Thursday, August 7, 2014

15 signs that HE is Husband Material -or- 8 signs that you've found your WIFE!

It's August and I was reading an article recently about the 15 signs that HE is husband material.  It made me want to look at what makes ME wife material?  So, I made a list, both sides for both of my readers to look at you and your spouse and see what makes you compatible. 


Not going to lie, after being with someone for 13 years, I kind of think that we have crossed this threshold already, but doesn't mean I don't find it Entertaining!

So, let's get started, shall we..

Husband Material: the top 15 signs that HE should be your Husband:

So, you've been dating for a bit of time and your starting to think that "Hey, maybe I should spend the rest of my life with him."  It's a pretty BIG decision, isn't it.  It can be scary to think about it in terms of responsibility and the grand scheme of life and all.  
I think I might call it, Life Changing.  But, how do you know?  I mean, how do you really know that he is husband material.  Can you really ever know?  Well, here are 15 random signs that your headed in the right direction!

1) He indulges your guilty pleasures.  I am talking chocolate ladies!  He worked all day, comes in, places chocolate, which he doesn't like or eat, on the table and yes, it's your favorite! He could have just walked in and walked away, to his man cave after a long day at work.

2. He brags about you to anyone who will listen.  I mean, he is with a group of his friends and he brings up something that you do, something that you think he secretly knows their girlfriends/wives don't do.  If he talks you up to his friends, family, or even his Mom. This means that he thinks you are amazing! 


3. He loves your...(cats/dog/bunny)... Or at least pretends too.  

4. He likes your brand of crazy! You all know what I am talking about! You can claim not to have any crazy, but we all know better!  A guy who sticks around, even when you are being completely irrational or bitchy is definitely husband material.  He understands that he can be a pain in the butt, too and you get each other!

5. He goes with you to visit family, even if your Grandpa is in the nursing home. Because he gets that you seeing Grandpa in the home breaks your heart and he wants to be supportive, even engaging in conversations with Grandpa, even if he had heard the stories all  before once or twice, maybe three times!

6. He fights fair. If he can take a step back and find his voice of reason even when you are having your worst fight ever!  then he is husband material.  Maybe he even suggests couples therapy, even though he was anti shrink but went to the appointments anyways, this shows that he is stepping up and committed.


7. He remembers to do things you love in...bed.  Don't start blushing, but ladies you know what I am talking about here.  If he wants you to have fun as much as he is having fun, that shows that he is unselfish in your relationship!

8. He makes you laugh! He has that one dance move that of course, he has to do at weddings, in front of everyone- that makes you roll your eyes and shake your head in embarrassment! You know you secretly love it and will remember it later and laugh! 

9. He is not jealous.  A guy who is husband material understands you and that when you are in a committed relationship, you are not suddenly going to be drawn to another man based on attractiveness.  He trusts you.  Imagine that!

10.  He understands that space is good, sometimes!  Healthy couples live their own lives, allowing them to share the things that happened in the others absence. 

11. Supports you...in any new "life" callings you might have. This week it is Yoga.  You have taken a few Yoga classes and now it is something you are simple obsessed with. He is husband material if he is supporting what you are into..even if it is for a split second!

12. He writes a song about you.  If he is in a band and pens a song about you as your heart starts swelling in your chest, until you almost can't breathe, or if its an on the fly song to the beat on the radio and completely silly, with the same side effects, you know he is husband material.. C'mon admit it, it totally makes you swoon!

13. He's Game.  A guy who is husband material makes you do things outside of your comfort zone, adding to your bucket list. You know that he is secretly terrified too!

14. In fact, he is willing to try anything with you, no matter how odd or terrifying.  That is saying something huge in guy language! I mean, he feels totally uneasy about going on the cars above Cedar Point with you, but he does it, even if his knuckles are white on the edge of the car! (true story)

15. You just know it.  Sometimes, even when you are so fuming mad, frustrated and at your wits end with him, you remember just one of these things and are suddenly overcome with a massive wave of love.  When he is husband material, guess what?  You just know!


8 Signs YOU should make her YOUR WIFE!


Let's turn the tables now-  Men, we all know you can't live with US, and you can't live without US- it's a catchy aphorism, but it's useless, right!   If you can't live without a woman, or with her for that matter, then you're basically screwed!  

Lucky for you, it is possible to form a bond with a lover strong enough to last a lifetime! 

What is the trick, you ask....well, you need to understand whether or not the woman is a keeper!  While each man will be attracted to a different type of woman, I have a few signs that you might pay close attention to help aid in finding the right one. 

The goal, for everyone, men and women, is to get married once, right!  So here are a couple ways to know that the woman you have chosen will be the last one you will ever need:

1. You trust her.  Trust is critical in any relationship! There is no point wasting time with someone that you can not trust, right.  What's most important to keep in mind is how fragile the trust between two people are- especially two people are intimately involved with one another. 
When trust is broken, pain is the replacement. The more a person trusts, the more he or she cares, and the more it will hurt once trust is broken.  It can literally take an eternity to heal that pain. 
So, if you found a girl, whom you trust entirely, and more importantly, a woman who you can't imagine breaking that trust, then you might have found the one.

2. She is a positive force in your life.  This is so important. You do not want someone who focuses on the negative or is a bad influence on your life or your decisions in your life. When you are in love, it can be hard to understand how another person impacts your life.  Call it your Rose Colored Glasses,  if you will! 


There are people in your life who will support you, criticize you constructively, and help you to learn.  Then there are those who will point out flaws in such a negative way that it is perfectly evident that they wish to hurt you. 

If you lady is the latter, break away soon, pain and misery is all this type of relationship will bring you.

3. She believes in you, motivates you!  It is hard to stay motivated day in and day out. Finding ways to motive yourself can be daunting, to say the least!  However, finding the right woman to help motivate you can make all the difference between what is a dream and what is a failure.  The woman who motivates you both actively and passively to be, and to do, better is the ideal woman. 

The greatest gift a woman can give to a man is to give him a reason to be a better man.

4. Life is better with her, rather than without her.  It sounds so cle-shay, I know, but look for a woman who adds to your life and marry her.  You do not want the woman who simply takes away from it, do you? This requires putting emotions to the side.  Your emotions can lead you to believe that you need a woman that, in reality, you would be better without. (sorry to be so frank!)  You need to step back and decide whether your life is better or worse with her as a part of it!

5. She never makes excuses when you need her.  You need to be able to depend on your spouse, and although this goes hand in hand with Trust, it is important. Can you depend on your woman?  Will she be there for you when you are at your best and at your worst?  Will she stand by your side when the waters run deep?  You need to be careful because some woman are more interested in what you can do for them than what you mean to them.

6. Intimacy is on fire!  Physical chemistry is necessary for a marriage to work.  If sex is bad, you will have a difficult time being happy within the partnership, hands down.  

Some people say that they don't mind sex.  Maybe because they have never had mind-blowing sex before?  Ignorance is bliss?  Why settle for anything less though?

7. You both want the same things in life.  Is this not important?  It is almost critical in a relationship and often overlooked until it is to late.  To love a woman is easy, especially when you are not fully underestimating her.  To understand her, you have to know what she wants out of life. Right?
What does she want to do in life?  What are her accomplishments? Goals? Dreams? 

To often we think of ourselves as compatible, but when push comes to shove, we realize that one person's thinking is not like the others.  Communication plays a key role here.  It's difficult to spend your life with someone when the paths you need to take are separate.

8. Love is deep.  Make sure that you understand what loving deeply means! To love deeply is to love twofold- it's to love romantically and to love in the form of agape. 


To truly love each other is to love not only the person as an individual, but to love what that person means to you. 

A common definition of Love, to love unconditionally, is wrong!  We all love conditionally whether we admit it or not. 

The deepest love is a love that can combine unconditional and conditional love to form a bond that can not be broken by outside force- a mutual love that can last the test of time.


I think that lastly, for both Men and Women, it is important to find that person who is your lover and your best friend. I think that the person that I spend my days with is the person who I can't wait to tell all my secrets to, who I get excited to let know about this or that as it happens in my day and the person who I can fall asleep on without even thinking about it. 


~Kel

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