Day 13- Do NOT Criticize your child/children today.

We have enough critics.  Be an encourager. One sincere word of encouragement after failure is worth more than a day of praise after success. Unk~

Our children start as little pieces of play doh, really.   We are helping to mold them into the people we hope them to be become, aren't we?  So, it is super important to ensure that we are not criticizing our kids along the way.  After all, they are already dealing with Bullying and Peer pressure in school, why not make H O M E a safe place for all the negativity?  

Think Positive!

Use positive words and encourage your children to be themselves.  Don't put them down, do help with self esteem, because that is a BIG area that can really make or break a child.

Walk a mile in my shoes, see what I see, hear what I hear, feel what I feel, THEN maybe you'll understand why I do what I do, 'till them, don't judge me.  Unk~

Let's talk Self-Esteem:

Self-Esteem is similar to self-worth or how much a person values himself/herself.  This can change from day to day or year to year, but overall self-esteem develops from infancy to adulthood.

Self-esteem can be defined as a feeling of being capable and loved.  A child who is happy with something they did, but does not feel loved can experience low self-esteem.  Likewise, if a child feels loved but unsure of their abilities, they can develop low self-esteem.  Healthy self-esteem comes from a good balance of both. 

Self-esteem starts very early in life.  It is based on the concept of success followed by effort and persistence.  Once adulthood is reached, it is harder to make changes on how a person sees and defines themselves.

As kids try and fail, it is important that they feel like they can try and fail again, until they finally succeed.  This allows children to develop ideas about their own capabilities.  Parental involvement is key here, to help children form accurate, healthy self perceptions.

How can you help?  Well, easy. Show encouragement and enjoyment.  Avoid focusing on one specific area, like a successful test taken, this will show kids that they are only as valuable as their test scores and we don't want that. Be excited about many different things they do and be genuine. 

What to do if you notice unhealthy Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem will adjust here and there as your child grows. The effect is from your child's experiences and new perceptions.  If you child doesn't want to try new things or talks about themselves in a negative manner, this shows frustration and disappointment in themselves.  This can put your child at risk for stress and difficulties in solving different kinds of problems and challenges as they happen. 

What are signs of a Healthy Self-Esteem?

How to tell if you child has a healthy self-esteem is pretty easy.  Your child will be comfortable in any setting with other children.  When they are met with a challenge, they work at finding a solution.  They find optimism in the situations they are dealing with.

What can I, the Parent, DO?

Be careful what you say to your kids.  Children can be sensitive to parents's words. This is where praise comes in. Praise your kiddo not only for a job well done, but for the effort they put it.  Be truthful!  

Right:  "Well, you didn't make the team, but I am really proud of the effort you put into it." 

Wrong: "Well, next time you'll work harder and make it." 

Reward effort and completion instead of outcome.

It is important to help your child overcome a disappointment and allows them to understand that they can not be great at everything and that it is OK. It makes us all unique.

Be a positive role model.  Don't show them YOU being harsh on yourself because your kid will eventually mirror you.  

Nurture your own self-esteem and they will have a great role model. 

Identify and Redirect Inaccurate beliefs.  Your kids are going to have irrational beliefs from time to time about themselves but as a Parent, we need to identity these moments and help them set more accurate standards, be more realistic and find a healthy self-concept. 

These irrational beliefs can set your child up for failure in life, so it is very important to shed some light and find reality.

Be Spontaneous and Affectionate.  Did you ever know that your love can help boost your child's self-esteem?

  

Give your kids hugs, tell them your proud of them.  Give praise often, but again, be genuine. 

Give positive, accurate feedback.  If you are always saying things like "All you ever do is cry." you will make your child feel like they have no self control.  Instead, try to get them to talk it out.  "I see you are very upset but I would love to hear why you are feeling so sad about..."  I am acknowledging my child's feelings and encouraging my child to talk about her feelings. 

Create a safe, loving home environment.  If your child does NOT feel safe, they are at the greatest risk for developing poor self-esteem.  A child who is exposed to parents who fight and argue repeatedly may feel they have no control over their environment and become helpless or depressed.  This also goes for problems in school, trouble with peers and other factors that could alter your child's self-esteem.  

Encourage your kids to talk to you and help with solving problems that are too big for them to solve themselves.

Help kids become involved in constructive experiences.  Find activities that encourage cooperation, rather than competition.  

Find ways to contribute to positive self-esteem.

As a parent, taking responsibility and pride in who you are is a sure sign of healthy self-esteem and the greatest gift parents can give to their children.

Why I believe in this....

Being a kid is hard. I get it.  The one thing I want for my kids is for them to have a happy childhood.  I want to be the person who tells them regularly that I am proud of them encourages them to be themselves in all things.  I have a five year old, who sadly, has already had to deal with bullying and it has left an imprint on her. I am working hard to make sure that my kids get the most out of life and that no one kills their fire.  That is the most important thing that I can do as a parent. I work hard not to be the person who criticizes in most things, instead I encourage. When my oldest brushes her hair and it looks like a rats nest, it is important to tell her what a good job she is doing and although I will tell her that I am just going to help out with a spot she missed, she is growing up.  (for the most part, she brushes before bed and let's me do the hair styles for school so no teasing can ensue)  The fact of the matter is that genuinely, I am so proud of both of my girls.  They are each so different in every way and I could not be happier about that fact.

#proudmama

#donotcriticize

#worryaboutyou

#mystory

~Kel

Because my girls and I love Victoria Justice:

Day 12- Pray for Wisdom

We all make mistakes...even Mommies

Last night was a rough one in our house.  

Me versus my sick three year old who has broken "listening" ears and an over protective BIG SISTER. 

 

Sleep deprivation was the cause, that much I am sure of.  It was a child jumping on her bed, which is in front of a window and lacking a headboard (I am on it!) and images from this Momma of her little, tiny, three year old falling into that said window, glass breaking and her tumbling to the ground, way, way down.  It is a horrible image, one that I could do without. 

It is a rule in our house....No Jumping on the beds.  We have this rule because one five year old tumbled off her bed into her big dresser and hurt herself really bad. Luckily, it was not a trip to the ER, but close.

So, after repeated attempts to get Miss Three from jumping on her bed and her repeatedly NOT listening to one word that was leaving my mouth, I started taking things away.  Everytime she did NOT listen, she lost another stuffed animal.

Animals were literally flying into the hallway.  

Acrossed the hall my anxious five year old was showing signs of a meltdown.  I tried to be calm, but after her angst and screaming and yelling she got a swat on her bottom and was ordered to return to her room and mind her own business. (So much for NOT YELLING!)  All this was going on while my three year old finally sat down on her bed, realizing that I had taken her precious Minnie to meet her fate of living in the white plastic bag until Miss Three could EARN her back with better behavior.  This process seemed to have been lost in translation with my five year old, who scratched the crap out of me while I was loading up the plastic bag full of fresh goodies. More yelling ensued and finally, I just walked away. So much for remaining calm and firmly planted- MOM.  Not exactly my proudest moment- let's just say! 

While I went downstairs to cool my growing, raging temper off, my five year old had worked herself into a complete meltdown and the result was PUKE. 

Lots and lots of puke.  

It was all over my freshly shampoo'ed carpets.  I was calm at this point...well somewhat calm.  I filled my bowl with warm water and dish soap, grabbed my paper towels and scrub brush and went up to make sure she was OK and calming down before I tackled the mess.

During clean up, with us both calm...we talked it through.  I explained that I had not handled myself correctly, she explained the same.  She told me that she did not know that her sisters stuffed animals could be earned back and thought they would be gone forever.  She then told me that it was my job to let her know what was going on...Um, she is FIVE!  I had to calm, rationally explain to her that I was Mom and the only person who I was expected to explain my stance with was Dad, of which she understood...somewhat. 

I am somewhat confused because this is the same actions that are done for her when she acts out and this is how she has learned making the right decision versus the wrong ones.  All in all, she was terrified that Santa saw her behavior, of which I reassured her that we all make mistakes and Santa understands that. It is how we learn from them that is important. 

Talk about a ROUGH night! 

The funniest part is that while ALL this is going on, my three year old finally fell asleep! That is just crazy! It had a profound affect on my five year old though, which is hard because it really had nothing to do with her in the first place. She was not even instigating her sister, for once!

Enough about the drama of our household, but I think that it does have something to go with Wisdom.  

It is the wisdom to understand mistakes and learn from them and try not to make the same mistakes.  

It is about learning, which, young or old, we are always doing, right!

Pray for Wisdom

And because, I think this is important:

~Kel

Day 11- A letter to my Kids

Words should be spoken that are often left unsaid...

Today it is important to recognize our children, after all they are the reason we get the exclusive, all important title of M O M!

To my oldest daughter.... I am so glad that you are my daughter because you are unique and special soul.  You are so full of life and bright eyed about the world in which you live.  You are a joy to be around and so much fun at the same time...except maybe when you are grumpy...but we will let that slide!

You are excited to learn, eager to please and very independent in this life. (which worries me some, but I know that you are strong) 

 You have grown up so fast, it seems, and although we have had tough roads behind us, we have found common grounds before us. (which is relief because you really had me questioning whether I was going to make it out alive!) 

I am so excited to see what the future holds for you, knowing that no matter what it is you will do what makes your heart happy, which I for one, could not be more proud of!

Keep learning, keep growing and never be anyone but who you were truly meant to be!

   

To my youngest daughter...I am thrilled that you are my daughter because you are the light of our lives.  You have brought laughter and fun to our home and made everyday completely unpredictable. (This being said from your Mama who has order OCD.)  You are a treat to be with, your sweet heart is the best and your actions are always pure and genuine.  I will not let anyone break your good nature'd spirit, I promise you that.  You are going to be an amazing person in this world, I can feel it. Your Sister and you are close and that is all I could have asked God to grant to us.  You will always be one another's side, pushing each other to be better and always having one another's back.  

At the tender age of three, you are a button pusher, we can see this already, but there is love enveloping our home and for that I feel like the richest person in the world!

    

As a Mom, I am lucky, as you two girls really have been a breeze to raise.  We have used positive reinforcement and pushed in each of you to make your own decisions, but warned that you must choose wisely, for there are consequences to your actions. 

Of course, I am a Bulldog Mom too!  To my Otis, you are a perfect fit for our family.  You are lazy and stinky and snore really loud, but we love you so much.  You go outside by yourself and come back to the door when  you are finished, you tell us when you are hungry and even hug us when we are sad.   You are the best dog that we could ever have and are so glad to call you Our Dog!

    

~ConfessionsofagratefulMom

~Kel

Day 10... Todays MOM Focus: J O Y

J O Y in Motherhood

The  J O Y in Motherhood comes in MOMENTS. 

There will be hard times, and frustrating times.  

But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of JOY and satisfaction.

by: Elder M. Russel Ballard

Truer words have never been spoken in my opinion.  There are so many moments when you literally want to cry over spilled milk (or in my case this morning...spilled cough medicine)- but you can't, after all it just takes some bounty and a little extra work to clean it all up.  

There are moments when you want to scream because your little angels will not listen to you...or appear to be deaf to your voice, no matter the tone.  

There are moments when you want to walk out of the door, throw your hands up and shout to God, "I give!"  Because some days feel more like a test of your strength and will, than life at all.  

But, then...among the crazy days, there lies this little sliver of heaven.  There are small words spoken, actions taken that make you smile, proud even.  I think that this 

J O Y is much more recognizable when your child reaches school age, but it does happen!

OUR CHALLENGE: 

Today's Mom focus: J O Y   - identify the JOY in Motherhood

My five year old (going on thirty, I might add) is a  J O Y.  I mean, don't get me wrong, we still have our knock down, drag outs- but for the most part there is a place where we can reason with one another.  I cant believe that I am saying this at age five...but she is an Old Soul, that one... and very determined in all she does.  She likes to make her own choices and I can say that I take pride in knowing that for the most part, she chooses wisely!

Now, my three year old is at that lovely stubborn, "not gonna listen to you", busy, busy, busy stage in life.  She is sweet and silly and so much fun..but she can also be quite the bugger! And let me tell you, right now we are super sick and it has not been anything to write to Mama about!  But, we still have our moments, like yesterday, riding home in the car she is listening intently to Taylor Swift and blurts out "I can write my Name...Mama."  Yes, yes she can and she practiced real hard to be able to do that, so that made me smile because that is something I am very proud of her for, and obviously, she is proud too!

But, then there was a talk that she had with her Dad over the weekend...so in the bathtub she tells me that she will be leaving soon.  I eyed her curiously. "Leaving soon, where?" "Its OK Mama, I am gonna miss you but I gotta go."  I walked cautiously on this line that she was feeding me! Turns out, Daddy-O told her that she can't live in our house forever and someday she would move out and get a house of her own.  Guess it made an impact because to be quite frank, she seems rather excited to leave us and very reassuring that it will be OK.  Mind blowing to me that she would remember this convo with her Dad, let alone bid her farewells!  I had to explain that she would probably leave us a long time from now and that she could always come back.  She responded "After you take me to Meet Minnie?" 

Again, a conversation we had to have the other day about Disney World and No we can't go in December when our oldest's friend is going ...but when our Three year old is old enough to remember!  

Then Miss Three year old informs me that she is going to get married and her boy will buy her a big Belle costume for Halloween to wear.  Yes, he better....is my thoughts! LOL

I feel JOY everyday with my little ladies.  I could not image life without them.  Motherhood in itself is a joyous occasion and add little ones and it makes it so much more sweet! (Even if we have rough days.) I have grown to think that for every good day we have, it erases a handful of the rough ones! Must be doing something right...

(Remains to be seen!)

~Kel

Day 9- Mom Challenge "Picture yourself at your child's age. Remember how you felt."

Another day...Another challenge question...

Today is all about memories. I think that this goes hand in hand with what the challenge is about, as a whole.  I mean, after an intense convo with my Hubby the other night, and of all things it had to do with Parenting and Football, it all boils down to respect.  

I mean, if you want your child to respect you, should you NOT respect them?  

I don't want this to get confused with disabling your parenting skills, but when they talk, shouldn't you listen? You do, after all want them to listen when you talk, right?  Don't they learn by example?  

So our Challenge Question today is:

Picture yourself at your Child's Age.  Remember how you felt?

Me with my Mom @ age 4

If I go back to my little self in Kindergarten, and think about what I was doing and where I was, I am instantly filled with a few memories of a fun, happy environment.  I remember Kindergarten and my Teacher, Ms. Foraker, and the kids in my class. I remember my carpet square, it was blue, always had to be blue.  I remember sitting in the "circle" sharing our show 'n tell stuff. I have no recollection of what I actually brought to show n' tell though.  I remember playing, we had a lot of toys to play with in the classroom for cook, teacher, there were blocks and cars.  It was always up-beat and fun. I don't really remember learning though. I guess we were in our own way, but I don't remember having a time where we sat and learned our alphabet or such- maybe we did those things on the carpets?  But I do know that everyone was kind and we all got along- for the most part.  Although, I remember being a little rude to a boy who used to be quite bothersome.. We did not have "bullying" in those days- gosh that makes me sound ancient!

My youngest

I remember being happy about school and excited to go to school.  I remember the first day I went and being nervous, I think I might have cried when my Mom left me.  That is ironic because my child had to ride a school bus, by herself on her first day.  She had to go into her room all by herself and did not even have the opportunity to see me leave her besides when she got on that bus. (That was a nerve racking day for me and I remember feeling so emotional for just "leaving" her)

My Oldest

I know that my kiddo is strong and LOVES school.  I could not be happier by that fact!  I know that so far this year we have had our share of bullying and name calling, which had shocked me because they are only five! 

I often try to put myself in my kids shoes, to help see her perspective.  We had first week tears, as some kids did not want to play with her on the playground at recess, or an incident where another classmate was telling her to get out of the bathroom when she was in there...unfortunately, they sat at the same table in class and were excused to the bathroom break together. I wanted to cry. She was strong.  I think that so far, this has been my own battle, hearing other children be mean to my child. I guess that is why I have learned how to go about addressing the situation, be it with my kiddo or if it has escalated into an "unsafe" place, to her teacher. It is rough out here for parents!

I do, however, never forget that she is a kid and that these experiences will mold her into the person she will become. I can say that she has handled herself quiet well, better than myself and I could NOT be prouder. 

It's our Anniversary, so let's have a QUIZ..

Anniversary time..so of course, let's do a QUIZ...duh.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, right! 

I mean, you plan a wedding, you go for your marriage certificate, you tie the knot and party hard for the rest of the evening.  Then you wake up the next day and start the rest of your life. 

It gets a bad rap, marriage, because most people are really bad at it. That is not Marriage's fault, per say, is it?  I think it is the couples' fault for either being immature and/or not smart enough to manage Marriage. 

It is hard to think of vowing your love for years down the road in one single moment.  Who can do that?  Make promises 10 years down the road to the partner that stands before them.  Would they even be the same in that amount of time? But isn't that the point? I mean life is full of uncertainty.  We never know where we will be in a year, let alone ten, right!

So what if you can't always keep your promises?  I mean, as long as your are being the best, most amazing life partner, doesn't that make up for an unkempt promise? 

Here I stand, eight long years later, by my best friends side, still.  I love my Husband with all I have.  I promised him forever, the good, the bad and the ugly.  All three have shown their face, too, by the way and guess what?  We are still standing, still falling in love with one another everyday and still working at our marriage. 

Also, it does NOT stay the same.  We have changed individually, we have changed together, we have changed parts of our lives and we aren't done yet! 

So we are about to head out to dinner and remember why we fell in love, how we started our journey so long ago and I thought what would not be a better way to remember....than to take a quiz?

So, honestly answering these questions:

1) Why do you love me? 

I know, sounds loaded, right! This could go two ways, and I am hoping for the better of the two! People seem to feel that this is a question that doesn't especially need answering.  Most will say we love others' simply because we love them- which is a horrible answer!  All people need to know exactly why it is that they love the people they love. 

Loving someone is a very selfish act- it's OK! You love the person you love for what that person does for you and how he/she makes you feel. 

We may all have slightly different answers as to why we love someone, but if we aren't able to exactly define the parameters to our love, then we're likely to struggle later on once the initial intensity dies down.  If your partner can't answer why he/she loves you, it can cause uncertainty down the road.

To my Hubby, why I love you- you are amazing. You make sure that our family always has what it needs, you try hard to make us happy, you try to make the bed without being asked, you fix my car to make sure I am safe, you tell me to be careful when I leave, you listen to me go on and on and on...You look at me as if I am the only person in the world, you look into my eyes and I can feel your love for me.

2) Why did you want to spend the rest of your life with me?

"Because I love you" is not a good answer here. Life is a journey- one that is best not traveled entirely alone.  However, not everyone has the same destination in mind.  Wanting to take different pit stops along the route is one thing.  Wanting different things out of life is another entirely.

Your partner should be able to tell you what life experiences he/she hoped to share with you.  It is these little goals you set for yourselves that make your life special.

To my Hubby, I wanted to spend my life with you because I could see it no other way.  I knew from the moment i saw you, at age 14, that you were the one.  We started to "date" and I knew that I could not be away from you.  You held my entire heart and without you by myside I was so lonely. You were my best friend and the person that I wanted by my side to share this life with and all that it unfolded.

3) Will you do your best to continue to keep the romance alive?

Keeping the romance alive is not an easy task. Yes, it’s all mental, but keeping interest for such a long time is difficult. It takes a lot of work and creativity. It takes the other person regularly trying to please and impress you, which in itself becomes increasingly difficult with each new year.

Romantic love cannot survive on its own; both of you are going to have to maintain it constantly. Is your partner willing to keep the romance as one of his or her main priorities?

To my Hubby, it has been eight years and I feel that if anything, we are like a fine wine and just keep getting better with age.  Although we do have obstacles that come in our way and keep getting bigger, we still manage to try to find intimacy and find ways to spend time, just the two of us.  I know that with work schedules and life in general, we still manage to connect and love and find our way and will continue to do so for years to come, as it is a vital part of our growth and our joining as a solid team.

4. Will you continue to grow with me, and not away from me?

We may not know exactly where our lives will take us and what we will learn — who we will become — along the way, but we can make a conscious effort to grow closer together and not apart.

Most people grow apart over the years because they feel like they've accomplished everything in their relationships that needs accomplishing.

This is one main reason marriages end up being so horrible — people think that there is no greater peak to climb than the one their relationship is already resting on. Marriage shouldn't be the end, it should be the beginning.

We have learned throughout our marriage that it is easy to pull away from one another.  Shift work makes life together the most difficult.  One is going to bed when one is getting up.  It is awkward and lonely, but we do not let it kill our love.  As each year passes, we still find ways to come together. I want to grow old with you and work so very hard to make sure that this is our fate!

5. Will you stick through the rough times?

The good times are a piece of cake. The difficult times, however, will destroy your relationship if you allow them to. There comes a point in every relationship when you have to make a decision. It’s a decision that, if made, is only made once.  You will reach a point where you will either decide you are going to be there for this person for the rest of his or her life, or not.

If you decide you’re going to stick with this person then you can’t allow any tragedy or outside force to shake that decision. This is one of the most important decisions we make in our lives — or, as it often turns out, fail to make decisively. Has your lover made the decision? Have you?

Rough times happen. It is easy to say that it's over but as we have learned, it is harder to actually walk away.  A fight is just that.  It is a moment when things are out of order.  We have always found a way to put it back and after that year we have even learned, or begun to learn, how to put the pieces back together. 

6. Are you willing to lose some battles in order to keep the peace?

The key to a successful marriage is taming your ego. No matter how competitive we are, sometimes you just need to pick your battles. Sometimes the arguments and the stress just aren't worth it.

What you need to understand is that 99 percent of arguments aren’t arguments over fact, but rather over opinion. An opinion is neither right nor wrong. Sometimes you just have to let things be.

We still have not mastered this.  I tend to shut my mouth and go timid. Let's call this a work in progress. ;)

7. Can you promise to put us ahead of everything else?

Life has a lot to offer. And if you’re anything like me, you have a very large appetite. We want everything life has to offer, and then some. The problem is we don’t have enough time to have it all; our lives are too short. We can only pick a few things we consider important and do our best to flourish in those areas.

The beauty of marriage is that it can be used as a base to build the rest of your life on. Your partner should be just that: your partner. Your relationship is the most important thing in your life because it’s what makes the rest of your life possible.

You have proved this time and time again, as have I. Our family is the most important thing to both of us and that makes our life that much better. Our goals are the same.  Raising those beautiful girls, right!

8. Will you be a great parent?

Again, how could anyone know he or she will be a great partner? Easy. You just decide you’re going to be. That’s it. No tricks. No gimmicks. Just a decision and then action.

Some things don’t need too much thinking involved. You’re going to be great because you decided you will be. Will your lover do the same and be a great role model for your children?

You are a great parent, I think that sometimes it is just forgotten that they are still very young kids. It is my fault as well as yours and something that we do not see eye to eye on, but we work on this and try to find the right thing for our children.

9. Will you be sure to remind me how much you love me regularly?

People not only want, but need to hear it. We need to be reminded you love us because we know that love doesn't always last forever. We want to hear the words and then have that reassurement reinforced with actions showing how much you love us.

It really is enough just to love us, but understand you need to love us the way we need to be loved — just like we need to love you the way you need to be loved in order for you to be happy.

I am sure that this is annoying, but sometimes I am lonely, sometimes I am cross and sometimes I just need you to come to me, hug me and tell me I am beautiful. (Im crazy)

10. Can you promise to do all you can to keep that spark alive?

Sparks don’t spark on their own. Think about how a lighter works. You have a spark that lights the fuel, which creates a flame. But how does that spark, spark? You have to create a force that will result in the energy creating a spark.

Just the same, you can’t expect sparks to keep flying if you’re not trying. If you want to have a happy and healthy marriage, then you need to find someone willing to devote the necessary energy.

Everything get's better with age!

11. Will you support me if I can’t support myself?

Not just financially, but mentally. Maybe even physically if necessary. No one knows what life holds. The unexpected happens, often leaving us weak, hurt or even permanently damaged. 


Will your partner carry you when you can’t walk?

Will your partner support you when you’re weak at the knees? 

Will your partner carry the family you've created until you regain your strength? 

Is your partner capable of mustering the strength to fight battles for the both of you?

I would fight the greatest battle for you. I know you would do the same. Team work.

12. Will you promise to continue to pursue your personal goals and dreams?

Marriage is not entirely the end of the person you were and the start of a new you. Sure, being in a serious relationship does require a person to change in many ways.

Yet, there’s a part of us we can never, under any circumstance, let go of. The dreams, wants and hopes we have — our personal goals — must stay alive.

When we lose them, we lose ourselves and inevitably lose the person we love. Marriage isn’t just an “us.” It’s also a you and him/her. You have to juggle being the person you have always been with being a part of a larger whole. It’s not easy. But it is necessary.

I try to never lose hope for us. Dream team.  I know that our work together is not done. I know that we have a love for working for ourselves, it is a shared interest and something that we were really good at.  It is something that I know one day we will achieve.

13. Will you not allow yourself to let go?

Will your partner take care of him or herself by eating healthy and exercising? Will your partner get regular checkups and take vitamins? This may sound silly, but I've seen what letting yourself go can do to a marriage.

Moreover, I've seen how not maintaining your health can make the lives of those closest to you incredibly difficult.

Yes, your family should take care of you when you need to be taken care of — but it’s your responsibility first and foremost to take care of yourself. No people should become a burden to those they love.

Times get tough for us and I fear that we both will sacrifice ourselves for our kids. I love you no matter what but I want you to be with me for a long time. I also need to practice what I preach!!

14. If I’m the first to go, will you be there with me until the end?

Will your partner hold your hand when you’re too weak to hold it back? Will your partner kiss your forehead and tell you he or she loves you, that you made life worth living? That, because of you, life made sense? Will your partner be there for your last breath, when you find yourself pressed betwixt fear and content?

No one should leave this world alone. It’s said that we leave it the way we come into it, but even when we come into it, there’s someone there to hold us. I understand most people don’t like to think about death, but seeing as it’s an inevitability, it’s better to plan ahead.

I speak of death as if it is knocking at my door. I want to be here to watch my girls grow up, I pray for it, but if it is not in the cards for me, I hope that you can survive my little ladies. They are the light of my life, one that I feel that I take for granted.  I don't want to be alone when I dis-send to the next chapter and I hope that you will hold my hand, whisper I love you's to me and live the rest of your life to the fullest in my honor.

15. Can you promise me that if my time is cut short, you’ll continue to live on for the both of us?

You love this person. You want him or her to be happy regardless of whether he or she is with you or without you. If death collects you ahead of schedule, you’ll want to know during those last few seconds that the person you love will continue to live life to the fullest.

That your partner will continue to do great things, continue to be happy, and — if you have children — continue to love your children and guide them through life.

The death of a loved one can ruin you. It can break you in ways that make full-recovery 
impossible. Can your partner promise you to find the strength and courage to press forward?

To my Hubby,

You are my everything. I am actually sad that we did not start our adventure at the tender age of 14, when I first saw you. I swear I knew you were the one, even if I didn't really know.  The fate that brought us together was not a coincidence, it was from a higher power and one that I will forever be grateful for.  


As we grow, as we change and our life evolves, I want to say Thank you.  Thank you for this life.  Thank you for the ups and downs- all of which I have grown to be the person who I am today.  Thank you for our two beautiful daughters, who have forever changed my world. Thank you for the bigger house and the country, the clean air that has purified my soul and allowed me to look at the world in a completely different perspective. 

At the end of the day, I am more in love with you as the time passes.  We might be living in two realms right now with work, but we connect, we love and we share. I miss you terribly, I love you more and I want you by my side.

Happy 8th Anniversary.  Happy 12 years together total and Happy Life . I am truly blessed by the gifts I have been given from God and will continue to try to not take these gifts for granted. 

You are my world and I love you more than I would ever be able to share.  Happy Anniversary and here is to 8 more and then some! (Red Velvet Cupcakes have already sealed the deal!)

~Kel