Motherhood...it's a gift from God..until Satan shows his face.
You all know what I am talking about. Everything is coming up roses, things are going good, the day is special, even.
Then, it's suddenly bath - time, which you have called out three (3) times now to children who are not listening. You look in the overflowing laundry bin and start thinking in your head that you could get these dirty children in the tub, throw a load of laundry in, only to discover that your dryer is full of clothes that have now been sitting for two (2) days...and your washer is also full. Eek!
This is when yelling, temper tantrum's, door slamming, and foot stomping begins.
And all this M A D N E S S and A N G E R? Well, it wasn't even from the kids. Nope. It was me.
The Mom.
The one who bit off more than she could chew, in that short half-an-hour time span. The one who left those clothes...sitting in the washer AND dryer. The one who broke her kids away from playing nicely and so quiet to jump in the tub, and the one who lost her patience..and mind...thinking it would be a great idea to multi-task. It was me who was loud, obnoxious, and a downright scary human being that entered when I had just had more than I could physically handle.
This is the kind of thing that happens when we allow SATAN in. He literally steals our thunder!
This isn't the mistakes we make that he appears. It isn't forgetfulness, either. He comes when it happens, the things that go on inside that no one else can see coming. And it is he who knows just how to get to you.
He loves it when you yell at the kids. He thrives on you complaining about all the things you need to get done regardless of how many people are in your home. He loves it when you wish you were the Mom wearing Skinny jeans, heels, with great hair and well-behaved kids, who listen.
Satan likes when you ignore your children because your on the phone, or when you hide your true feelings, dreams, and frustrations from your Husband with weak replies like, "I'm fine" or "everything is OK." He knows you feel like this life is out of control, or your not living up to someone else's expectations of how your life should be. Satan loves it when your unstable.
News flash: Satan wants you to fail. He wants you to feel inadequate.
I might as well leave my front door unlocked and let a burglar right in. I mean, why not? I let Satan in, after all.
Then, after all the fussing, nagging and utter exhaustion...I sat with my kids and I did a 360.
I apologized. I was so sorry for my I'll behavior and I meant it. It was a rough day, contrary to their beliefs. These amazing little girls told me they understood, that some days are not good. Can you imagine?
Crocodile tears streamed down my face.
What have I become?
Satan...
My girls worked together to cheer me up. They talked about the dinner we had and how we were laughing and joking. They talked about how we painted outside a few weekends ago and how much fun they had!
The dark cloud of Satan had been turned to the light, banishing him.
(Take That Satan!)
So, for today, I am locking my door, tight. I have banished the evil that once was from my mind, body and soul.
Today, I am thinking of God, who blessed me with two (2) amazing little girls. God, who guides me in the right directions even when I am lost. God, who gave me a Partner, a Best Friend, a Husband, of which I love with all I have.
As for that laundry...I finished it, all.
I took a breath, found some patience, took notes and am working on keeping Satan out of my soul.
This life is yours. It doesn't matter what others think. Do your best, feel good about it, cherish the moments, as they go by fast and capture the memories.
I wish to forget our very bad, horrible half-hour playdate with Satan, in its place putting a happy family with smiles and stress free faces.
Hold your kids tight! Your a great Mom. This gift of motherhood is from the life-giver...not the liar!
And when all else fails, breathe, apologize and remember that tomorrow is another day!
~Kel
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