Marriage Monday...Marriage is not for ME...

Marriage is not for ME!

Now, before you get your panties in a bunch, or run off and tell my Hubby (which I have discussed this topic with him) - there is a point to this topic.  

Hubby and I were watching a tv show and the kid said he was terrified to get married. I turned to my Hubby and said, "We're you scared to get married?" His reply was a shocking, "Hell Yes!" I must've looked at him funny.  It wasn't like we had just met. We had been together five, long, drawn out years.  We had even already purchased a home together. I really didn't know.

Then he went on to tell me that all the stories that you hear, horrific stories about marriage and having a Wife, it doesn't exactly scream, "Hey, I want that, Let's jump into that."  And to tell you the truth, from a guy's perspective, I can totally see that. It makes sense. 

So, thinking about marriage and the fears that guys have, I think it might be a frame of mind.  As a Guy, (and this can totally apply to a Gale too) - are you getting married for You? 

If you said Yes, you are thinking about Marriage ALL wrong.  Marriage is not about you. Marriage is not about ME.  This is something that has literally taken me six years to unearth.  I walked down the isle, proud, happy and exicited. I had not a clue what marriage really meant, just that I was going to be with this Guy for the rest of my life. I expressed my fears to him, sure.  Marriage is a sacred thing to me, I come from two people, who are still married, whether they should be or not, and although their marraige works, it has also helped me see what I did not want in my own marriage. I had lived with my Hubby, and knew that our marriage would be different and I wanted that for the rest of my life. 

Do you see all the I's in that statement? 

I was young and naive.  To think about marriage now, and all the reasons TO get married, I think you need to think about it like this: 

Marriage is really simple.  You don't marry for your own happiness, you marry to make someone else  happy. This Marriage is not for ME, I  married for my Family. I didn't marry my Hubby for the sake of having in-laws or relatives, but instead for our children that we would make together. I married because of the Dad I saw him to be, help with raising them, with making an impact in their lives.  Therefore, I can say that Marriage is not for me. It is not even about me. It is, however, about my Hubby, being that he is the person that I chose and vice-verse. 

I know that this is a strange way to think about this subject, but putting into my own perspective, I married for L O V E yes, for the bond that we create, totally, but I also married because I felt something in my heart, I looked at this Man, who asked me, choose me, to be his Wife and I could see our children that we would one day have, I could see our life and how at the end of each day, I live for him and he for me. (Of course, now, there are 2 other little bodies that we also live for.)

I also think that it is important to say that a true marriage and true love is never about you, it is instead about the person that you love. You job, to understand their wants, needs, hopes and dreams. Your job is to find out what you can give, how you can help and without selfishness.

Today, I can look back and realize that Marriage is about Family.

Yes, it really is that simple. I love my Hubby, I will do anything to make him smile, to brighten his day and to ease his life in any way that I can muster. To me, he is my family. Our children are what we created as a family. It was done out of love and selflessness. Nothing more. 

So I can say that Marriage is not for ME. It is for others. 

[Our wedding day, 11/11/2006]