Do you ever find yourself torn between spending time with your Husband versus your Kids?
My Hubby and I started our relationship as just the two of us. We spent years like this, until we welcomed our third party, then our fourth. During our journey, it has become more and more complicated and finding time for one another is sometimes non-existent.
Life is funny. I say this because over the course of twelve long, beautiful years with my Hubby, I am still amazed when I just can't find time for him. I know what you are thinking, "Did she really just say 'find time for him'?" It sounds terrible, I know. I know. We have two amazing little girls, who occupy more than their share, let me tell you. At the end of the day though, it just seems like we never get time together.
I can say that it has been getting a little easier. My girls have been playing on their own a lot lately, which is wonderful! But, then comes the complicated life of an Automotive worker! He is on that odd ball shift from dinner time to early morning and I am on the other odd ball shift of early morning to early afternoon. He is sleeping when I get home, I am sleeping or getting ready for my day when he gets home, that leaves a chat or two and that is about all!
How do we find time for one another?
I have been seeking this answer since he started this shift and I am still not coming up with a solid solution. I moved my hours back a little in the morning, but he wants to chill and unwind instead of waking me up. I try to get home after work by a certain time, but he is getting up later and later because he is dealing with the girls and coming back home and having a hard time sleeping. All this, does not make life any easier!
I want to say it is this new schedule, but the reality is that what once was, is no longer. Does that mean I stop trying, hell no! I keep trying, I will find a way to make that time, but it does create lulls and loneliness within me because essentially, I am a single parent most of the time, which means that when he is around, our girls fight for both of our attention, leaving little to none for ourselves.
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I keep a reminder that there is a bigger picture here! He is working for our family and I am eternally grateful and amazingly proud! We have been crawling out of debt since he started this job and that is a feat that has been a battle for over six years. We knew coming into this house, that ultimate goal was to get ourselves debt free and we are so close. But the price has been tough. Does that mean we won't get through it? No. We have and will continue, finding a way somehow to keep our connection strong.
I feel like the ultimate solution is to do what I am doing, and find a way to be a stay at home Mom. I will be working, but remotely. I will make this happen because the benefits are so great for my family. This will allow the time we are not getting to be there, the income to remain the same and I will be able to participate more in my children's lives.
I don't know the answers or solution to our issues. I don't even know if anyone else is suffering the same kind of struggles that we are, but I know that we are remaining patient and with our eye on the prize, eliminating our debt, and paying our dues to get to the end of that road. Life is good. We are not struggling, we have everything we need and want right now. We are just learning all over again how to connect with one another.
So, what are we actually doing? I think that they key to any relationship is communication. Try that when you are opposite schedules! We manage though. There are text messages that come through all day long, we talk before I leave for work and before he leaves for work and we definitely do not waste any time fighting or arguing (well most of the time!)
We also have found a way to get some *couple time in, on early mornings. It is a little tricky, since our children have a 4 a.m. built in alarm clock, but that is why God allowed us to have a lock on our door!
Hubby and I also find something funny each day to laugh about. It could be the stupidest thing ever but as long as it makes the other person laugh, it gets put on the table and this seems to help with our connections!
Life is about having FUN and it is amazing to see how we were living our life before our crazy schedules and how serious we once were, to now, we don't have a lot of time together and are still figuring it all out, we truly seem to be happier people. We laugh more around each other and smile a lot, kissing and hugging is a plus too!
I think it is crazy how much we can take those little things for granted until we realize that we don't have all the time in the world! To think back to the days before kids, it was just us. We could talk when we wanted, have sex when we wanted, walk around the house with zero clothes on, scream, yell, laugh, watch movies really Loud, come and go as we please, no matter what time..man I miss those 2 a.m. Walmart or Meijer trips! I hate thinking back to that better place, when we have so much less responsibilities but an grateful for what I have been given in its place. But those gifts from God also come with a price, they are little time suckers!!!
At the end of the day, when I am going to bed alone, I send him a quick text message, asking about his night and letting him know how much I love him and it warms my heart when he text back that he loves me more...
| Quote: Audrey Hepburn *Fav |
~KEL~
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