To the Moms Silently Struggling with
Anxiety
I’ve always been tightly wound. I am a “Person of Order” I would always
say. I gravitate towards structure,
plans, lists and the like.
It is safe to assume that my personality type is prone to a
bit of anxiety from time to time. My World Order takes its toll on me. But, to
say that I have Anxiety disorder is not something I would quickly fess up
to.
I mean, Anxiety was more of a
feeling that I got every now and then, standing within a particularly stressful
situation, and even then, it never hung around to long.
Then… I became a
Parent.
Suddenly, I was surrounded by fear. I mean, there is the constant worrying about
the ridiculous, far-fetched ways that my children could get hurt. This started with the crib sleeping, in which
I had to have the baby monitor on my bedside table, cranked up loud. I had to hear every movement. Then came the “Are
you still breathing” checks, which still happen to this day.
Sure, some of this is typical MOM stuff. But, over time I have found my anxiety
starting to creep into the rest of my life, even the regular, day to day things
were causing panic. I have a six year old now who is thriving with independence
and every cut with “real” scissors causes my breath to stop. We are running even a minute late and I am a
mess.
Some days I push through, but other days the anxiety
cripples me, bringing me to tears. My
fears can be irrational, but the sense of overwhelming feelings is unbearable.
Currently, I am missing morning routine for school and it is
sending me into overdrive.
- I can’t sleep.
- I can’t breathe.
- I am sad.
- I am miserable.
- I am down in the dumps.
That being said, I know that I need to work on these
issues. I need to control this anxiety
and go easier on myself. I am still going
down this road, working on these issues, so I declare no expert status here,
but I have a list (go figure) of some things that I have been trying and they
seem to be helping along the way.
- Verbalize Realities- When a situation is causing anxiety for me, I sometimes stop and ask myself, “What is the MOST LIKELY outcome?” This encourages me to think positive and not to focus on what is the worst that might happen.
- Lower My Expectations – I am completely honest with myself and that takes admitting that my anxiety stems from the unrealistic high expectations that I set, ultimately setting myself up for disaster. To help with this, I am working on lowering expectations, i.e. I remind myself with my kids that they are only X years old to help put behavior in perspective.
- Pray – regardless of your views on religion, simply stopping to pause, breathe, and say a simple prayer can help with the level of anxiety you were triggering.
- Limiting Technology- technology definitely triggers my anxiety. Everything is fast, instantaneous and distracting. As much as I enjoy social media, I know that it is just as important for me to disconnect, slow down and be present.
- Do Something Physical – Yes, exercise helps. It is those great endorphin's that make me Happy and kills the anxiety in its tracks.
Just know that
anxiety is something that a lot of us Moms struggle with, silently.
We want to be cool, free and we don’t want
anyone to see that Mom who is losing it.
Fellow Mom’s dealing
with Anxiety; I am here to tell you that:
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