful past. Haunted by a legacy of dark secrets and broken trust, he seeks release in our shared ecstasy, the  heat between us burning stronger each day.
 Our attraction is undeniable, our obsession inevitable. Yet not even Damien can run from his ghosts, or shield us from the dangers yet to come.

{adapted from  Barnes & Nobles website under description of book}

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After much waiting, I finally finished the book.  I am not going to lie, I put it down and conveniently did not seem to work time to read the rest, dreading the last page. I hate finishing a book because then I am left disappointed and dying to know what happens..next.  This book is no different. I loved the series, although it did take me a little bit to get "into" it all.  I had my fill of the other erotic novels and was afraid that this was just another one of "those" books! But, after I started turning the pages, I just couldn't stop, not until it stopped me, of course. Now I am left wondering what happens next, hoping that J. Kenner left it as she did for a possible add on book?  Hey a girl can dream, right!

OK, enough of me yapping, I am sure you all are waiting to hear about the book, right!

Complete Me is the final installment of the Stark Trilogy.  Both the characters, Nikki and Damien, are very strong characters throughout the series.  Most of these series offer up a rich, handsome but damaged man.  This one proves to be different. All three books have "hooked" me as a reader and all have left me wanting more. 

This book starts where book two leaves off.  Damien and Nikki are in German and Damien is awaiting the trial for murder.  Nikki is scared and battling with her feelings and emotions throughout this turmoil.  She knows that she can't lose Damien.  Damien keeps up his iron mask but deep down he is torn apart by the proceedings.  Nikki being by his side seems to stable him somewhat.  There is an out for Damien, to make the murder mess disappear, but it also bring out the demon that he is trying to keep hidden. He tells Nikki and seems somewhat surprised by her willingness to stick by him no matter what.  He seemed to be looking for a different outcome.  

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This book shows Nikki and Damien doing everything together.  They are building a bond with each other that is apparent and deeper than the surface. There is strength within both of them.
‘You’re what gives me strength. If I am what centers you, Nikki, then you are what anchors me.’
The story line is full of surprises, each page promising a different twist or turn.  It is very difficult to put down (unless I was getting close to the end and afraid for it all to be over, that is!) 
As for the Author's portrayal of the characters, I think that J. Kenner is a genius. She created two damaged, flawed characters and put them together to both become stronger from their demons. At the beginning, Nikki was so fragile. She remains fragile in so many aspects through the story but seems to draw her strength from Damien.  There are many sacrifices that each character seems to be making throughout all three books. 
The irony is that Damien is a tortured soul on the inside but so utterly beautiful on the outside.   

“I want to hold you close. To cherish and protect you. To draw you in until we are so close that I am lost within you. I want to take you to bed, to watch the way your skin tightens beneath my fingers, the way your body awakens under my touch. I want to trail kisses over you until you are lost in so much pleasure that you don’t know where you end and I begin. I want to tie you up and fuck you until there is no doubt that you are mine. I want to dress you up and take you out, and show you off, this beautiful, vibrant, brilliant woman. Everything I’ve built? All my billions? They have no value compared to you.”


Since this is the third book, you would expect the steam to be wary, but I promise that Nikki and Damien are both still on point and sizzling. All in all, I think that this book was a must read. It has different projections than similar stories, there is a different story line and it is written to form pictures in your mind of each character and every detail that their are enduring throughout the books. 
So, the flaw, well it was the ending. As I said, I was left wondering what happens next. I like it when there is a little peek at the future, as in Fifty Shades foreshadow. But, I am hoping it was done like this to have an opening for a possible next book?  

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An Interview with the Author:


So How did J. Kenner come up with the premise for the story/series?

JK: I’ve been writing for Bantam for a while, and one day I was having a conversation with my editor about the rising popularity of erotic romance, and especially the billionaire hero. I had an idea for one, with a damaged billionaire and a woman who was both very strong and very damaged, and she was intrigued. At her suggestion, I wrote a TV Guide type blurb and sent it to her. She loved it and told me to dive into longer proposal. The characters were so clear in my mind that I wrote an incredibly long (I think it was 14 pages) single spaced synopsis of the entire store, with dialogue and love scene snippets!. I was in love with these characters. Fortunately, so was my editor. At first, we were thinking that it would just be one book, but we loved the characters so much, and there was so much story there, that we ended up turning it into a trilogy. It’s been a fabulous experience. I’ve loved all the books I’ve written, but sometimes things just “click” between an author and the characters, and that was how it was in the case of Nikki and Damien!

 {adapted from Randomhouse.com}