30 Day Challenge- Day #5

Day #5- A time you thought about ending your own life.

Ohwee, serious up in here!  I can honestly say that I have never thought about ending my own life. I do often think about God taking me out of this world and it scares the shit out of me (sorry to be so Frank, but that is the God's honest truth).  I actually feel like crying to even admit I have those thoughts because if God were to take me, I have so many questions, like who would raise my girls, who would take care of them and make sure they are cuddled, loved and all those things that Mommies provide.

I have, however, been a support system for two suicidal people in my life.  I try to be the voice of reason the best that I can. I think the world would be cold if everyone took their life in their own hands.  We are meant to struggle and I live by the logic that every thing that we/I go through is God's test to make us/me stronger and that I am never handed more than I can handle- no matter how much I think I can't handle it. It remains true because we have been handed some tough cards over the years and at the time it feels like we are sinking into a black hole, but yet, somehow we prevail.

I think that there is more to this life than money, things, and what us, Americans, think make the world go round.  I have really tried to get our life to a simpler place.  I have learned how to cut costs, live on budgets, but I also know how to splurge, especially on my children. I just think that the ultimate thing in life is something money cant buy, its love, companionship and someone to be in your corner.  For me, that would be my Hubby for sure.  Without him, I would be very imbalanced.  He is definitely my rock, my best friend and my soul mate.  I do Thank God everyday for this life. And, its not always easy, but I am I still VERY Grateful!

So, I am here, on this Earth and hope to be to see my kids grown, and their kids grown. I guess that is the ultimate goal. I am not going anywhere, God willing...