30 Day Challenge- Day #22- How have you changed in the past 2 Years?

Day #22- How have you changed in the past  2 Years?

This is when I say, Ooooh, good question!

The past two years have been crazy.  We, obviously, had a baby around 2 years ago, we bought a crap ass house that we are still fixing up (I say that because it only someone could have seen this place when we first looked at it- OMG, it was in BAD shape) and we were starting our Parental drama around this time. That is just some of the stressful things I was dealing with.  I was still a pretty fresh Mama, learning to deal with a 2 yo and Newbie, pretty much on my own, while I also worked full time. Hubby was dedicated to the new house and putting in hours, he was also putting in epoxy floors here and there and would be gone for 18 hour days. It  was crazy.

I handled a lot of stuff better with Baby #2 then #1, but it was still stressful. I also started getting White Hairs popping up in my head around this time.  My 2 yo was acting out real bad also. - I think back and wonder how I survived...better yet, how did she? Whoa, those were rough times.  I read a lot of self help books on parenting and tried a lot of different parenting techniques with her.  She is the child that doesn't care how you feel, what affect her actions have on you, she is going to do it because she wants to and that is that. Very Stubborn. (my other one is very much the opposite- she worries about my feelings- requiring totally different parenting styles)

I think that I can honestly say that I have mellowed since then.  I take each day at a time and I have really let go of the reins on my schedule. (Yes, I was the schedule Nazi Mom)  I let a lot of stuff roll and stop and think before I react (learn by mistakes) - and I also take Mommy Time Outs.  Its a surprise to me that I do not drink!

I was very uptight and TIRED back then, so I was not a stellar wife. I haven't been for a while now and that was one of my new years resolutions. I am working on this- day by day! Who knew being a Better Wife was so tough.  I think that I have relaxed in our relationship as well- in a good way.  I try to not resent all the burdens of my life and react in a negative way towards him and remember the little things- not pointing them out when/if he doesn't notice.  I also have been learning how to be a better listening and engage in the conversation. (even if I have no idea what he is talking about when it comes to a part on a car!)

I have changed my looks.  Revamped my wardrobe- which is ever changing.  I get on my workout/eat right kicks a lot- which is new for me (damn these 2 kids killing my body!)

As a person, I have come out of my shell a little.  I am still VERY shy, but I am determined and get pretty vocal.  I also have learned that I do not like to be told when/how to do things, say things etc.  I am desperetly trying to be ME and my own person.

The best parts of me are Hubby and my girls.  I live for my ladies. I am a Mom.

Birthday Party- Syndrome...

Today we celebrated my kiddo's 5th Birthday- equipped with Frozen Birthday cake and all.  We were supposed to start at Noon- but, unfortunately, Mother Nature had her own ideas.  We had to postpone until after two. But, none the less, the party must go on, it isn't everyday that my kiddo will be five, right!

(Ok, so we have been celebrating since Tuesday - longest birthday EVER!)

So, we delayed for weather- then, the unthinkable happened.  I knew something was up because the past few days my downstairs has been COLD! At night- it has been COLD. I really didn't think anything of it because I assumed the FCE was kicking on.  Apparently, I am a moron. It was registering 47* - are you effin' kidding me! I was in PANIC mode.  Then, Hubby tells me that when he got home this morning it was throwing a code and he was up late trying to reset it. Say, What?

So, we had to call off the party. What a day!  Anyways, shortly there after, and a frustrated Hubby taking a bit of agitation out of me and my only question- "So, you don't know what is wrong with it?" and his reply, " Um, No, I am not a furnace guy so I don't. Just cancel the effin' party." This is where I walked away. Disappointed.

Then, he figured it out. - And he said he wasn't a furnace guy... ha.  Then it was getting the temp up, to a comfortable 68* which is where it usually sits down there while upstairs is a modest 73*.  This house is crazy!

But, all in all, the Party MUST go on.. And it did. Our guests started to arrive at 2:15 PM, pizza delivered by 2:45 PM promptly.  We ate, we talked, presents were open (and good ones- Thank you EVERYONE!) and Cake was cut.  Oh, don't forget that Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and Superman Ice Cream!

I think she had a great party.  Her BFF was here too. They dressed up like Frozen Characters and it was a blast.

Now, they are tucked into bed, toys put away (yes, all of them had to be opened tonight- DUH!) and I am settling in for my season's return of The Walking Dead and I can not wait!  (Insert SCREAM here- with Jumping Up and Down- ok, arms are flalling too...)

Now it is time to start planning a Minnie Mouse Party for a BIG 3rd Birthday... Whew, I am so glad it is NOT until April...

30 Day Challenge- Day #21- One of your Favorite Shows

Day #21- One of your Favorite Shows

I am an advid TV watcher, I totally confess.  I usually have a line up in the fall.  I have a lot of Favorites but I have one show that changed my life.  Drumroll please.... That show being, One Tree Hill. 

Ok, Stop Laughing! I started watching this show when it first aired, I had just started dating my Hubby.  I was mesmorized by the characters.  I loved the North Carolina setting and just pretty fresh out of High School myself, I could relate.

I watched this show through my marriages, which it just so happened that Nathan and Hailey were getting hitched around the same time.  I watched through my first born, which Nathan and Hailey were having Jaime around the same time.  I just watched.  I laughed, I cryed (alot!) and I just became "friends" with the cast.  I hated when it ended.  I will admit one other thing- I have every season on DVD. True Story.

On a side note, I loved watching Christmas on the Bayou and seeing Hilary and Tyler together.  I know it wasn't Hailey, but it was just a reminder of what once way at Tree Hill.  I also saw another show, I am blanking on what it was, and the cast was together there also. -Darn it, old age sucks!

Man, I think I am going to have to put in the DVD's now- walk down memory lane.

(I know Hubby is so proud right now...um, not)

Miss them..

Today is my Baby's 5th Birthday!

I can not believe that my Hubby and I have a 5 year old!!  Of course, my little lady wants a FROZEN party and finding Frozen party stuff was nothing short of a NIGHTMARE!  Luckily, i was able to find plates, table clothes and such online- or we would be doing plain white paper plates- ain't that cute!
But have no fear, super Mom is here!  Found everything we needed,cheaper than the stores- now if it could just get here!

I remember that day my Girl was born like it was just yesterday!
Time is moving to fast.

Baby Girl,
I am SO proud of you and the girl you are becoming!
You are a star in the dark sky, twinkling brighter than all the rest. 

Who LOVES old school movies? How many have you watched in the past 2 days?

I love old movies that I haven't seen in a long time and I am SO pleased to say that last night I was able to catch "Practical Magic" - and yes, it made me tear up. I hate it when her Hubby dies and she wants her Aunts to bring him back.
Tonight, I was able to watch "He's just not that into you" - I think that is the title. 

Why is it that we love to catch these old flicks? 

I don't watch movies often.  I still have "The Great Gatsby" sitting in the plastic that I have had since the beginning of December. (how sad- and I LOVE Leo- he looks/reminds me of my Hubby so MUCH)

I have my all-time fav- "Sweet Home Alabama"- could NOT even tell you how many times I have watched it.  I literally know the words to each and every frame.

Hope I can find some others this weekend- makes me feel giddy!!!

30 Day Challenge- Day #20 How Important you think Education is

Day #20 How Important you think Education is

I know a lot of you are saying, seriously, she is still at this 30 day challenge.. I know, right. It seems as if it is talking FOREVER!  But we are at day 20- so we are almost there... Then, sadly enough, I have another one I am dying to break into!

Anyhooo- Education.  Well, this is going to be a shocker!  I went to college for 4 years, yes, 4 entire years, in the Education field. It wasn't until the second semester of my 4th year that I had just finished with a hard nosed professor who basically in not so nice terms, told me that I would never amount to anything being a teacher, that I broke down and panicked to say the least. 

I had almost all of my English Core knocked out and Social Studies and was super pumped- until that.  The saddest thing is that I went to class everyday, did all my assignments with my whole heart and my good friend nailed everything but never went to class and her assignments were ALWAYS late. He adored her. Blah.

So, needless to say, Point Kel.. Education was my life at one point.  I have a passion for it.  I think that it is essential to be anyone now a days.  My children started with basics with me as early as age 2 and we work with workbooks and ABC Mouse to help learn the fundamentals.  I enjoy it also. 

This fall is a big one for our family, my 5 yo will be starting Kindergarten.  I am totally scared to death!  It is a big step and I am freaking out because I miss PreK so much now with working that I am determined to work at home to be able to take her to school and pick her up and be apart of her life during her education. I think that it is important for me to be one of those Moms who is active in the schools and who can have the time to delegate towards homework help.

I have thought a lot about going back to school to finish my teaching certifications but every time I get going something comes up and it always gets pushed to the back burner.  I am like that with a lot of things. I put my own stuff on hold to make sure my family is tended to. I just started some education recently online and I am making time for it.  I think it is important to show my kids that I am trying to be a better person. I am trying to find my dreams and make them reality and it takes work and dedication, but hopefully it pays off in the end.

30 Day Challenge- Day #19 Disrespecting your Parents.

Day #19- Disrespecting your Parents

How fitting, wouldn't you say!  I have been having a lot of "issues" with my Parents over the past 2 years and during this time I have heard them harp on how DISRESPECTFUL my Hubby and Myself are to them.  I don't really know what their definition of Disrespectful is, because, frankly, I think that if nothing else, we have been nothing but respectful.  They have tried to run our show on this entire project and by us voicing our opinions/wants/dreams- we are acting disrespectfully towards them. I still feel anger and laughter by this because these past two years have been nothing short of HELL and they have no idea that they are behind that agony.

I have in the past perhaps been disrespectful towards my parents.  I used to fight with my Mom constantly, to the point that I HAD TO MOVE OUT to help both of our sanity. We just never got along.  I think it has something to do with the Controlling aspects of her personality, if I might say.  I don't like to be controlled. Amazing, right!  I like to make my own mistakes, live my own life, experience things for myself.  I have never been one to not do something because they told me not to.  I was 18 and I had a set of wheels- but it really wasn't mine- it was still my parents and my Mom never let me forget it.  Well, I was working, and I really wanted my OWN car. I was paying for my gas and insurance and really wanted the added responsibility of a car payment- I know, dumb kid, right!  My Mom wanted to sell the car I was driving, so we went to look at Chevy Cavaliers.  She was so NOT on board.  She just wanted to harp about how good I have it and she is making sure that I don't have to have this type of responsibility.  I had to BEG and she was still adamant, NO!  Well, then there was my OLD Dad.  I say that because the Dad I had then was not the Dad I have now.  He is the same man- just not the same guy I grew up with...  He was all for it- he even stepped up to co-sign for me when my Mom said NO.
That was the BEST thing I ever did!  Yes, I had bills. Yes, I had to work.  But it made me work harder, I knew I had to pay those bills.  Plus, I no longer gave my Mom the leverage of holding the car over my head.  I did great with it, made every payment and at the end of my Lease Agreement, I handed the keys over and walked away, into another car payment and a car that I got all on my own!
I guess, in a way, I had Disrespected my Mom in this case. But, I also bettered myself in the process. I prepared myself, handled my responsibilities and even made the way for how i handle my bills/responsibilities today.

This is tough to handle thinking of myself as a Parent though.  I only have a 5 YO and 2 YO, but they are growing up everyday.  I am at the stage where we are "learning" what is respectful and disrespectful.  I have been trying to teach my 5yo to watch her tone and attitude and instilling in her that she would not like for me to talk to her like that so therefore she should talk to me how she would like me to talk to her.  I think that the whole respect thing does go both ways. After all, right now, I am the example.

Let's see where we are in 5 more years with Disrespecting Parents- me being the Parent!!!

30 Day Challenge- Day 18- Your Beliefs

Day #18- Your Beliefs

Oh, this one is another one of those controversial questions!  I do believe in GOD.  I do not practice the whole Church thing.  I do believe in what the Democrats stand for, however, I do not believe in all of what they say.  I try to stay opened eared to both sides and usually end up somewhere in between, but favor Democrats and what they stand for a bit more.
I do believe in GUNS. I hold my CCW with pride. I know how to handle my firearm, taking the 12 hour class and practicing, learning about my firearm and others. I will protect myself if need be.  I will protect my family if need be. 
I do believe in an eye for an eye, but I do believe in getting all- ALL the facts before that belief is recognized.

I do not like the fact that our government is spying on our every move, but understand that with technology, we have made it that much more easier for them to do so.

I also believe in home schooling and wish I could teach my own children. (but the school system is just fine also)

I also believe in a woman's place vs. a man's place.  I am on my own journey this year to find out the role I am supposed to play as a wife and mother.  I lack on the wife part and have really been working to step it up. I know that I have responsibilities to the house that I must stack on top of my other responsibilities.  I know that I am to care for my children, and honestly, wouldn't want it any other way.  I hate when my kids are not here.  I feel that I was put here to serve them, no matter how crazy they make me. And when I say serve, I do not mean wait on them hand and foot, I am here as a teacher to educate them in life lessons and skills. This job is one I do take very seriously.

I believe in Freedom of speech, and across the board wages, not man vs woman.  I think that our world has evolved, but our county has not grown. I believe in Gay Marriages.  I think that everyone should have equal rights and if that is the lifestyle chosen, you should be able to do as I do.  I believe in legalization of Marijuana.  Marijuana regulated by the Government is going to be safer than street Mary Jane and could/will help stabilize our dreadful economy. I don't see how Cigarettes are legal but weed is not?
Most importantly, and maybe cliche- I believe in MYSELF!  I know that I can be a great Mother and Wife by 2014 's end.  I want to stay at home, working of course, and know that this year I can and WILL make this happen!  I am more determined than EVER.

30 Day Challenge- Day 17- Your highs and lows of this past year

Day #17 - The Highs and Lows of this past year... (2013)

Oh, well, after my last few posts, this one ought to be interesting!

My HIGHS of 2013 would be moving into Gray Gables- finally. .After waiting 2 years, we were finally able/forced to move into this beast of a house!  It was a thrill (um, maybe that is an understatement) to have it all finally come together.  My Dad did an awesome job, had some really great ideas.  My Hubby stuck to his guns, pushed through challenges, learned how to run electrical and got us in!  Another High would be Hubby getting the job at Chrysler!  He has really made me a very PROUD wife!  He is a hard worker and is now working for a great company and securing our future for us and our children!

My LOWS for 2013 would be the arguements with my Parents over and over again!  They were really knock down drag out this past year and really made our Gray Gables experience tragic! (Sorry that they have not yet figured this out)
More LOWS would be that we had to say goodby to Choppa - our Olde English Bulldog (10) and Champ - our Boxer (12).  That was truly hard and devestating to our family!
Another LOW was finding out about my Credit issues (and no, not caused by myself but that is entirely all the information that I am willing to disclose) and running out of funding for our project here.  I know have IOU's that are making me have an ulcer!
#justbeingreal

Living the Dream...eh...Nightmare.......

Today my Oldest turns 5 - can not even believe Hubby and I have a 5 year old.  CRAZY!  We had an awesome day! I took the day off work, got her up to go to Pre-K, we took our Cookie Lady Olaf cookies and got her lil' sis ready too!  We dropped off our Birthday Girl who was supplied with her very own Birthday Crown at school.  Lil' Sis and I hit Meijer's for Balloons, of course! We picked out 5 colored baloons (see Mom- like what you did there!) and LO picked up an Ariel balloon (no FROZEN ones yet) and we got a Birthday Princess Mylar.  We also picked up some odds an ends - that kid is a con artist, I swear!  It isnt even her Bday and she got a clearance shirt (ok, its super cute with applique butterflies!) and a Minnie Mouse book. We checked out, headed for a quick trip a.k.a. bathroom break for my newly trained girl! home and then took off again to pick up Sis before Lunch.  She was all sweaty when we got her- running in the gym- Exercising Mom- like I didnt konw- right! Thanks Miss Im so BIG 5 year old! 
So- get her to the car with out a mention of Balloons- - she sees them and lights up- ok, so she saw the Awesomely HUGE Lip smackers Strawberry chap stick and maybe a Push up Pop waiting for her too. (This MOM is a SUCKER!!!) 

Off to lunch- Bob Evans- her Fav. Chocolate Chip Pancakes and Chocolate Milk- oh my!  It was nice though, Gma was there, my Mom and Dad and she got presents too! Anna from Frozen from Me with 2 Diary-like books with locks and keys (SCORE ME!) ; Anna boots and the accessory pack from Nana and Papa and Mariposa Barbie from Gma. She was in bliss!!!

So, after a brief SUGAR HIGH and 1 trip to the potty (sorry but I'm so Proud of my Little One and her Potty Training adventures!) we were headed home.  I had a task to complete today.  Curtains.  My Mom has been riding my ass about getting my curtains hung for weeks now and with the party this weekend- the Pressure has been ON.  I think she is ashamed of how I keep my house, but that is another adventure, entirely!

So, she gave me rods like forever ago and I purchased some of those clips that require no nails in the trim (What a JOKE) - so I searched HIGH and LOW for these stupid rods.  I saw them, they were moved, saw them again, moved again. Jokes on me, after digging in my attic- Attic Adventures with WASPs in random boxes- EEEKKK!  I moved back to our unfinished master bathroom. Now you all know that since it is titled "unfinished" that means another room we are using for storage! It was a disaster!  I cleaned it entirely out and wah-lah curtain rods were uncovered- with a huge SON OF A BITCH to follow - sorry True Story here!

So, I unmasked my No Nail clips and found that the teeth eff' up the trim too- but oh well. It is what it is.  I am NOT hanging these Bad Boys for myself after all.  Take one for the team Kel!

But- now I have valances in all bedrooms and my living room. They look really nice and all is well- or so I think.

All is calm before the storm. ...


We have this horrendous storm coming through- UGH MORE SNOW! and the city called a Level 3 Snow Emergency for 11 PM tonight through tomorrow.  So- no work (I hope) and I had to call my Parents because no work for me means no sitting for the Parents.  I mentioned that I finally got my curtains hung and who knew it was going to turn into a WAR- oh wait, I should by now.  I mean, I know they say you  cant teach an OLD Dog new tricks- but really, I should know that my words-meaning NOTHING would turn into something to someone.. I am so sick of always coming back to the place we do.  THIS HOUSE.. It has been a living nightmare since day #1.  My Hubby cant get along with My Dad and My Mom only wants to believe 1 side of the story- My Dad's and cant believe how I can side with my Husband and not my Father. The thing is, I called both of them Assholes to their faces and did NOT take a side, instead I stayed NEUTRAL. I agreed with both and said that they didn't need to work together. But, one side thinks the other thinks my Dad is an idiot- which was never said- but whatever.  It is a merry-go-round that still hasn't stopped, um, 5 months/6 months later... We are all trying to move on, in all honesty, since Dad hasn't been here all has been calm.  Hubby is not a carpenter and has never claimed to be, he is a mechanic.  The problem is that I have Parents that believe that they have been here done that and KNOW how everything should be- only thing is, it is HOW they want it all to be. Remember, I am living in the house they wanted 17 years ago... This has been an obstacle since Day #1.  

Anywhoo- its all old news that keeps resurfacing and wont go away. I just want to live - enjoy my family and work on this house as we go.  I don't think that we are in the slums - so I don't know what the deal is- but it just WONT go away.  So what the house is missing siding, or I don't have a floor in my kitchen- BIG DEAL! There is MORE important stuff in life than all that chicken shit. I just don't know what to do to make everyone happy and lately Mom has been forcing HELP on us and honestly, we don't want it. Not to be rude, but life has seemed to move on (or so I thought) and everyone is getting along- why go back to that dark place.  It needed to be separate.  To many feelings involved and if I didn't like an idea of the other party, it was escalated to an argument. 

This is where I SOOOO wish we would have moved away.  I keep racking my brain on why we didn't.  I know that one day we will be living good- no house payment, debt free... but right now there are still so many headaches and I have such negative entity all around me. 

The icing on the cake is that Mom thinks Hubby is controlling.  We both can't do anything but laugh- he is so far from that, I don;t even know what the heck to say.  I think Mom thinks he is controlling because I no longer follow her every lead by letting her control me. (Yes, there were times)  But we are a Union.  Hubby and I worked through the hardships during this project together.  Us against them, how frickin' sad is that!

We have handled our life this way from the beginning.  We talk thorugh everything, make a comprise here and there but it is never from one party.  Yes, I have more duties in my day and I handle our kids, but when push comes to shove, I have chosen this.  I am probably more controlling then him because when my kids would wake in the middle of the night, he would try to go get them but I would jump for them. We live with give and take and although it is NOT always easy, there is never a question of control. 

Mom said something that hurt me pretty good- she hopes that when I go through this with my daughters I finally figure out how it feels.  (our issue was she wants to offer help and we don't want to take it)

This offends me because I will NEVER be like her.  If my daughters want help, no matter what, I will be there.  I will not turn up my nose if they want to paint their kitchen purple!  I will encourage and just open my heart and be there- not offer advice like I get from my own Mother.  I will not criticize or change my tone when things are not how I think they should be because at the end of the day, it is about my kids and what they like and how they think the world should be colored - not my view through rose colored glasses.

I am on a rant, and kind of still reeling from our latest argument.  How sad.  Someone kindly declines your help and you childishly start arguing with them and have words like We will Never offer our help again - Grow Up.  I had to say that some stuff is better left unsaid... Truer words have never been spoken by myself.

Happy Birthday to my Beautiful Baby Girl!!  Her Big party will be Sunday and I can't wait!

Signing off from this hell hole we call home- my Problem Child- Gray Gables..