by: Kel Amstutz
Are you happy?
Are you struggling?
Maybe a mix of both?Learning HOW to be happy with yourself, in the moment is a great gift. Each moment, including the present is a gift. If you are not happy with yourself, your body, your family balance, your financial situation, you can become insecure. If you think that you are not good enough you will begin to fear rejection, feel lonely, and take on many other negative thoughts.
WHY IT AFFECTS EVERYTHING
Let's go with self esteem. You are not happy with your body. You think you are too fat, or perhaps too skinny. You see a flabby tummy, or stretch marks. If we use this example, this mindset, you are unhappy with your body, OK. What does that do to you? Well, you might be jealous of others. You might find yourself worried that you are not attractive enough to keep your spouse, or maybe you will feel that your body will affect intimacy.
If you are not happy with your body, you might not want to look at it. You might obsessively under eat or begin binge eating, which makes you feel even worse about yourself. You might overeat junk food to overshadow your unhappy thoughts, which make your health an issue. Or maybe you take on shopping, making yourself feel better but causing debt or buyers remorse.
The possible scenario's are endless, but you get the general idea.
WHY WE'RE LIKE THIS
There is not just ONE answer to this question. It is a build up that includes a lot of reasons!
The media. We watch beautiful celebrities with perfect faces, stomachs, hair, thighs, abs, chests, booties- all over the place. We see them on the Internet, TV, Movies, in magazines. Everywhere. We are comparing ourselves to an illusion. Why would we need to like these illusions? Why can't we be like ourselves? Why can't WE be ideal?
The comments section. When friends, family members, co-workers, spouses make innocent comments perhaps about our booties, boobs, etc. that settle in and we find ourselves feeling bad. These comments are small but they can hit our self-esteem very hard.
Childhood. In our childhoods, maybe our parents comment on certain things that stick with us, making us feel bad. Perhaps our parents got a divorce, maybe Dad was never around- maybe Dad left Mom, maybe she wasn't good enough for him. By extension this can transpire into you are not good enough for someone?
Failures. Everyone makes mistakes. They say 'To error is to be human' but perhaps we have made some mistakes and failed at some things that we tried very hard to accomplish. Everyone does it, but when we do it, we take it to heart.
Spiral of negative thoughts. One bad thought can lead to another, and then another, until we have a bundle of BAD thoughts that become our self-image. This negative self-image can affect everything that we do. This self-image and these bad thoughts are NOT us- they are things that HAPPEN to us or within us, but we don't let them become us. We can cope with these thoughts, we can turn them into a positive, into gratitude, and even into happiness.
HOW TO: GET HAPPY NOW!
Getting into a more happy and healthy place NOW is all about practice and commitment. Of course, this will NOT be an instant effect, it will take a while because our self-images can not transform overnight, it took years, perhaps to find and fill with this unhappiness, after all.
But, here is a trick that I learned from someone near and deal:
1. Make a MENTAL MOVIE.
Pretend you have a movie that you play in your mind. The movie is about who we are. You have a flabby tummy, you are fat, you are too skinny, you aren't disciplined, you aren't lovable, you don't earn enough income, you aren't good at ANYTHING.
Start to pay attention when this movie starts playing- it affects everything that you do.
Now, realize that this movie IS NOT YOU. This movie is just playing in your mind. Realize that it is NOT true. This is NOT based on your reality. Realize that this movie CAN BE CHANGED!
2. Start to EDIT your movie.
It is time to base the movie on reality. Do not let your fears from childhood or illusions from celebrities or comments others have made affect this movie. Instead, it should be based on the FACT that you are a GOOD person who is loving, kind, beautiful, passionate. This might not be what you think about yourself, but let's make the movie like this anyhoo.
Ask others why you're lovable. (look for those who might give kind answers) Use these images in your new movie. When negative images start to pop up, edit them to the cutting room floor and tell them that they have NO PLACE in your production!
3. Play the new movie in your conscience.
Put this new movie in your mind often and play it.
You need to realize that you are PERFECT- just the way you are. You do not need to buy things in order to feel happy. You have healing powers locked inside of YOU. You just need practice!
Comment below and share a little about how you find happiness in your daily life!
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I strongly recommend my eBook, The Social Media Manager Kit by Kel (w/ bonus) in order to get you started. It will include templates for emailing potential clients or those you landed a completed job with, it will allow you to focus and challenge you to keep moving forward.
This life, working at home, being financial free and with my family, is something that I used to dream about.
- I am living it.
- I am loving it.
- I am making it my life!
Need More Help?
Check out my eBook, Make your Dream a Reality in 30 Days or Less! - a jump start guide with templates to get you ready, set and ROCKING this Social Media Manager gig!