Life at Gray Gables: Blog Poster Absent.... it's real people....

Oh my goodness...Pardon my absence, really... Last week, the SHIT hit the fan! My life went spiraling OUT OF CONTROL and it has literally taken me a week to get back to normal (only to be hit right square between the eyes again this afternoon!)

I am seriously stressed. I mean, I wish *someone would stop and think that maybe I AM STRESSED! I think that a certain person ONLY thinks of himself...and forgets that for one, I am NOT a child, and two, I have a lot of stuff on my shoulders too! I am balancing Home, Job, Kids and trying to get Christmas in order...of which that other person was not a participant at ALL- I am a little bitter right now, so excuse my tongue lashing.

Last week I had a falling out with my Bosses Boss...yeah, super fun! She ripped me up one side and down the other for, as I see it, a mistake that I was unaware of- I would have to be inside her head to know how to read into her emails as she saw the situation. It wrecked me pretty good. I actually called in Sick the next day for a "Mental Health" day to lick my wounds. And, if you must ask...NO, I am still not OK, nor do I think the things said...should have been! But, the end of last week resulted in this person being so disgustingly nice to me in particular...that I am trying to let it go..

I made it to the weekend. Had a nice evening (or so I thought) with my Hubby on Friday night, since he was home and spent my Saturday baking.

Do you have a Family Tradition around the Holidays?

Family Cookies 2014

We do...ours is doing cut out sugar cookies. I am not talking six dozen or twelve dozen...we did over twenty dozen cookies! We then frosted and decorated them. It was an all day event and it was BRUTAL!

My kids tried to help, my little one did an awesome job- but my oldest got bored SO fast! Then, the decorating was a DISASTER! They were all over the place...licking the spreaders, eating the sprinkles...They had their OWN tray of cookies that are there VERY own. We could not even send them out- stop spreading germs!

Anyways...we got home (the girls and I) in time to get baths in and get ready for bed.

At least our Sunday was pretty quiet! Hubby was working on the tile floor in the Kitchen and Laundry room and might I add- looks awesome! (Excited!)

So, I guess I would have to say that the weekend was a nice one! A little busy..but nice!

That brings me to TODAY. I am at the weird part of my Relationship... I don't know if I will get crucified by stating this...but we are at the stage where we are apart so much and when we are together...his temper is short and he is saying I have an attitude or I am acting distant... Hmm..I wonder why! I feel like I can not say ANYTHING without him getting snapping/grumpy or just treating me like I am stupid or a child. I keep this shit to myself though.

I know that is not right either...but better to not wake the sleeping lion...sometimes, right? I don't want to fight everyday.. I don't want to be told that I am unappreciative..which is crap! I just wish someone understood me too! I am tired..I am busy- raising children is not a walk in the park. I am alone. Completely and utterly alone in this life and all I want is to be loved... BY HIM.

He is going through thing with his body aching -he has arthritis..and I get it - this is the IN Sickness and Health PART- and I am trying...but he wakes up in a BAD mood...I get it, I do..or try to- but I hate that I am the punching bag...(I get a crappy attitude) always the punching bag. I am just trying to help/to be there.. I ask how he is -not to be mean..but to make sure he can handle it, I guess.

I feel like i should just NOT talk at all.

Frustrating...right!

I know that this is a test...and I hope that we will overcome this one like we have the rest- but the cycle is getting old. Being alone is getting old.

Bad days are GETTING OLD!

Hopefully I wake up to a good day tomorrow...

Especially since there are 10 days till Christmas! (and my shopping/wrapping is DONE!)

Because I LOVE this- 13 things YOUR Spouse will NEVER tell you:

He/she wishes they could hear you say, “Spouse’s Name. I love you,” more often.
He/she wishes you could sit down and plan your schedules together, instead of fitting them into whatever is left of your schedule.
He/she wants to be involved in your life, but feels shut out (on purpose) or left out (by default).
He/she is jealous of the time your job takes or may be thankful for your job, but wishes there was more time to be “us.”
He/she longs to hear what they’re doing well. It seems you usually only comment on the negative.
He/she wishes you would just listen. Don’t try to fix the situation. Don’t interrupt with your own ideas or suggestions. Just listen.
He/she loves your laugh and smile. Why don’t we laugh together any more? What’s happening to us?
He/she wishes you would just be a man/woman of your word. Even in the “little” things like, “I’ll take out the trash before work on Wednesday nights.” Or, “I’ll be home by seven.”
He/she is tired of excuses. Couldn’t we both just admit and take responsibility when we make mistakes or forget something?
He/she would love to hear about your hopes, dreams, and desires. When did we stop confiding in one another?
He/she wonders what you’re doing when you’re not together, and why you are not as open to share your plans as you once were.
He/she wonders if you care about yourself more than about them.
He/she wishes you could enjoy sexual intimacy without talking about the kids or work in the middle of it. Or just have sex, period!