The MUSIC stopped...

This post is going to be rather boring for those who don't have children, irrelevant to those, perhaps that do.  The purpose of my blog started with these little girls that I get to call my own!  While, I love hitting crazy topics, fun stuff and everything in between, but my sole purpose was to leave something behind for them to have that was ME.  Something that dealt with my feelings, my thoughts, my memories and it was perfect timing as we have this huge old house that is OUR focus! 



So, this post is going to be about my girls. (as many are!)



Thursday, December 18th 2014

You can home from school and I could tell the minute you got off that yellow bus that something was wrong.  You were not quite yourself.  You really have not been this whole week, but today was different.  The air was thick...the world was quiet. 

The MUSIC stopped. 

The Music that is YOU stopped. 



We walked inside the warm house (as it was snowing off and on all day but no accumulation) and you were talking about me not being able to see what was in your folder. I thought it was a Christmas gift for Dad and I, since you said he couldn't look when I suggested that he help you with it. We ordered you upstairs to take care of it.  You said something about it having to stay in there until Monday...  This made us look at each other, your Dad and I and I think it hit us both at the same time...Your BEHAVIOR Chart. 


We needed to see it...demanded to see it and you instantly started to cry.  My poor girl got BLUE... You were on a Green Streak (Green is the best) and have NEVER gotten anything but green.  You were devastated.  I was shocked.  

We did not yell.  We did not reprimand you.  We TALKED.  We knew it has something to do with the bathroom....as your Teacher put Not Making Good Decisions in the Bathroom.  You said your BFF crawled under the stalls into your locked stall while you were going potty and you did not have enough time to get out of the stall before your Teacher came into the bathroom.  Then you said that your Teacher said you were arguing with her.  I bet you were.  You knew that the consequence was not getting Green for the day. 




I must admit that I am trying to believe her.  I feel that if things went down the way she is saying...swearing they did, that this is a little unjust- but maybe she got a warning and argued and had to get Blue?  Our advise to her was if that happens again, tell her BFF that she does NOT want to get in trouble and move to another stall.  




We all moved on.  Her Dad and I, although shocked, moved on.  It really is no big deal, we make a mistake and we learned - all good, right!  









Well, tell that to a sensitive five year old who spent the rest of the night in tears because of this consequence to her actions.  She had a hard time getting to sleep because it was bothering her so much.  As I said, my poor girl!  I tried to tell her that it was a lesson and we learned from it.  I tried to sing "Let it Go" to her and told her to follow Elsa's advice here. 

She woke up this morning still harboring her feelings for her mistake.  

This was one tough lesson to learn, I guess, for her. 

I am proud of her for telling the truth to us, even if she did initially try to HIDE it.  I am a little disturbed that she is  not letting it go and hoping that today, she gets Green and can move on.  I don't want her to be the type of person that seeks perfection and can not handle constructive criticism, if that makes sense.  Feelings were hurt, I get that, she understands why but she strongly believes that she could not have gotten out of the stall before her Teacher came in because she was struggling with the lock.  It is one of those situations where you say I'm sorry and move on because it really is a lose/lose battle!

Lessons learned. 

Plus, it's almost time for the Big Guy to come down the Chimney!  Last day of school/last day of work for Hubby and I and we are in operation tie up the lose ends!

~KEL

My Big Girl- the one who holds the world on her shoulders....

The actions of others DOES matter in this WORLD...

This post is a serious one...one that hurts, one that involves the death of innocent children... One that the news kept brief in my opinion- maybe because it is not on US soil?  Perhaps because US people are not affected, but does that change anything?  

Blood stains the floor of the Pakistan Army Public School in Peshawar, attacked by Taliban Gunman...

I am talking about the latest Taliban Attack on the Pakistan Army Public school.  The images sicken me to my core. Those are children... They are the children of the Pakistan Army, the innocent ones in a society that is seriously EFF'ed up to be quite FRANK.  

148 people dead after being gunned down.  I mean, think about that... They were going about their school day when the Taliban gunman ATTACKED - going into the school and I would say causing chaos but I think more appropriate than that is they KILLED!   They HUNTED.  It gives me chills to even think about it.  To look at the pictures released by the Media is horrific. To think that this is what the violence has come to- killing children.  

The overturned furniture throughout the school and bullet holes puncturing the walls.

They did not stop until they sought death on all.  Including themselves... They took the high road, the easy way out - ANIMALS that they were.  Is torture enough?  Is killing them in cold blood enough for these Taliban Gunman?  I think NOT.  I am outraged, I am hurt, I am grieving for those family..for those mothers who sent their children to school yesterday, not knowing that that was the last time they would see their child.  

I know that some opinions are that this happened in Pakistan, and that they live in violence- but I feel that this is pushing the limits.  

What are they supposed to do? 

I mean, think about it.  There is this group that stops at nothing and kills everything/everyone, trying to overrun the Government and you are STUCK.  You can't come to America...It is not an option....what do you do?   I'll tell you...You try to LIVE a decent life. You join the Pakistan Army and try to stop it, try to find the good...and then YOUR child is killed by those who you thought you were protecting them from. 

Beginning of the 3 day mourning period- declared by Pakistan's Government.

Perspective my friends...

I am showing the media pictures because THIS IS REALITY...It is not TV, it is not some story about a girl who parties to much...It is about DEATH.. It is not kind, it is not easy, it will upset your stomach- but it is real. 

#PeshawarAttack
Words are not needed...powerful image.

Prayers to the families during this awful time.  I don't know, as a Mother, how you go forward.  This is tragedy at its best.

#heavyhearttoday
#theywerechildren
#eyeforeye
#PeshawarAttack

~Kel

Pictures from Reuters/NaveshChitrakar from Yahoo News.

Blog Poster Absent.... it's real people....

Oh my goodness...Pardon my absence, really... Last week, the SHIT hit the fan!  My life went spiraling OUT OF CONTROL and it has literally taken me a week to get back to normal (only to be hit right square between the eyes again this afternoon!) 

I am seriously stressed. I mean, I wish *someone would stop and think that maybe I AM STRESSED!  I think that a certain person ONLY thinks of himself...and forgets that for one, I am NOT a child, and two, I have a lot of stuff on my shoulders too!   I am balancing Home, Job, Kids and trying to get Christmas in order...of which that other person was not a participant at ALL-  I am a little bitter right now, so excuse my tongue lashing. 


Last week I had a falling out with my Bosses Boss...yeah, super fun!  She ripped me up one side and down the other for, as I see it, a mistake that I was unaware of- I would have to be inside her head to know how to read into her emails as she saw the situation.  It wrecked me pretty good.  I actually called in Sick the next day for a "Mental Health" day to lick my wounds. And, if you must ask...NO, I am still not OK, nor do I think the things said...should have been!  But, the end of last week resulted in this person being so disgustingly nice to me in particular...that I am trying to let it go..





I made it to the weekend.  Had a nice evening (or so I thought) with my Hubby on Friday night, since he was home and spent my Saturday baking.

Do you have a Family Tradition around the Holidays?  

Family Cookies 2014

We do...ours is doing cut out sugar cookies. I am not talking six dozen or twelve dozen...we did over twenty dozen cookies!  We then frosted and decorated them.  It was an all day event and it was BRUTAL!  



My kids tried to help, my little one did an awesome job- but my oldest got bored SO fast!  Then, the decorating was a DISASTER!  They were all over the place...licking the spreaders, eating the sprinkles...They had their OWN tray of cookies that are there VERY own.  We could not even send them out- stop spreading germs!

Anyways...we got home (the girls and I) in time to get baths in and get ready for bed.  







At least our Sunday was pretty quiet!  Hubby was working on the tile floor in the Kitchen and Laundry room and might I add- looks awesome! (Excited!)





So, I guess I would have to say that the weekend was a nice one!  A little busy..but nice!

That brings me to TODAY.   I am at the weird part of my Relationship... I don't know if I will get crucified by stating this...but we are at the stage where we are apart so much and when we are together...his temper is short and he is saying I have an attitude or I am acting distant... Hmm..I wonder why!  I feel like I can not say ANYTHING without him getting snapping/grumpy or just treating me like I am stupid or a child.  I keep this shit to myself though.  

I know that is not right either...but better to not wake the sleeping lion...sometimes, right?  I don't want to fight everyday.. I don't want to be told that I am unappreciative..which is crap!  I just wish someone understood me too!  I am tired..I am busy- raising children is not a walk in the park.  I am alone.  Completely and utterly alone in this life and all I want is to be loved... BY HIM.  

He is going through thing with his  body aching -he has arthritis..and I get it - this is the IN Sickness and Health PART- and I am trying...but he wakes up in a BAD mood...I get it, I do..or try to- but I hate that I am the punching bag...(I get a crappy attitude) always the punching bag. I am just trying to help/to be there.. I ask how he is -not to be mean..but to make sure he can handle it, I guess. 

I feel like i should just NOT talk at all.

Frustrating...right!   



I know that this is a test...and I hope that we will overcome this one like we have the rest- but the cycle is getting old.  Being alone is getting old.  

Bad days are GETTING OLD!

Hopefully I wake up to a good day tomorrow... 

Especially since there are 10 days till Christmas! (and my shopping/wrapping is DONE!)

Because I LOVE this- 13 things YOUR Spouse will NEVER tell you:

1. He/she wishes they could hear you say, “Spouse’s Name. I love you,” more often.
2. He/she wishes you could sit down and plan your schedules together, instead of fitting them into whatever is left of your schedule.
3. He/she wants to be involved in your life, but feels shut out (on purpose) or left out (by default).
4. He/she is jealous of the time your job takes or may be thankful for your job, but wishes there was more time to be “us.”
5. He/she longs to hear what they’re doing well. It seems you usually only comment on the negative.
6. He/she wishes you would just listen. Don’t try to fix the situation. Don’t interrupt  with your own ideas or suggestions. Just listen.
7. He/she loves your laugh and smile. Why don’t we laugh together any more? What’s happening to us?
8. He/she wishes you would just be a man/woman of your word. Even in the “little” things like, “I’ll take out the trash before work on Wednesday nights.” Or, “I’ll be home by seven.”
9. He/she is tired of excuses. Couldn’t we both just admit and take responsibility when we make mistakes or forget something?
10. He/she would love to hear about your hopes, dreams, and desires. When did we stop confiding in one another?
11. He/she wonders what you’re doing when you’re not together, and why you are not as open to share your plans as you once were.
12. He/she wonders if you care about yourself more than about them.
13. He/she wishes you could enjoy sexual intimacy without talking about the kids or work in the middle of it. Or just have sex, period!

From: http://u.hd-lives.com/flash/us/index.html?sid=1034&dv1=ad1032-us&kw1=ad1032-us-qyc&uuid=7f3902f5-d585-4c53-5b74-2f4cb7e9c6c5

Thanks for letting me VENT!  

Share your frustrations of LIFE - in the Comment Section!

~Kel

Check me out on Twitter: @KelleyAmstutz

It's Remodel MAYHEM...AGAIN...

I feel like I am ALL over the place lately!  We are in full swing of "gettin' it done" here at Gray Gables and our house is a MESS!  



I am slowly losing my patience and trying to meet everyone needs as they hit me- which is a LOT since I have my Dad here and Hubby and three major projects taking shape. 

Friday night..late night we dove into our Dining room project.  Last week I had my Dad come over and texture my walls for me to match my living room (which still has the original walls).  Hubby and I cracked open the paint cans and got to work- and boy was that a project!  We started around 11:00 p and finished around 4:00 a. WHOA!  But, it was done!  (well, it did need a second coat the next day...but mostly finished)

Then, Saturday night we put the kids to bed and go to work on the furniture - since I have Jacobean style furniture that was from the late 1880's it was amazing to clean off the dust and find pieces that were still looking great! (A Craigslist buy that I begged for after we bought the house) We got everything set up and the rug that I had in the pole barn down and all that is missing is the chandelier!  It looks great and I am so happy! 

Sunday I had the BIG job of dusting the coffer-ed ceilings.  They are dark mahogany and were nothing short of filthy! I have been saying for the past year that I was decorated for Halloween and this was our Haunted house! (it was getting old!)  They turned out amazing and I am so happy with the end result...although it was SHORT lived- as Sunday's project included tiling the kitchen floor (some more of it- cause it still is not done) and everything from the kitchen was haphazardly placed in my fresh dining room....eek

The best part is that while tile is going on in the Kitchen, my Dad is finishing Jason's (and partly his) drywall project that was started in my laundry room- which means that everything from the laundry room has to go into the kitchen.  Basically there is shit everywhere- making me feel like I am getting ready to lose my mind!

AGHHH... At least my lights twinkle to make me feel bright....

What are you doing to prepare for the holidays?  

What are some big projects that you have taken on recently with a crunch time coming up? 

Happy Holidays from Gray Gables...

~Kel

My, how times have changed.

grow up

phrasal verb of grow

1. 1.

   advance to maturity; spend one's childhood and adolescence.

   "I grew up in a small town in Michigan"

There comes a time in your life when you have to Grow Up.  Now, we all know that this has to happen, but how many of us really want to?  

Then...once you have done the grow up part...there comes the realization that life used to be so good for you...what happened? 



I am having that moment...right now!  I get these emails-  I am inundated with them due to the holidays, and I get the bke email: "Tis the season- 60% off.  Wow, I opened only to be reminded of days past...and the sadness that is associated with mourning that time of my life.  

I look at the clothes, the cute handbags and the jeans...all over the $100 dollar mark and think to myself.."Sure, that shirt is so cute but...really...$102 dollars cute?  Uh no.... I could buy 4 shirts for that amount."  ....EEK!  Did I really just think that?  


What happened to the days that I would spend $100 on a pair of jeans without even blinking? Or that Coach purse (which was the popular brand around when I WOKE UP) for over $100?  It was no big deal. And those days were not that far in the past either. 

What happened...well, let me tell you..my priorities shifted and I was no longer on the top of the list. SCARY! I used to have name brand this...name brand that... I would fork over big money and to be honest, it was not always quality either...(name brand)  My Silver jeans were easily in the hundreds and have since been replaced by Seven7 jeans from Groupon that I have managed to buy for $10 a pair. Bargain hunter anonymous is what is needed for this old gal!

This is a far cry from that girl who would not bat an eyelash..right!  Now, I am so super conscious of how I spend and making my dollar stretch that I feel like a plain, old, cheapskate!

Now, my children...on the other hand wear Oshkosh (yes, I do frequent the outlet, which is about an hour away for beginning of the school year shopping) and Levi brand jeans, which are $35 a pair; gap clothes and once upon a time they were deck out in Gymboree. Shoes are always where Hubby and I seem to splurge on both ourselves and our kids. But...that is where the buck stops! It is crazy to think that life has changed SO drastically in just a matter of about 5 years or so. 


Yuck!  

I want my name brand jeans that cost as much as a great set of calphalon pots and pans...I want that handbag that costs as much as a new light bar for over my island...  See..there it is, those priorities that have caused a major shift in our household..not to mention those kids we have!  I don't think I have ever bought so many pairs of PJs until recently..when my oldest outgrew all hers and then we have this twinning thing going on where our girls want to dress alike...all the time...EEK!  Mama don't have it like that ladies! (L.O. is on hand me downs still...thank goodness!)

What are some things that you DO splurge on? 

 What are things you hold back on buying? 

What are some things you used to pay top dollar/had to have money for?  

What caused the shift?  

How do you justify your purchases? 

I splurge on stuff for our house... I think that biggest thing lately is Christmas stuff.  I just feel like I have a vision of what I want stuff to look like and it still hasn't taken shape. I have been holding off on buying stuff thought until we get better sales. (holding back!)

I justify my purchases with the old questions:  Do I NEED it -or-  Do I just WANT it?  Is it worth it? Can I find a better PRICE?

Being a grown up is hard work and man...the sacrifices just don't stop!

Please share! 
~Kel

Gray Gables Gab

Friday, December 5th 2014

Hi all!

Well, I seem to be full of Celebrity gossip these days...maybe I always have been but lately it seems that I am pulling my poor Hubby into this gossip...Thanks Hubby for listening!  He suggested that I change up my format and add a GAB post to my blog once a week...so I can UNLOAD....

It's all good. I appreciate Hubby for putting up with my fantasy world!  Now I know I can share here and kind of disappointed that I did not think of it!

Anywhoo...here goes..

Topic #1- Let's talk Bill Cosby..

Oh my gawd....seriously what is going on with all these woman.  I don't really know what to think because I have not been in their shoes, but I find it odd that after ALL those years they choose now to come out and talk about rape and roofies.  I don't want to discredit them, but it seems like this should have come to the forefront before the man was in his late seventies...right?  There is so much talk about how people are now not fans of Bill Cosby and how an abused woman holds her grief in...I get it to a degree.  I also heard the story of the woman who tried to take legal action and was paid off, so I am not discrediting their stories...but what do they have to gain at this point and time?  Bill Cosby has done JELLO commercials for years...he has stayed in the spotlight for all this time...WHY NOW?




As for the fans turning their back on Bill...remember people, we can't confuse BILL COSBY with Healthcliff Huxtable- they are not one in the same.  I am sure that Bill is paying for his sins...if this is true. (see what I did there...I am not siding with anyone!)

Please share your thoughts and perspective here, because I would LOVE to hear it!!

Topic #2- Upcoming Movies- I am all in!

1. Dad's Army- This is a WWII comedy where Catherine Zeta Jones plays a reporter.  A group of hapless volunteers are in search of a spy as glamorous journalist, Rose Winters, played by Zeta Jones, is sent to Walmington-on-Sea to write about the exploits of the Home Guard.






2. Bone Tomahawk- a Western Horror movie.  The movie starts Kurt Russell as a sheriff who, with Patrick Wilson, Matthew Fox, and Richard Jenkins- set out to rescue a group of captives from a band of cannibalistic troglodytes.






3. The Nice Guys- The story, set in the 1970s Los Angeles, follows a private eye (Ryan Gosling) and a hired leg breaker (Russell Crowe) who must work together to solve the case of a missing girl and the seemingly unrelated death of a porn star.  Kim Basinger appears in the film also, as a chief justice with dubious interests.






4. The Blunderer- a psychological thriller based on the 1954 Patricia Highsmith novel starting Jessica Biel who plays a jealous wife who meets an unfortunate fate.  **This movie was shot in Cincinnati, Ohio!  Go OH- IO!





5. Wild- based on Cheryl Strayed's bestselling memoir stars Reece Witherspoon who hikes more than 1,100 miles alone on the Pacific Crest Trail, trying to defeat the elements while being chased by memories of bad life decisions and a stale relationship with her mother.  (c'mon...anything with Reece Witherspoon- Yes Please!)




Topic #3- Surprising news

From People.com

Did you know that Cameron Diaz (we love her cause her name is Cameron.) is engaged to Benji Madden.  Love me some Madden boys!   I guess there are rumors that she is sporting an engagement ring.  The two are not confirming...but I would marry him Cameron! 






Topic #4- Speaking of Marriage


I am part of the generation that started watching reality TV and now...I am hooked.  But, in the beginning, it was The Real World and Jersey Shore that tuned me in every week...sadly!  So, I think that I need to give a Congrats to Snookie and Jionni!  They finally...tied the knot on NOvember 29th.  I am happy to watch Snookie & JWow and see how much these two girls have grown and happy to see Nicole so HAPPY.



Topic #5- Real World


Sad news about Ryan Knight from Real World: New Orleans.  He was found dead on November 27th in Wisconsin.  No known cause of death yet, but he was only 28 years old.  Condolences go to his family!





Topic #6- TV world
Oh, it's Christmas time and that means HOLIDAY movies all over the place. (except last night...the line up was WEAK!)

Here are some of the movies on TV and TV shows that have my attention:

From Sheknows- Blog spot!  Thank You!

Lifetime Holiday Movie Schedule:

Friday, December 5, 2014

10P     Crazy for Christmas

Saturday, December 6, 2014

8P       Wishin’ and Hopin’

10P     Dear Santa

Sunday, December 7, 2014

12A     Wishin’ and Hopin’

2A       Dear Santa

9P       The Red Tent

Monday, December 8, 2014

1A       The Red Tent

Saturday, December 13, 2014

8P       The Santa Con

Sunday, December 14, 2014

12A     The Santa Con

7P       Wishin’ and Hopin’

Monday, December 15, 2014

1A       The Santa Con

8P       Christmas on the Bayou

10P     Love at the Christmas Table

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

12A     Christmas on the Bayou

2A       Love at the Christmas Table

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

10P     Dear Santa

Thursday, December 18, 2014

2A       Dear Santa

Friday, December 19. 2014

8P       A Nanny for Christmas

10P     The Merry In-Laws

Saturday, December 20, 2014

12A     A Nanny for Christmas

2A       The Merry In-Laws

The Red Tent- Lifetime December 7th and 8th at 9:00 pm.
The Red Tent is a movie based on Anita Diamant's novel, Tent, and spins out a feminist supplement to several key chapters of the Old Testament.  The heart of the story imagines the life of Jacob and Leah's daughter Dinah, who merits only a brief mention in Genesis.  Here we see her as a  competent midwife who, after a tragic romance and estrangement from her family, winds up in Egypt.

Thanks all!

Happy Friday!

 with ~Kel