Are you ready for my Throw Back Thursday?
It's Throw Back Thursday and I wanted to take it back to a few of your Old Boyfriends who left a impact in your life? How about an imprint in your heart? Where are they now and was it a good decision that you did not end up with them?
Today is Thursday. (I am doing a GIGANTIC HAPPY DANCE) It was also a day that proved to be *funny! I picked up my Kiddo's from my Mom's today and we were talking about my girls. (on a side note, I came acrossed Hubby's half sister - who does not live here, nor does she have contact with my Hubby or his Dad) and I was taken back because her eyes are identical to my Daughters. I mean shape/color and it was like looking in a mirror, eye wise that is. They are not similar in ANY other way. I mentioned this to my Mom, who had mentioned something about her looking just like my Hubby more and more everyday. She said that my Daughter's eyes are like my Dad's or like Hubby's Dad's - then (sorry Mom) she says that her eyes are just like my Ex's and his Mom's eyes. I was like "WHAT?" I seriously could not believe she just said that.
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| Top is my Youngest's Eyes/ Bottom is my Oldest's Eyes. |
So what is the big deal with my Daughter's eyes, well they started off Purple when she was first born, then they were bright blue and since have turned a Hazel/Green color with a half ring of Blue (like Hubby) and Brown (like me) and they change all the time. She is very mood oriented! And yes, they are BRIGHT Green when she is a wild one!!!
Well, obviously they are not the same color as Hubby's eyes. We always say that she looks just like Hubby's Mom, who passed away. She really does look just like her! But, Hubby's Dad has Green eyes and Kiddo's mimic's them sometimes also!
But, my Ex. Really? I was speechless and laughing at the same time. Then she tells me to look up said Ex. I was like, "Um, NO!" I have no desire to see how "Big" he has gotten over the 13 -14 years it has been since I last was in contact with him. But, I do find it comical to think that he has changed so much. And no, I am totally NOT curious.
So, that brings me to my Throwback Thursday- Damn it took me a minute to get here! Here is the back story, I was fourteen and just getting back from Hawaii. My Brother was spending a lot of time with Ex's brothers over that summer. I came home, just off the plane and my Mom was determined to take me out to pick up my brother from his house and yes, she had been telling me all about him every time I called home from Hawaii.
So, we meet. Yes, he is cute. I am shy. It is awkward. He asks me for my phone number and later that night we start "talking". I am fourteen after all!
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| Oahu, Hawaii |
We talked throughout the entire summer, everyday. Then, it was back to school and although the love word was tossed around, we both agreed to take it a step back over the school year because we didn't drive and knew we would barely see one another.
I have no idea, nor do I remember, but we kept picking it up when we'd see each other, totally innocent. We started driving at sixteen and would hang out here and there, but still remained casual and innocent. Feelings were there, but we both weren't ready to take the next steps.
Then, I got older, as did he, and on drunk nights, he would be my drunk-dial. He would come over to my BFF's and hang out or take me back to his house, bringing me home the next morning. (totally awkward - his parents were my parents Friends..)
Stuff did happen. The Love word was tossed around a few more times, but it just never seemed to be the right time. After ten years, we finally met up again. I have no idea what happened but I was fed up. I think I had exhausted my waiting patience. He took me to a bar, wanted to get drunk, as usual, and tell me that I was better than him and could do so much better. We argued because I absolutely hate it when people tell me how to feel or what I feel and it finally came out that he wouldn't be with me because he hated my Mom, he always had and always would and couldn't get past it.
I walked away. I never looked back.
When I do look back, like today, it is funny because as much as I thought he was the one, I met Hubby and I knew that he really was The One. Now, to know that my Ex has a girlfriend, who he has three little girls with and still lives in the same house he was living in, in not such a great neighborhood, I know that I choose the right path. I let it go.
I find it funny because I was so in love with his ass for ten years of my life. I let him go and not very long after, Hubby came into my life. He had been my crush the summer after I was with the Ex.
I would like to say that my Ex did leave an imprint on my heart. I loved him so naturally and honestly that it set a standard for those who came into my life after. He also showed me everything I did not want in my love and future. It didn't make sense then, but looking back, it all makes perfect sense.
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I love the path I chose, I love my Hubby and could not image my life with anyone else. And, my oldest is a child between my Hubby and I, and although I know my Mom didn't mean otherwise, it is still funny to look at her and try to see my Ex because she is so much her Daddy, my Hubby, at that same age.
I might not work at home or be a full time Mommy, yet... but I have a great life, a wonderful Hubby and two beautiful children that we made together. I would never want anything else.
I also am lucky because Hubby understands, as do I, that there is always a past, a learning experience, that is a part of my make-up and encourages me to remember and share with my girls, instead of hiding it and acting like it has always been just Him and Me. Those people before one another helped up grow and develop into the people we are today towards one another.
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So, did you choose wisely? Regrets? Or Relief?
Happy Thursday everyone.. Gotta dash- Gray's is on!!
~KEL~
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